The Strongest Man in the World Page #5

those security guards. I'm not goin' back on

that scaffold with you. But I know how to work the ropes now. I don't wanna hear

any more about those ropes. Now, let's get that formula

and be quick about it. All right, no problem. It should be right over here. Yeah. The kid was workin'

at this desk today. Let's see here. I thought he put it in

one of these drawers here. - That's funny.

- Funny? What's funny about it? You drag me here

in the middle of the night, almost get me killed on

that stupid scaffold, and all you can say is, "That's funny"? But, boss, it's gotta be here someplace. I could swear the kid put it

in one of these drawers, I'm tellin' ya. Wait a second.

I was washin' that window there. I look through,

I see the kid workin' around here. It's funny. Will you quit sayin' funny

and find that formula! I'll find it, boss. I'll find it. You'd better. It's worth 50,000 bucks. - Now, start lookin'.

- (SNORING) - Shh!

- What? - (SNORING CONTINUES)

- What was that? What? Sounds like somebody snoring. Don't be ridiculous. (SNORING CONTINUES) Hey, maybe they got this joint bugged. You know how those security guys are. They're probably picking up

everything we say right now. That's it. We'd better get outta

here in a hurry, but quietly. But boss, wait a second.

You can't go out there. The place is loaded

with security guards. Cookie, I'm takin' over now. We do it my way. I'm not followin' you

anymore. You're followin' me. Understand? Ah, whatever you say, boss. That's more like it. Come on. (SNORING CONTINUES) - (EXCLAIMS)

- (GASPS) (GRUNTS) (WHISTLE BLOWING) - I told you.

- Oh, shut up. Over here. (WHISTLE BLOWING) - Cookie! Do something, stupid!

- Yeah. (WHISTLE CONTINUES) Wait a second, boss. I got it. (WHISTLE CONTINUES) - Hurry up! Hurry up, will ya!

- I'm hurryin'! - I'll handle the rope this time.

- But, boss... Oh, shut up! (BOTH SCREAMING) (CRASHING) The window. HARRY: Well, you two

really botched things up. I suppose you read this paper? Well, of course we read it.

Everyone in town read it. Including Mr. Krinkle, and he's furious. Well, it looks like

we gotta go back there. What do you mean, "Go back?"

We can't do that. Those security guards'll be around there

like crazy. I don't care what you do,

but get that formula! How are we gonna do that

unless we go... Now, wait a minute. There's only

one way I know of to get that formula. That's out of the head

of the kid who owns it. But boss, I know that kid. He couldn't remember all that stuff if he had the formula

right in front of his face. Well, I'm not so sure about that. Let's pick him up. I know a certain Chinese gentleman who can be a great help

in a case like this. Brutus? Here, boy! (ENGINE STARTS) (BRUTUS BARKING) Brutus? (BARKING CONTINUES) Brutus? (BARKING) Hey, kid, you lookin' for a dog? I sure am. - (LAUGHING)

- Mr. Arno. Well, gee, thanks a lot.

Where did you find him? Oh, he was wandering around

a few blocks down, so we picked him up. His address was on his collar. We were

just taking him there when we saw you. You looked like you were

looking for a dog, so we stopped. That sure was nice of you. You know, I don't care what

anybody says about you, Mr. Arno. Anyone who's that thoughtful about

dogs is a friend of mine. Think nothing about it, kid. - Thanks again.

- That's okay. Good night. Good night. - Aaah! Aaah!

- (BRUTUS BARKING) All right, get in. (GROWLING) Get outta here, ya mutt. Come on, ya mutt! Get outta here! (BARKING CONTINUES) (BARKING CONTINUES) Huh. Schuyler was so worried

about Brutus being lost. Really. You would've known he'd be

home before Schuyler would. (BARKING CONTINUES) Officer Hurley, this is Dean Higgins. I want to report a kidnapping. A kidnapping. It's, uh, Richard Schuyler,

that boy genius from Medfield college. How do you know he's kidnapped? How do I know he's kidnapped? Because he's been out looking for his

dog for three hours. That's how I know. Well, Dean Higgins, a boy looking for

his dog for three hours is not unusual. Well, it is when you consider that the dog has been back

for two hours and 45 minutes. I'm sorry, Dean Higgins, but the department

can't get all ruffled over this. I do have a suggestion to make, though. What's that? Well, if the dog was lost and was able to

find his way home in 15 minutes, why don't you send the

dog out to find the boy and don't bother

the department about it? How's that? I don't like it,

and I don't like your attitude. Let me speak to the chief. I'm sorry, the chief is not available. He is out addressing a Chinese dinner. A Chinese dinner? You mean, with all of these

vicious kidnappings going on, the chief of police of this city

is at a Chinese restaurant stuffing his face with rice and noodles? Yes! Thank you. Thank you. I'm sure I don't need

to tell you gentlemen that I didn't come

down here to Chinatown just to stuff my face

full of rice and noodles. (LAUGHS) Rice and nood... (CLEARS THROAT) Well, I... In any event, they're very tasty.

My compliments to the chef. No, I have more

important things to do than that. I'm down here, gentlemen, to talk to you

on behalf of our police department. SCHUYLER: Honest.

You gotta believe me. I don't know where the formula is, and I

don't know what's in the formula. COOKIE: Boss, I hate to do this,

but I gotta get rough with this kid. Five minutes, I find out. It always works. Honorable sir. I admire your enthusiasm, but this boy can never tell you

what is in the formula, because he thinks he doesn't know. How do you know? I know. You see, stupid? He knows. Now, will you shut up? In order to find truth,

I must put boy in deep sleep. Then he will tell us all he knows. Aw, boss, this guy's

gotta be kiddin'. Come on. Be patient. You will see, my son. "My son"? Where does he get off

calling me his son? - Maybe he likes you.

- Well, I don't like him. He gives me one of those complexions, like maybe I'm not

as smart as he is, or something. He does, eh? I wonder why. Now what's he gonna do? With your permission,

what you Americans call brainwash. Brainwash? Boss, I don't go

for this hocus-pocus stuff. Neither do I. Why don't we just go back

to the old-fashion method, belt the kid around

and get the information? Will you be quiet?

I'm paying Fong to do this. Now will put boy in hypnotic trance. Cause deep sleep. Make patient feel very happy. Very happy's okay,

but what's with that needle there? Must use acupuncture. Fashionable today

among modern Chinese. Mallet, please. This won't hurt, my son. FONG: See? Patient happy. You are very tired, my son. Your eyes are heavy. You will sleep, you will be happy. And you will go into a deep, deep sleep. When I snap my fingers, you will open your eyes, and answer my questions, though you will still be asleep. (SNAPS FINGERS) Hey, would you look at that. FONG: Remember, we are your friends. You shall tell us everything you know. Everything. Right from the beginning. Right from the beginning. Oh, yes. Mary had a little lamb, whose fleece was white as snow. What? Not quite that far back. Tell us about the formula. Do you remember what you put into your strength formula? Oh, yes, I do remember what I put in my strength formula. Proceed, please. Unit consistency,

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