The Steel Helmet Page #3

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on that music box?

Let's not get maudlin, Sergeant.

-I ask you, can you play it?

-Yeah.

-Play it.

-Don't feel like it.

You're lugging that organ around

to play music on, aren't ya?

What are you lugging it around for?

'Cause Father Paul

gave it to me before he died.

Now, don't give me a bad time.

Play it.

Okay, Sergeant.

## ["Auld Lang Syne"]

Where'd you learn how to sing

"Auld Lang Syne"?

-Old who?

-What was that you sang?

You pulling my leg.

You play it. You know it good.

What did you sing?

The Korean national anthem.

You play it good.

Very good.

## [Organ:
"Auld Lang Syne"]

You no like my song, Sergeant?

-What are you doing out here?

-I bring prayer for Baldy to make his hair grow.

Let's have it, Short Round.

Can't do any harm.

Every little bit helps.

What are you rubbing on my head?

Like I said...

earth.

I don't know.

You ain't helping the skull nerves much

by worrying.

Yeah, but -

Relax.

But are you sure?

Just leave it to me.

You want to grow hair,

don't you?

Well, yeah!

Of course.

But are you sure that this -

Listen, if it's good enough

for my mother...

it's good enough for you!

Oh, no.

Oh, no!

Please.

Oh, no.

-Big stuff.

-Yeah.

Sounds like incoming mail.

Hey! What'd you do that for?

What'd you do that for, huh?

-What'd you do that for?

-You were whistling in your sleep.

-You sounded like a shell.

-It ain't my fault I breathe like that.

-What do you want me to do, stop breathin'?

-Ah, blow your nose.

-What's goin'on here?

-Are you all right, Sgt. Zack?

-Why don't you guys shut up!

-Knock it off! Knock it off.

Go on upstairs and relieve that Joe

on the O.P. - What's the matter?

-Something's wrong with my neck.

-Here.

Ow!

Now get your tail up there.

Hey! Are you nuts?

Aw, shut up!

Joe?

Hey, Joe!

Hey, Joe!

Hey, fellas! Lieutenant!

Fellas, hey!

That's the way.

Now you can go in.

Go on.

You're getting paid for it.

Ah, I don't know if it's one guy

or a company of'em.

Twenty-to-one,

they're in Manchuria by now.

There's nobody upstairs,

Lieutenant.

Where's Brownie?

Down in the cellar.

There's nobody outside.

Why don't you look where you're shooting?

I thought I heard something

in here, sir.

-Nothing.

-I get you?

Uh-uh.

Come on, let's go, Short Round.

-Bet he's gone.

-Yeah.

I thought you and Tanaka

made a thorough search of this place.

All right, so we didn't spot him

when we made the recon.

Like I told you before, if I was right all the time,

I'd be wearing bars, Lieutenant.

Short Round, you're a good Buddhist. How come

you don't know nothing about hiding places?

You're not gonna find him standing here.

Spread out

and look for him some more!

Take cover!

He's a prize package, Lieutenant.

A major.

Speaks English.

-Where's the rest of you Russians?

-I'm not Russian. I'm a North Korean communist.

-Buddha-head.

-You alone, Major?

Where's the rest of your men?

You heard the lieutenant. Answer him.

Or do I have to blow your head off?

You won't shoot me, Sergeant.

I heard the S-5 over the transceivers.

Your orders were to bring in a P.W.

You got one.

As you say, a prize package.

I'm too valuable to shoot, Lieutenant.

Hey, Major, you've been around.

Manchuria, huh?

Why not leave the interrogation up to

your friends in the rear, back at regiment?

May I put my hands down now?

Or do I have to ask God?

-Why, you -

-Wait a minute.

Take it easy.

He's mine.

Why, to me he's worth

a furlough in Tokyo.

Maybe even Hawaii.

Look, buster,

we oughta tie your hands behind you...

and throw you on a bonfire.

There ain't nobody gonna touch you.

Like I said, you're a prize package.

Drop your hands.

Bring me another cigar.

Lucky the pin didn't fall out.

If it had, you wouldn't have to

worry about your bald head.

Hey!

Hey, Baldy,

what are you doing down here?

I asked you to stay up there

till you got that fixed.

Yes, sir.

That was real smart, Major,

smashing our communication.

But Baldy's an expert. He'll have

that radio working in nothing flat.

You guys have a bad habit

of starting something you can't finish.

I just don't understand you.

You can't eat with them

unless there's a war.

Even then it's difficult.

Isn't that so?

That's right.

You pay for a ticket, but you even

have to sit in the back of a public bus.

Isn't that so?

That's right.

A hundred years ago

I couldn't even ride a bus.

At least now

I can sit in the back.

Maybe in 50 years...

sit in the middle.

Someday even up front.

There's some things

you just can't rush, buster.

You're a stupid man.

You're the stupid, Joe.

Why don't you get wise, buster?

You're ruining my dressing.

How you doing?

I'll try again.

Dagwood. Dagwood?

Dagwood!

Come in, Dagwood!

Come in!

Come in, Dagwood! Over!

This is Dagwood 2.

What's the matter with you?

I told you to keep this line open.

Are you men asleep on that O. P?

-Let me talk to Driscoll!

-This is Driscoll, sir.

Dagwood Baker,

the line on Stephen Foster's open again.

We had a little accident.

But we have a P.W.,

a major from a crack Manchurian regiment.

Sergeant Zack will bring him in.

Any further instructions?

What's the matter with you?

Why don't you come in?

We're getting nothing but static.

Come in! Come in! Come in!

Ah, it's no use, sir!

We can receive, but we can't send!

We gotta send! Fix it!

You understand? Fix it!

What's the matter with you men?

What's the matter with you men? Over!

-You got the same kind of eyes I have.

-Hmm?

-You got the same kind of-

-I heard you.

So what?

They hate us because of our eyes.

Major, you got a long hike ahead of you

in the morning.

Better get some shut-eye.

Doesn't it make you

feel like a traitor?

For a little guy with a lot

of combat time, Major...

you surprise me.

Don't you guys know

when you're licked?

I surprise you?

They threw Japanese Americans into prison camps

in the last war, didn't they?

Perhaps even your parents.

Perhaps even you.

You rang the bell that time.

They did.

And some of you had to

pass as Filipinos to get a job. I know.

Major, you're getting sloppy

as a con artist.

"Con"? What is "con"?

Eyewash.

Strictly for the birds.

That's you, majordomo -

strictly for the birds.

Ah, you Niseis are incredible.

You make no sense.

If I wasn't in the army

and you weren't a P.W., I'd -

Ah, in our country we have rules,

even about war.

Were you one of those idiots...

who fought in Europe

for your country?

442nd Combat Team.

And you know what?

Over 3,000 of us idiots got the Purple Heart.

You can't figure that out, Major,

can you?

No. That's what I don't understand.

They call you dirty Jap rats,

and yet you fight for them.

-Why?

-I've got some hot infantry news for you.

I'm not a dirty Jap rat.

I'm an American.

And if we get pushed around back home,

well, that's our business.

But we don't like it

when we get pushed around by-

Aw, knock off before I forget

the Articles of War...

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