The Stratton Story Page #4

are the best-dressed team in baseball.

Ted, warm up.

Stratton won another game yesterday.

Yes, sir. That makes six in a row now.

Three of them were shutouts, too.

Gave them only two hits yesterday.

That's what we sent him down there for,

to get some seasoning.

Ought to be mighty tasty by now.

Excuse me.

- Please.

- I'm sorry.

- Lose something, sir?

- No, no.

- Pardon me.

- Excuse me.

- What are you looking for, sir?

- I'm not looking...

I'm looking for a girl by the name of...

Ethel!

- Quiet, will you?

- Monty.

My feet.

Darling, what... I'm sorry.

What are you doing out here?

Honey, I got a problem.

Will you take your problem

somewhere else?

Yes, sir. Come on.

- Problem? Again?

- Yeah.

- Let's sit down here.

- All right.

I have to catch the 11:00 train for Chicago.

The White Sox have recalled me.

Oh, then everything's worked out fine.

What's your problem?

I can't figure out what to give you

for your birthday next week.

- My birthday?

- I've looked at a whole lot of stuff,

but I just can't seem to be able

to find the right thing.

Oh, Monty, we don't want

to talk about that here.

No, no, no. We got to.

We gotta get it all settled.

Of course,

I know what I'd like you to have.

- Well, why don't you surprise me?

- You may not want it.

- What do you want to give me?

- Me.

That's just what I've always wanted.

Look, bud, you two ain't bad,

but that's better.

Fine. Fine.

Now, remember,

serve it with the coffee, huh?

- Yes, sir. With the coffee.

- Yeah. Yeah.

Well, still dancing, huh?

That Ted's a pretty good dancer, isn't he?

I don't know. I never danced with him.

I hope it doesn't take Ethel as long

to make good with your ma as it did me.

Well, Ethel's a little better shaped

than you are.

I...

Thank you, Ted. I enjoyed it.

Can't figure out, Ethel, how

Country here got himself a girl like you.

Oh, that wasn't easy.

I just wouldn't take no for an answer.

She's pretty, but she's not very smart.

- Here come the Bombers.

- Bombers?

Yeah, a few of the Yankees.

That's them.

- Hello, Ted.

- Hi, Barney.

- Hello.

- Hi.

- Hello, Ted.

- Hello, Bill.

- You know Barney Wile?

- How are you, Barney?

And Monty Stratton?

- How are you?

- Mrs. Stratton, this is Bill Dickey.

How do you do?

- Met you early this season, didn't we?

- Yeah, everything I threw.

- Are you back up with the Sox now?

- That's right.

- Glad to hear it.

- What, are you running short on suits?

- Nice to have met you, Mrs. Stratton.

- Thank you.

- Good luck, Monty.

- Thanks.

So long.

Why, he's nice.

I told you she wasn't very smart.

You just wait

till you see him tomorrow, honey.

They don't call them the Bombers

for nothing.

Some poor guy's gonna

have a rough afternoon.

By the way, who is gonna pitch tomorrow?

You.

Me?

Yeah. A couple of the boys

have sore arms. You'll work.

What do you... Have you unpacked yet?

- Not yet.

- Well, don't.

- Hello. White Sox?

- Yes.

Well, I'm Mrs. Appling, shortstop.

This is Mrs. Piet, third base,

and Mrs. Shea, catcher.

How do you do?

I'm Mrs. Monty Stratton, pitcher.

Come on in.

How do you feel, son?

- Almost as nervous as you are.

- Oh, me? No, I...

Well, this is it.

Give them everything you've got.

All right, Barney.

Play ball!

Nervous?

We're pulling right along with you.

Now batting for Chicago,

number 25, Monty Stratton.

Come on, Monty. Give it to them.

- Lasted a little longer today, Monty.

- Yeah. I'm sticking around.

Hey, there, you Charlie. Cover your boy.

Safe!

Almost what you might call

a one-man team, huh?

He's getting tired.

He'll get out of it all right.

Now batting, number eight, Bill Dickey.

Come on, Monty. Come on, Monty.

Strike.

Strike.

Just one more, boy, just one more.

- You're out!

- Not mad, are you?

Nope. Feel right friendly.

- Loveliest thing I ever read.

- Yeah, I guess we can stay a few days.

Oh, it is too bad

the season's almost over.

Maybe I can manage to win a few more

before it ends.

Listen to this.

"Stratton had the Yankees

eating out of his hand."

Yeah, sort of felt like they were nibbling

on that hand in the ninth inning.

"Stratton got himself out of jams

like a seasoned veteran."

Oh, yeah. Sure make it sound easy.

"Of course, Stratton was helped

considerably by a nearsighted umpire."

What was that?

"The umpire kept seeing home plate

under the ball,

"no matter where Stratton threw it."

And Stratton cut the inside corner!

"When Stratton pitched, the safest place

to stand was on the plate."

Stratton cut the outside corner.

"He was floating them up

like big, white balloons."

Stratton smoked one down the middle.

"And then the infielders..."

Now, now, no, look, how long am I gonna

have to put up with all this abuse?

Oh, about 70, 80 years, I hope.

Ladies, here's one of my favorite recipes

that you won't wanna miss.

Old-fashioned apple pie

like Mother used to make,

with that tasty, crisp, flaky crust...

He's gonna tell me how to make apple pie.

Well, now,

if you'll call off your dog, ma'am,

why, I've got some books here.

Monty! Oh, my!

- How's my girl?

- I didn't know you, Son.

New clothes and all.

Yeah, and this isn't the only thing new.

Here's Ethel.

Hello.

Monty's been writing me about you,

but he don't write as pretty as you look.

Seems to me

you've been running over with luck, Son.

- Sure have.

- Why, you got a new car.

Yeah, I bought myself a bucket of bolts.

- Well, get your things out.

- All right.

- Are you hungry?

- Yeah, sure.

I'd better get busy

and rustle up some dinner.

I'll help you.

She look like that

and know her way around a kitchen, too?

She does all right.

- Oh, Earnie!

- Howdy.

How are you, Earnie?

Ethel, this is my cousin Earnie.

- Hello, Earnie.

- Ma'am.

Hear you're pitching good.

Well, I managed to win a few

before the season ended.

What, you a...

- You a fan now?

- Nope.

Guess you won't be needing me anymore.

Well, I'll tell you, Earnie,

I sort of wish you would stick around

for the winter.

We got a lot of things we can fix up

around here.

We've got to mend the fences

and paint the place up a little

and build one of those nursery rooms.

How about some supper, Grandma?

They're sure hacking away

at Stratton today.

Well, he's gotta lose one sometime.

He's won three in a row,

and the season just started.

Yeah, but he doesn't look right today.

Hey, you forget something?

I've a feeling your mind's not on the game.

Why, I ought to be in Chicago with Ethel.

What are you, a doctor or a pitcher?

I hope she's not having

as tough a time as he is.

Well, this won't happen every day.

Right now, I wouldn't trade him

for any other pitcher in baseball.

Hear, hear.

What a future that boy's got.

Play ball!

Pour it on them, Pop!

It's a boy!

What?

Come on, Pop.

Today you are a man.

If he looks like an umpire, leave home.

Hey! What's going on here?

- Play ball!

- Oh, sure.

Come on, Pop. Put one in here.

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