The Strongest Man in the World Page #7

I lost my head. So you think you're number one, huh? - Do you?

- ALL:
Yes! - Do we deserve to be number one?

- ALL:
Yes! We've gotta prove it.

You think we can prove it, men? - You can do it!

- I know, men, I know. I'll... The weights.

No, no, no. They're too easy. The lights! Ah, that would be silly. Ah! I have it.

We all know that Dean Wiggins split that cheap tabletop

of Harriet Crumply's with a karate chop. Can I do less with this? ALL: Perfect! Gentlemen, stand back

and watch out for splinters. Ha! Ooh! Ooh! Ooh, that... Ooh! - Forty-eight five, forty-nine...

- Forty-eight five, forty-nine... - ...forty-nine five...

- ...forty-nine five... - Fifty G's.

- Fifty G's! - Cookie, we're on top again!

- (PHONE RINGS) Good news. That must be him now. Hello. (WHISPERING) It's him. Hello, Mr. Krinkle. How are you? What do you mean, it didn't work? Well, it didn't work! And I can prove it! - I can't believe that.

- Well, believe this. If Medfield wins that weight lifting

contest, we're all gonna be through. Can you imagine those skinny punks

defeating a great team like State? - Why, it's ridiculous!

- Yes, it is ridiculous. Wait a minute. It really is ridiculous. Look, Mr. Krinkle, if the formula doesn't work,

it's all the better. If it doesn't work for us,

it doesn't work for them. It just means

that Harriet Crumply will be destroyed. She'll have a bunch of weaklings

eating her cereal on TV with the formula in it. (LAUGHS) Now, what if the sure winner, the greatest

weight lifting team in America was seen eating Krinkle Crunch

cereal just before the match? What would that do for us

on national TV? Huh? He likes it. Yes, I can handle it. Oh, and Mr. Krinkle? Try and be there. You'll love every minute of it. Love every minute of it. No, no, no. I'll take care of

this until after the match. But why?

I just heard you tell him he had it made. I mean, what could happen? Probably nothing, but you better have

some boys lined up, just in case. Medfield had

the right formula once before. Let's make sure they don't get it again. (SIGHS) I'm tellin' ya, it's gonna be a cinch. You guys saw me when I lifted that real

heavy guy in Dean Higgins's office. - He was like a feather.

- Yeah! And remember the look

on Dean Higgins's face? - Yeah.

- And the basketball backboard? (ALL LAUGHING) I really can't take any credit for it. Schuyler, it's your cereal. It's terrific! The second you guys eat the stuff,

you're gonna feel like giants! Yeah, I can hardly wait

to get that stuff in my stomach! We'll murder those guys!

Come on! Let's go! Well, good afternoon, gentlemen. ALL: Good afternoon. I'm warning you, Higgins. You've been dragging us out to these

foolish events for the last 30 years, and you never had a winner. This is your last chance. I'm sick of it! Sick of... (COUGHING) We're all sick of it, Higgins. Well, uh, gentlemen, Regent Appleby, I think I can assure you,

you won't be sick this afternoon. I'm tellin' you for the last time, you better have a winner! MAN: You can say that again, Appleby. I'm tellin' you

for the last time, Higgins, you better have a winner! (COUGHING) Well, ladies and gentlemen

of TV land, it looks like we're about to begin this

much-publicized match of the century. ANNOUNCER: And now,

sponsored by Aunt Harriet Crumply and her new vitamin-enriched

cereal super formula "X, " we present the Medfield Wildcats! (CHEERING) And sponsored by Horatio Krinkle, and nurtured

by the world-famous Krinkle Krunch, we proudly present

the national champion State team! (CHEERING) You know, on the surface

this does look like a terrible mismatch. Doesn't it, Harry? Yes, but we know better,

don't we, Quigley? Good luck. (WHISTLE BLOWS) I'm not sure whether

we're having a weight lifting match or a cereal-eating contest. (WHISTLE BLOWS) We'll murder those guys!

Let's go get 'em! - Hey, you comin', Dexter?

- Uh... Uh, yeah. I'll be right with you. Is something wrong? Huh? Uh, no. Nothin' at all. Good! I feel great! ANNOUNCER: There will be

a two-minute warm-up before the competition begins. Breathe!

Get up there! Good! Come on! Let's go! - What's the matter, Dexter?

- Plenty. Professor, we got trouble. - The formula doesn't work.

- Doesn't work? Dexter, how can you say it doesn't work?

Look at them. Yeah, look at 'em.

They're just carried away. They're just psyched up, I'm tellin'

you, but they're not any stronger. Schuyler, you didn't

change anything, did ya? - No, I'm sure I didn't.

- It's just not the same. It isn't? Well, gee, I can't understand

what could've gone wrong. It's missing something. No smoke, no nothin'. Dexter, what do you think is wrong? I just don't know. It's... Wait a minute. The acid taste. It had an acid taste before. But a vitamin formula like mine wouldn't

have an acid taste. That's impossible. You're right. A vitamin formula

wouldn't, but mine would. It had a definite acid taste. That day half of my formula

was missing. What day was that? The day all that stuff

got knocked over in the lab. The day the cow gave all the milk. That was the day

before I ate the cereal and got strong. Schuyler, somehow my formula

got mixed up in the cereal. It was my formula that

gave it the strength, not the vitamins. You mean my formula

didn't have anything to do with it? I don't know, Schuyler. All I do know is

that we don't have the right formula now, and if we want to win,

I'd better get the right one in a hurry. Good. I'm glad you're doing something

about it. By all means, get going. ANNOUNCER: Will all

contestants clear the floor, please. - Give me the keys to your car.

- I ran out of gas just as we got here. - How about yours, Professor?

- No. I came over with Dean Higgins. ANNOUNCER:

The first contestant for state... Dean Higgins? ...attempting 250 pounds,

Ambrose Joykowski. (CROWD CHEERING) Arno, this is Harry. You got the guys? Okay. Here's what you do. Dexter Riley is one of our contestants. - Say hello to the nice gentlemen, Dexter.

- Hi. Dean, I need the...

Could I have the keys to your car? One of our better students too.

The keys to the car? Certainly. - (KEYS JINGLING)

- Thanks, Dean. Oh, that Dexter Riley.

Been around here a long time. He's a senior now, but I remember

when he first came to apply. He came to me personally. He said,

"Dean, can I have the keys to your car?" Well, naturally, I said no, because the... The keys to my car! He's got the keys to my car! If that lunatic so much as scratches

one bit of paint on that car, I'll... Uh, nice boy, that Dexter. Nice boy. See him? Nice. Won't be the same when he graduates. (AUDIENCE CHEERING) (BAND PLAYS FANFARE) ANNOUNCER: For Medfield,

attempting 275 pounds, will be Peter "Porky" Peterson. Two hundred seventy-five pounds.

He'll rip that off easy. Yeah. We'll be ahead already. What is that thing?

He's not liftin' weights for us. (COUGHS) Uh, is he? As you in TV land will notice, the Medfield contestant

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes