The Story of Vernon and Irene Castle Page #3

Hello, Vernon.

Hello, Mrs. Castle.

How are the newlyweds?

Well, Vernon, what do you wanna

show me, a bride-and-groom skit?

Mr. Fields, it's a...

...it's a sort of a dance.

- It is a dance.

Since when have you had

dancing ambitions?

- Since he met me.

- Oh. Well, all right, let's look at it.

- Thanks.

- Charlie, put on the front border.

You sit here.

- I hope I don't disappoint you.

- Come on. You know...

...chin up, chest out

and best foot forward.

All right, Walter.

Very nice.

No?

Why not?

Well, now, who's gonna pay money

to see a man dance with his wife?

Look, I'll tell you what I'll do.

I'll give Mrs. Castle a line in the show,

and as for you, Vernon...

...next season I'll hand you

a whole new scene.

- That will be...

- Mr. Fields, what kind of a scene?

Well, I'll tell you.

The idea is that I'm a bricklayer.

- Oh, and I'm your helper.

- Yes.

- You come on with a hat full of bricks.

- And you trip me up.

No, I shove you right in the cement.

- And I'm covered with it.

- You clumsy geek, pick up those bricks.

Oh, I see.

See, he is the one, Papa.

The droll one.

Oh, so droll in the barbershop.

Right back into the cement.

What's the matter?

- I'm sorry, sir, I can't do it.

- What?

Why not?

We're going to dance together.

- Say, whose idea is this?

- Ours.

Well, you know Vernon, as a comedian

you're valuable to me.

But as a dancer... Even two dancers.

- You wouldn't bring in two nickels.

We're sorry, Mr. Fields,

but we think you're wrong.

Maybe I'm wrong,

maybe you're wrong.

Now, don't take it too badly, Mrs. Castle.

We all make mistakes.

See you later, Vernon.

Greenhorn.

Do you think it's true,

what he said?

We can try some other managers.

We want to dance and we're going to.

I wish I knew where.

- Mr. Castle.

- Mr. Castle.

- Mr. Castle.

- Yes.

- I'm Mr. Aubel and this is Emile, my son.

- Oh, how do you do?

My father and I purchased from Mr. Fields

the French rights to The Hen Pecks.

And we reproduce the play

in the Paris next spring.

And we want you for our show.

You want...

Oh, Vernon, darling.

A honeymoon in Paris

and we get paid for it.

- You come?

- Sure, we'll come.

Oh, Walter, I don't know about you.

Walter, goes with us

if it takes our last cent.

Sure.

You think I'll let you two go alone?

Gee, whiz.

Wait a minute, there's the theater.

- There's the theater.

- Hold it.

Turn around. Tell him to turn around.

Back there.

No, no.

Have him wait, Walter.

- No, that's too expensive.

- Whatever, our salary starts any minute.

Hello, Mr. Aubel.

How do you do?

Here we are.

I believe you telephoned our secretary.

Oui, Oui...

I am very sorry...

...but it is so.

- What?

But you told him we were late.

Emile?

No, no. We are late.

Nous, not vous.

- The play is late.

- Au revoir...

...we see you in six weeks.

Vernon, what are we going to do

in the meantime? We haven't any money.

- Wait a minute. Monsieur...

- No, no, let me.

I'm used to this. It's very simple.

Mr. Aubel, could we trouble you

for the usual advance on our salary?

You don't understand. I mean,

we're a little short of cash.

Mr. Aubel.

Please.

For you, madam.

Emile.

You will please sign... A formality.

Wait, this is for eight days'

salary instead of seven.

Interest, you know?

- Like a bank.

- Oh, yes.

- What, is this customary?

- I guess so.

Our country seems so strange to you.

You must not bother about business.

- You are young, and it is Paris, it is spring...

- Papa.

Au revoir, madame.

Zowie, you bad dog. We're so sorry.

I wait.

From now on, we walk.

- Pay him, Walter.

- Take Zowie to that fancy hotel and pack.

We're going to look for a flat.

Bye.

What?

To you.

Well, we got our health, we're young...

...we're in Paris,

we're on our honeymoon...

...what more do we want?

- Nothing.

Oh, look.

- Isn't that a darling Dutch cap?

- Well, we can afford that.

Oh, no.

No, we can't.

- But you want it.

- I told you, I don't want anything but you.

- Mr. Castle.

- Come on, let's hurry.

- Hurry up, hurry up.

- Come on, Zow, come on.

Hurry up, Zowie.

Come on, Zowie.

- Oh, did you hurt yourself?

- Zowie.

Hurry up, hurry up.

- I hope I got the key.

- Get in here, Zowie. Hurry up.

That's it, hurry up.

Mr. Castle.

Where is my money?

For eight weeks you have not paid.

- Where is my money?

- Quiet, if you please.

Quiet, quiet, quiet.

Must we be subjected

to all this brawling?

Pardon, madame.

Let me explain.

But those young people...

I am hoarse from screaming for my rent.

You will have to scream for his rent,

too, if you don't mind your manners.

I've brought him a client...

...who can't stand noise.

- Maggie.

Quiet.

Such a quaint place, isn't it?

Veritable bit of Bohemia.

Really, Maggie,

these obscure geniuses of yours.

- I don't know if they're worth it or not.

- I'm sure this one is.

Of course you're sure.

You get 10 percent of what I pay him.

My nerves are on edge.

- Can't you work faster?

- Faster? Faster...

Maggie, I can't stand it.

Lady Bolton, please, please.

You take your time.

Look.

- Madam, the pose.

- You expect me to pose...

...when we all may be killed

at any instant?

I don't care if he is a genius.

Either this bedlam ceases, or I leave.

Stop it.

Stop it up there.

All right.

We heard you.

Well, at least we can eat.

I'm gonna move out of this place.

- Eat what?

- Oh, what have we here?

Would you carve?

- I'm not hungry.

- Oh, Vernon.

Why don't we get a call from the Aubels?

Why don't they start?

- Maybe we're not in the show.

- You know we are.

Oh, Vernon, you're the optimist. You're

the one that always sees the bright side.

Bright side?

Look.

- Darling, that's all that's left.

- Walter.

Quiet. Quiet.

They've started rehearsals

for the show.

- Started rehearsals?

- That's what it says.

- Repetition commences.

- Why didn't Mr. Aubel let us know?

What's the difference? The show starts,

our salary starts. Come on.

- Walter, where are my dancing shoes?

- In the trunk.

- Oh, no, they're on your feet.

- Oh. Come on, let's go.

Oh, wait a minute.

I can't go until I press my suit.

- You and Walter go, I'll meet you there.

- All right. Hurry.

Hello, Mr. Aubel.

Ah, Monsieur Castle.

Why didn't you tell us rehearsals started?

Did you think we didn't need any?

- But you knew what you have to do.

- Come.

There she is.

- Oh, but you hired us to dance.

- Dance?

No, no, no.

We have the dance.

- Oh, you will be a knockout, Mr. Castle.

- All Paris will laugh.

You are a very funny man.

The whole French nation

You will hear them saying

A real sensation and the people

Will stay till the break of the day

While we are dancing

Well...

...what happened?

False alarm.

Hello, Zowie.

I got myself all pressed up.

You look nice too.

Don't she, Vernon?

Yeah.

What happened?

Well...

Here's a present for you.

Oh, my little Dutch cap.

We didn't have money to buy this.

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