The Sheik and I

OKAY.

[CHILD]

I'M WORKING, BECKETT.

[CHATTERING]

UH-OH.

[MAN] WHAT HAPPENED?

IS THAT WHAT YOU SAID?

[CHATTERING, LAUGHING]

IS THIS A BETTER SHIRT?

[MAN] YEAH.

THIS IS BETTER,

RIGHT? THE RED SHIRT?

[MAN]

I THINK IT'S--

YEAH WELL, IT'S VERY CRAMPED--

OOH, THAT IS BETTER, ACTUALLY.

IT'S A LOT BETTER?

YEAH, THAT LOOKS NICE,

ON THE SCREEN.

SHOULD I TRY THE...?

A LITTLE AGGRESSIVE MAYBE.

AGGRESSIVE?

NO, THAT'S GOOD.

SHOULD I DO BLACK?

NO.

OH, YEAH.

THAT'S WORSE RIGHT?

NO. OH.

NO.

IT'S NOT BAD.

[MAN]

REALLY?

YOU LIKE THAT?

THERE'S JUST SOMETHING

VERY UNASSUMING ABOUT IT.

THE BLUE IS MORE LIKE,

HEY, I'M JUST A RELAXED PERSON.

THIS IS MORE LIKE

I HAVE SOMETHING TO SAY.

YEAH.

SO I GOT THIS E-MAIL,

AND IT WAS FROM:

A CURATOR IN BEIRU

WHO WAS ASKING ME

TO MAKE A FILM:

FOR THE SHARJAH BIENNIAL,

WHICH I HAD NEVER

HEARD OF BEFORE.

WELL, I LOOKED IT UP,

AND IT'S AN EMIRATE

IN THE UNITED ARAB EMIRATES.

THAT'S WHAT IT IS.

IT'S RULED BY THIS GUY...

THIS GUY.

UM, AND...

IT SOUNDED--

SHE WAS VERY NICE.

SHE SAID REALLY NICE THINGS.

SHE SAID SHE HAD ACTUALLY

EMAILED ME BEFORE

ABOUT SHOWING MY PREVIOUS

FILM, WHICH IS CALLED

I AM A SEX ADDICT,

AT SOME MIDDLE EASTERN FESTIVAL

OR SOMETHING, AND IT DIDN' WORK OUT FOR SOME REASON.

BUT SO, ANYWAY, THERE

WAS A LETTER THAT HAD THESE

GUIDELINES THAT WERE VERY--

REALLY STRANGE.

PLOT FOR A BIENNIAL

WILL CONSIDER THE PRODUCTION

OF ART AS A:

SUBVERSIVE ACT.

THE VERY QUESTION WAS,

CAN ART BE SUBVERSIVE

AND CAN YOU MAKE

A CULTURAL EVEN FROM WITHIN

AN INSTITUTION,

A STATE INSTITUTION,

AND HAVE IT BE:

TRULY SUBVERSIVE.

AND IT WAS BASICALLY,

YOU KNOW, LIKE,

THEY CALL IT "ART SPEAK,"

YOU KNOW, LIKE IT DOESN' MAKE ANY SENSE.

THIS PLOT PROPOSES TO PLACE

THE ARTIST WITHIN A WEB

OF ETYMOLOGICAL TRACINGS

THAT INTERSEC THE NOTION OF TREASON.

THE KEYWORDS:

THAT WE HAD IDENTIFIED

WERE ALONG THE LINES OF

TREASON,

COLLABORATION AND CONSPIRACY.

SO I WAS TRYING TO THINK

OF AN IDEA THAT, YOU KNOW,

HAD TO DO WITH TREASON OR AR AS A SUBVERSIVE ACT,

AND THOUGH:

MAYBE LIKE KIDNAPPERS,

OR TRYING TO OVERTHROW

THE GOVERNMENT.

AND MAYBE LIKE I WOULD WRITE

SOME FICTIONAL STORY

ABOUT THIS BU:

LIKE AN ACTION:

THING KIND OF LIKE A,

YOU KNOW, LIKE A

STUPID ACTION MOVIE

ABOUT TREASON IN THE

MIDDLE EAST OR SOMETHING.

