The Sighting Page #3

---

What did they look like?

- They were...

I don't know. Listen...

do you have a phone?

- No. Let me help you with that.

Alright.

And...

don't worry, I-i-it's... clean.

It's clean.

- What are those things?

- Sasquatch.

- No.

No, these weren't Sasquatch.

These were... these were people.

They...

they wore fur like clothing.

They weren't...

th-they weren't ape things.

- Yes! Yes!

That's right.

That's right, they're not apes.

What ya been lead to believe

and what is...

...isn't the same.

You saw them.

The Sasquatch.

- How do you know so much?

- Follow me. I'll show you.

We recording?

- All set.

- Thank you.

We are going to discuss

my theory

on the legend of Sasquatch.

Quiet. Quiet.

Alright?

Okay, let's get started.

Okay, you might be wondering

why the press is here today,

and the reason is because I have

a very special announcement

to make.

But first I want to go

over some specific details,

which will lead

to the announcement.

So please follow me if you can,

accordingly.

Okay, in the early 1500s,

a Spanish conquistador

by the name

of Francisco de Coronado

led an expedition

from New Spain,

which is known

as what present-day state?

Going once, going twice,

going three times. Sold!

To me, Dr. Erik Mitas.

For a cookie.

Now, the answer is...

- Boner!

- Texas. The Lone Star State.

But it wasn't America yet,

mind you.

Seor Coronado had heard stories

of the existence of seven cities

overflowing with gold,

located in the unexplored

northern regions

of the continent.

Now, Coronado wanted

to get rich quick,

so he assembled

a team of 300 men

composed mainly of Spanish

soldiers, Native Americans -

and here's where it gets

really interesting -

Spanish slaves.

Now, historical accounts state

that these slaves

were shackled together

at the wrists and the ankles.

Now, this is where

it gets really fun, alright?

For their sentence,

their tongues had been removed.

Cut off.

- Pfft!

- This put them in the same

class with the animals,

leaving them with no speech.

So Coronado took his men

and split them up

into separate groups:

one going up into Canada,

one going

to the Rocky Mountains,

just to save time

and cover more ground.

So something stopped them.

Can anybody tell me what it was?

- Bigfoot!

- No, Todd, it wasn't Bigfoot.

Do not say the "B" word

in this classroom.

The proper term is "sasquatch."

Okay?

And wrong again on the answer.

Sasquatch didn't even exist

at that time.

Winter is the correct answer.

So one group headed east

toward Kansas.

The other group, further north,

had a more severe predicament.

Freezing weather

and a dwindling food supply

brought Coronado

to an extreme decision.

He abandoned the slaves,

and returned empty-handed

to Mexico.

- Sounds like a nice guy.

- It was brutal and cruel.

They were shackled together

in freezing weather

and sure to die.

Here's where my theory

comes into play.

I believe

these slaves didn't die.

Their will to survive

forced them to adapt

to their new environment.

It is well documented

that in that very same year

mysterious predators

began stealing women

from the Salish and Kootenai

Indian tribes.

These predators

became labelled as?

- Bigfoot?

- Todd,

you're pushing your luck.

Sasquatch is the correct term

in this class.

But you are correct

on your answer,

even though

it was the wrong name.

So Sasquatch took

these stolen squaws

and began breeding

and then inbreeding

for nearly 500 years.

Since speech

was no longer relevant to them,

the parents would remove

the tongues of their offspring

in a bizarre

circumcision-like ritual.

Sasquatch, Todd,

is what the tribes

called this creature:

"Wild man of the woods."

This is the exciting part.

This leads me to my very,

very special announcement, okay?

I am taking

a two-year sabbatical

into this very region

to find one of these creatures,

and prove this to the world.

If my theory is proven correct,

I will be written up

in every anthropology textbook

here to come.

I will make my mark in history!

Thank you very much.

Thank you.

Opposite happened.

He never proved anything.

He was a good friend of mine.

He gave me that tape.

He was a good, good man.

Lost all his funding,

his... career.

Everything ruined, everything!

Became a joke

in the anthropology world.

And then one day,

he just... disappeared.

- I think his theory

might be right.

- Nature decided

to give these things a shot.

Gave them

the intelligence of men,

but the instincts of animals,

the ability to reason,

strategize.

But most importantly,

they learned how to stay hidden.

The result:
A neo-human race.

A new branch of humanity

spawning right here

in the caverns

of America's backyard.

- Thanks... thanks for the food,

by the way.

Chris should be here by now.

- You know something?

Your... your friend...

...he... he's gone.

He's dead.

He's dead.

- Why do you say that?

- No one gets out.

You're the only one.

I was wondering, you know...

I always wonder if I rub

this bottle hard enough,

if I could clean

the inside of it.

You need to go out,

find a phone...

...call people, tell people.

- Tell then what?

That... that I was attacked

by Bigfoot?

- Sasquatch.

It's Sasquatch.

- I knew it.

You're the guy in the video.

You're the professor.

You sent us out there.

You knew those things

were waiting for us?

You've been sending people

out there for years,

knowing that those things

are waiting for them!!

- People need to go out there.

They need to find these things.

This needs to be found!

I've spent my whole life...

- My friend is not dead.

- Your friend is dead.

I've seen it over and over...

- My friend is not dead!

You hear me?!

My friend is not dead!

F*** you! F*** you!

- You go.

You...

- Hey, Trav. What, uh...

What's going on, buddy?

- We're leaving.

- There's an old guy

on the floor.

- Leave him. Come on.

- You tell them it's real!

- You have the guns?

- Yeah, they're in the truck.

Trav, could you please tell me

what the f*** is going on?

Where's Nate? Where's the car?

- You have the ammo?

- Trav! Talk to me, now!

- We were attacked, Chris.

Last night your brother

was taken into the woods.

- Attacked? By who?

Attacked by who?

Attacked by who, Travis?!

Jesus Christ!

- Stop it!

Apparently, last night, Chris,

we discovered Sasquatch.

- You guys f***ing with me?

A stripper gonna jump out?

Surprise!

- No.

- Are you serious?

But... Sasquatch doesn't exist.

- They do.

Come on, I'll tell you

everything on the way.

- F*** this.

Home base.

- Home base? That thing?

F***in' Charlie Manson's

abortion clinic.

- Hey, check this out, Chris.

It locks.

That should keep 'em out.

- So...

are these things fast or...

slow?

Can we outrun 'em?

- Let's hope

we won't have to find out.

We should head toward

the mountains, look for caves.

- This thing is useless.

F***ing needle in a haystack.

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes