The Slipper and the Rose: The Story of Cinderella

1

Why do they always

sound so many trumpets?

I'm not Jehovah.

Why can't a prince

come home without a fuss?

Presumably because

he is a prince, sir.

Other people can sneak in

the back way unannounced,

which is how

it should be.

What are you

smiling at?

Oh, was

I smiling, sir?

Just the sudden warmth

cracking my face.

A prince's lot is

nothing more than a bore.

Your face cracks

rather easily, doesn't it?

Now, you mark

my words,

before you

can count to 10,

through that door,

with the odious punctuality

of our neighbor's

much vaunted,

recently invented, hideously

irritating cuckoo clock,

will come our dear

and loyal subject,

the ever-unctuous

lord high Chamberlain.

5, 6...

7!

He's improving.

One of these days,

he's going to achieve

the elusive

10-minute mile.

Ha ha ha ha!

Your royal highness.

Ah, welcome home.

Welcome home,

your royal highness.

My lord high Chamberlain,

what an unexpected

pleasure.

I am commanded by

his majesty the king,

your father,

and her majesty

the queen, your mother--

yes, yes, now,

don't tire yourself,

I am acquainted

with them.

How are my

doting parents?

Their majesties are naturally

most anxious to hear

such glad tidings

I feel sure you bear

concerning your recent

absence from the court.

Namely, the matter

of your acceptance of

and betrothal to the princess

selina of carolsfeld.

Indeed, in anticipation

of such wonderful news,

his majesty the king

has decided to make you

a knight grand cross

of the most illustrious order

of Saint David the martyr.

Which is usually

awarded posthumously.

A suitable honor,

as it happens,

for the matter of my betrothal

is very status quo.

I did not find the lady of

your choice to be my choice.

Oh, but, sir--

we are returned...

As we departed.

The king I'm sure,

and indeed my dear mama

will share

your noticeable grief.

Indeed, sir,

the whole court will be grieved.

Well, so be it.

Any simple peasant is

afforded the ability

in love...

To win or lose

while I of the nobility

am robbed of the facility

to choose

any serf or servant

can by natural selection

elect himself a mate

if she's amenable

but due to my high breeding,

I'm continually acceding

to demands

I find increasingly

untenable

all I ask, and it's a

simple enough request--

well, follow me,

by all means, follow me.

I wish to know,

I demand to know...

Why can't I be

two people?

Why can't I live

two roles?

Why can't one of me perform

all the cloying amenities ti

while the other me,

twin brother me

be a free and happy soul?/

why can't I be

two people?

Split myself right in half

then I could satisfy

and mollify

and pacify and qualify

while the other me

would have

a hell of

a healthy laugh, ha? '11

the custom of royalty

in referring to oneself

is to naturally employ

the royal "we

"we are very happy" si

y, we are very sad I

we are bored

and suffer from ennui"

for a royal prince,

there's no such word as me"

it's always "we

so, rightfully, I

should be two on three

don't you agree?

It's not for me to say,

your royal highness.

Perhaps not.

So, I ask myself...

Why can't I be

two people?

Why can't I play

two parts?

Why can't one of me endure

the appalling formalities

while the other me,

twin brother me

have a free

and happy heart?

If I could be

two people

life would not

pass me by

I'd have a chance

to pick and choose

I'd have a chance

to win or lose

and maybe one of us

would have a chance to live...

Before we die!

Die? Who's died?

Ah! At last!

Our dear son.

We are... we are...

We're what?

Delighted.

Yes, delighted

to see you return.

Oh!

Ah, yes, I have

something for you.

Father...

Your majesty--

kneel, sir.

Father.

I do not wish" it would

be most inappropriate...

Your majesty, his royal

highness has returned--

of course he's returned! You

get more senile every day.

I have returned,

father--

now you' re

catching it.

Empty-handed.

Kneel, sir.

Father, this is

most emibarrassing.

I command you

to kneel, sir!

I don't deserve it.

I haven't earned it.

Nobody earns this.

It's given because I am

the king and I like it.

Where's my sword?

Ah! It's far

too heavy.

You know, I was born with the

curse of the weak wrists.

Oh, I do so love

a ceremony.

Ah, that's better.

I dub thee--

now, wait a minute.

Shouldn't there be

something before that?

Yes, indeed, sire.

I have it here.

Your majesty--father,

do we--must I--

us, or course,

you must. Ahem!

Let it be known

to all here present

that by our command

his royal highness,

the prince

Edward Charles

"Albert George James

Richard Augustus Philip

has received

our gracious favor.

er... who wrote this?

You did, sire.

Ah, yes, well,

it's magnificent stuff.

Well worth

paying attention to.

From this day henceforth

shall be entitled

"to be known as

a knight grand cross

of the most illustrious order of

Saint David the blessed martyr. "

There's... somebody

in the room!

Very fine. Now I kiss

you on both cheeks.

That's the part

I like best.

I sometimes give medals

to a whole regiment.

Good. Very

touching ceremony.

Most touching, sire.

Sycophant!

Don't always have

to agree, you know.

Congratulations,

dear cousin.

Oh, lord!

Who let him in?

Congratulations !

I heard all the trumpets.

Now, don't you start.

Oh! A little

premature, am I?

I say, have I dropped the

tiniest of social brickettes?

I mean, I was being

quite sincere.

Well, you know, as

sincere as I ever am.

Oh, no!

Who is it? Has there been

an uprising?

No, your majesty. It's

just the Duke of montague.

Is he still alive?

I thought we buried him.

Father, ever since

I entered this room,

I've been trying

to tell you that

what you expected of me

did not take place.

My throw, I think.

No, it's not.

You're cheating again.

Kings never cheat. They

adapt to circumstances,

but they never cheat.

If I may, sir,

by roux leave,

this thing

is choking me.

You see how

I'm placed?

Accused in front of the

court by my own wife.

Father,

this is serious.

Of course,

it' s serious.

I shall probably

concede the game.

It's a royal prerogative

to be unsporting.

Never concede.

I throw.

Black 5 !

The match, father, was of

your making not of mine.

Even so,

as a dutiful son,

I journeyed far

beyond our borders

to pay my respects

to the lady and...

See for myself.

And she was fair,

was she not?

Indeed, sir. Perhaps

pale rather than fair.

A sickly lady, sir,

given to much swooning

and... and vapors.

All ladies swoon. They know

it's expected of them.

Some swoon

more than others, sir,

and swooning to excess is not

a quality I greatly admire.

She refused you? Is that

what you're saying?

No, father,

she could not refuse me

because I did not offer.

You perhaps placed

too much trust

in the portrait painters

of carolsfeld.

The likeness

was no likeness.

Indeed, since you force me

to the discourtesy,

the lady was bald, sir.

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