AND I THOUGHT, "OKAY,

THAT COULD BE KIND OF HARD."

IT'S UNLIKELY THAT I WOULD TURN OUT VERY WELL.

SO THEN I HAD AN IDEA,

WHICH WAS,

"WELL WHY DON'T YOU MAKE A FILM

ABOUT TRYING TO MAKE A FILM?"

AND THEN YOU COULD JUS FILM YOURSELF...

ACTION!

TRYING TO MAKE THE FILM

AND THAT WOULD BE A FILM.

BUT SO, ANYWAY,

I CALLED RASHA ON SKYPE,

AND I REALLY WISH

I HAD RECORDED THAT CALL,

BUT I DIDN'T THINK OF IT.

I SAID, "ARE THERE

ANY CONSTRAINTS," LIKE

"THAT I SHOULD KNOW ABOUT?"

AND SHE SAID, "NO,

YOU'RE TOTALLY FREE

TO DO WHATEVER YOU WANT."

THE REASON WE PICKED

YOU IS BECAUSE WE LIKE

YOUR WORK AND WE REALLY

WANT TO SEE WHAT YOU DO.

WE THINK IT WOULD BE

REALLY INTERESTING JUST TO

SEE WHAT YOU DO.

SO I DIDN'T BELIEVE IT.

LIKE, "REALLY?

NO CONSTRAINTS AT ALL?"

SO I SAID, YOU KNOW, "REALLY?"

AND SHE SAID, "YEAH, REALLY.

THERE'S NO CONSTRAINTS AT ALL."

AND I PRESSED HER BECAUSE I

I JUST DIDN'

A PART OF ME DIDN'T TRUST HER

AND I REALLY WANTED TO KNOW.

SO FINALLY, SHE SAID,

"OKAY, FINE.

NO FRONTAL NUDITY."

I WAS LIKE, "OKAY,

I CAN LIVE WITH THAT.

I THINK I CAN WORK

AROUND THAT."

AND THEN SHE SAID, "OH,

AND ALSO, NO MAKING FUN

OF THE PROPHET MOHAMMED."

AT FIRST, I WAS KIND OF LIKE,

BUT THEN I WAS LIKE,

"OH, WELL, YEAH," LIKE,

YOU DON'T WANT TO END

UP LIKE SALMAN RUSHDIE,

OR AT LEAST I THINK SO.

"OKAY, I'M NOT GOING TO DO

THAT."

AND THEN THE THIRD THING

SHE SAID WAS, AND ALSO,

"NO MAKING FUN OF

THE SHEIK OF SHARJAH."

AND I DON'T KNOW WHY,

BUT, LIKE, THAT JUS REALLY LIKE,

TRIGGERED MY IMAGINATION,

LIKE, IT MADE ME DREAM,

I GUESS.

THE SHEIK OF SHARJAH,

LIKE, WHO IS THAT GUY?

I DIDN'T KNOW THERE

WAS A SHEIK OF SHARJAH.

AND IT WAS JUST SUDDENLY, LIKE,

AND DON'T MAKE FUN OF HIM.

YOU KNOW, SO IT MADE ME REALLY

CURIOUS ABOUT THE SHEIK.

BUT SO, ANYWAY, ONE DAY,

I FIND OUT THAT RASHA

WAS GOING TO BE IN NEW YORK

AND WOULD I LIKE TO

MEET HER FOR LUNCH.

AND AS IT WAS APPROACHING,

I JUST COULDN'T DECIDE

ON WHAT FILM IDEA.

SO I GOT STONED THAT NIGHT,

TRYING TO THINK OF AN IDEA.

BECAUSE USUALLY GETTING

STONED HELPS ME TO--

TO BE CREATIVE.

HOLD ON.

I WAS TRYING TO FIND

LIKE AN ARABIC THEME.

BUT SO, ANYWAY,

ONE IDEA I HAD WAS THAT MAYBE

LIKE BECKETT DISAPPEARS,

LIKE, HE WALKS OFF.

MAYBE HE IS KIDNAPPED.

OH, F***!

