The Strange Name Movie Page #5

Robin Williams,"

and I realized that, okay,

I'm gonna have

a problem with this name.

And I still do,

but it's a good problem,

and I'm proud of that name.

- Well, it's been a lot of fun.

Let's put it that way.

The name is

definitely different.

I got it when I was

about seven years old.

There was a famous

baseball player named

Dusty Rhodes who helped

win the World Series

for, at the time,

the New York Giants.

And I was a scrappy

little tomboy.

My Christian name was Susan.

How boring is that?

- In the mid 90's,

I took all of my employees

to Florida for a week.

When we got to the airport,

security was maxed out and

they were waiting for us.

My secretary ran up to us,

and she said, "These

people are going nuts.

"They think you're

the famous Paul McCartney."

A few minutes later, a big shot

from airport security

looks up and says,

"Ramp way's clear,

Mr. McCartney.

"Your party may now board."

The entire bunch of us

were put right up in

the front of the plane,

and my momma didn't

raise a fool.

I wasn't going to say,

"Excuse me, I paid for coach."

We got to Disney,

and our rooms were upgraded.

I believe the entire

trip was a success

just because of my name.

- I received calls from

a few different casting agents

that were randomly searchin'

for people with unique names.

They offered to pay to

come out to California

to be interviewed,

and we got out there.

And sure enough,

in my hotel

there was an army

of Ronald McDonalds.

So they picked us

up in a long van,

5:
00 in the morning

and start driving.

- [Conductor] All aboard!

- [Ronald] Well, suddenly,

we don't know where we are.

It's an hour out from L.A.,

so we start

thinking, you know,

he could be driving

us into Mexico.

We'd be sold into servitude.

Eventually, we came to

where they were gonna film,

and at that point,

told us that they were

introducing Taco Bell's

new breakfasts,

and it wasn't until

a couple weeks later

that we discovered that

I was in the first commercial.

- My name is Ronald McDonald.

- [Heckler] You're who?!

- I am Ronald McDonald.

- I'm Ronald McDonald, Jr.,

and this is

Ronald McDonald III.

- My name is Ronald McDonald.

- [Interviewer]

What do you think?

- That's really good.

- I was surprised

how good it is.

- I love the new AM Crunch Wrap.

- I'm Ronald McDonald.

- Ronald.

- McDonald.

- [All] I'm Ronald

McDonald and I love

Taco Bell's new breakfast.

- [Narrator] People with

interesting names often

have unlisted phone numbers

to avoid pranksters.

[busy signal drones]

- We used to get all kinds

of calls in the middle

of the night asking

if Igor was home,

or is the Monster there.

And when we answered

the call,

we thought that

people were nuts

and having a party and

drinking and teenagers

just out late

and having a good time.

When Shelley came

up with that book,

that ruined our good name.

That book.

After a while, you

just grin and bear it.

And sometimes you say,

"You stupid so-and-so,"

and... let it go.

- Even though my mother's

name wasn't Ronald McDonald,

they knew I lived there,

so we would get kids calling

late at night, you know,

asking for cheeseburgers.

- [Narrator] Unfortunately,

their understandable wariness

might also extend

to filmmakers

who call them

out of the blue.

[beep tones]

[phone rings]

- Hi, is this a Daniel Doom?

- Hi, is Harold Rude in, please?

- I'm trying to find

Francis Mangina.

- Are you sure it's Mangina?

Can I say Mangeena?

- [Co-Worker] No!

- Your name is very unusual,

and there's a lot of

history behind it.

[exasperated breathing]

[dial tone]

- We had flagged your name.

- This is nerve-wracking.

- Do have any

forwarding information?

- [Recording] If you know

your party's extension,

you may dial at any time.

[recorded wait tunes play]

- All right, you

too. Have a nice day.

- [Narrator] An amazing

discovery we made

is how lightly the Clutzes,

Putzes, and Boggises

of the world wear the so-called

burden of their names.

It seems that like

a lot of problems,

it's only as much of

an issue as you allow it to be.

- I would go on dates,

and put my name in

at a restaurant,

and I would spell

it out C-R-A-Y-P-O,

and one time, the hostess

looked at me and said,

"That's not how you spell it."

I told her, "That's how

you're gonna pronounce it.

"I'm on a first date."

Very close uncle told

me that you will know

when it's time to get married

if they're willing to take

on the last name Crapo.

Then you've got someone

that really cares for you.

- The fact that they

develop a personality

from their name,

I think, is special.

And then that you use it

as a springboard to what's

becoming quick-witted

or socially adaptable

to different situations,

and you gotta deal with

people all the time,

and some people just

like to bust balls.

And are you gonna crumble

in that situation,

or are you gonna be

able to stand strong?

My persona on stage is

kind of a mean, nasty guy,

so people keep

their mouth shut.

Humor's a great weapon.

You really gotta watch out

for these old people driving.

They always have that excuse,

"Well, I mistook the gas

pedal for the brake."

It's not like you're

driving around in a piano.

There's only two

pedals down there.

Pick one, Beethoven.

If you're driving a car,

and it suddenly accelerates

into some people,

try the other pedal.

I mean, how many bodies

have to flip over the hood

before you go,

"Ohh, this isn't the brake"?

- I was teaching inner city

sixth, seventh,

and eighth grade.

And I didn't want to

put that name up there.

So I did not put

Slutsky up there.

For some reason,

I wrote Slotsky.

S-L-O-T-S-K-Y.

And I had no idea that

I was gonna be in that school

for two years as

a permanent substitute.

So I would go down the hall,

and they'd go,

"Hello, Ms. Slotsky,"

and I'd go, "Hello!"

They never found out,

thank goodness,

that my name was Slutsky.

I never would have lived

that one down in that school.

- [Narrator] There's no

doubt that having a name

like Boggis, Crapo, or

Slutsky can be a challenge.

But now let's consider

a worst-case scenario,

one that posed fundamental

and serious questions

of personal identity

and cultural imperialism...

[deep gasp]

while shocking

the sensibilities

of basketball fans from

Wyoming to Saskatchewan.

- My full, full name is,

I'll say it like in Portuguese.

[pronounces name]

If you look at my last name,

you're gonna say,

wow, it's not Fook;

it's F*** because

in my whole life,

I said F*** because

it's F-U-C-K.

But where I come from,

it's not pronounced

like that.

It's Fook or Fookie.

My grandmother's hometown

is called Canoinhas.

Half of the city, pretty much,

people with my last name,

F-U-C-K, live there.

My uncle's insurance company.

The name of the company

is F***'s Insurance.

Basketball changed my life,

and I played from

1999 until now.

I prepared a DVD,

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