OR WHAT IF HE IS KID--

OR IF WE THINK HE IS KIDNAPPED

BUT HE IS NOT REALLY KIDNAPPED?

HE JUST KIND OF WALKED

AWAY AND IS LOST.

BUT WE THINK HE'S KIDNAPPED

OR WE'RE WORRIED THAT HE'S

KIDNAPPED BECAUSE WE'RE

IN THE MIDDLE EAS

AND BECAUSE WE'RE AMERICANS,

AND BECAUSE WE'RE PARANOID

AND WE HAVE PARANOID IMAGES

OF MIDDLE EASTERNERS,

YOU KNOW, THAT KIND OF THING.

OR MAYBE WE SEE ME LOOKING

FOR HIM EVERYWHERE

AND THEN WE SEE MANDY

LOOKING FOR HIM EVERYWHERE

OR THE CREW COULD BE LOOKING

FOR HIM EVERYWHERE.

AND THEN I'M LOOKING

IN THE DESERT LIKE,

IT'S LIKE A

LOOKING FOREVER KIND OF THING

OR DAYS, WEEKS, MONTHS.

SO WHERE WERE WE? OH, YES,

AN IDEA, WHICH WAS

JUST GO THERE:

WITHOUT AN IDEA.

SO I DIDN'T HAVE ONE.

AND JUST, WING IT.

YOU KNOW, IMPROVISE IT,

BECAUSE I DIDN'T KNOW

ANYTHING ABOUT IT.

I HAD NEVER BEEN THERE.

AND THERE WAS VERY

LITTLE I COULD FIND ONLINE.

[NARRATOR]

SHARJAH IS A HOT DESOLATE SPO

ON THE EDGE OF THE

SOUTH ARABIAN DESERT.

TODAY, IT IS RULED OVER

BY A SHEIK WHO IS FRIENDLY

TO THE BRITISH GOVERNMENT.

OR ON YOUTUBE:

OR WHATEVER.

[POP]

SO I WAS GOING TO

MEET RASHA FIRS:

I THOUGHT IF I'M MAKING

THE FILM ABOUT MAKING A FILM,

I MIGHT AS WELL START NOW

AND FILM THE LUNCH.

[CAVEH ZAHEDI CHUCKLES]

UH-HUH, RIGHT.

AND THERE WAS LIKE

A LOT OF SMALL TALK.

I THINK HE OWNS:

A PAWNSHOP NOW OR A...

PAWN.

NO, PAWN.

[MAN]

PAWN, OKAY.

BUT AFTER A WHILE,

YOU KNOW, I SORT OF SAID,

I CAN ASK, BUT TELL ME WHY.

BECAUSE WHEN I ASK,

I HAVE TO EXPLAIN WHY.

[ZAHEDI]

AND I THOUGHT,

MAYBE I SHOULDN'T DO IT.

IF IT BUMS HER OUT, MAYBE

I SHOULD DO SOMETHING ELSE.

I MEAN, I DON'T WAN TO BUM HER OUT.

BUT I COULDN'T THINK

OF ANYTHING ELSE.

I MEAN, I TRIED TO THINK

OF OTHER THINGS, BUT NOTHING

FELT AS GOOD AS THIS IDEA.

I MEAN, IT'S

INTERESTING AND IRONIC

THAT THERE'S THIS KIND

OF LIKE ABSOLUTE FREEDOM,

BUT ALSO, THIS VERY

INVISIBLE SET OF

VERY REAL CONSTRAINTS.

AND SO, TO ME, IT'S

INTERESTING JUST TO TRY TO

LOOK BEHIND THE CURTAIN

OF THAT A LITTLE BIT.

AND THE SHEIK OF SHARJAH

IS LIKE THE WIZARD OF OZ

IN THIS SCENARIO.

AND I DON'T KNOW WHA

WHAT'S BEHIND THE CURTAIN,

BUT I'M CURIOUS.

RIGHT.

RIGHT.

THE END RESULT WOULD

BE THAT YOU WOULD HAVE

TWO FILMS:
ONE, FOR YOURSELF;

AND ONE THAT WOULD BE PUBLICLY,

YOU KNOW, EXHIBITED

AT THE BIENNIAL.

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