The Submission of Emma Marx Page #3

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It didn't seem to compute. The possibility of my begging for something I never wanted.

But I wasn't going to over think things.

I wanted to relish in this moment.

Him spoiling me.

Him worshiping me.

He was the perfect balance of pleasure and pain.

And it was intoxicating!

The first few weeks served as a mini-boot camp for sexual deviance ....

...as we both solidified the rules of our relationship.

My bedroom is off-limits.

When you're here you sleep in one of the guest bedrooms.

You wear what I tell you to when I tell you to.

No resistance.

Our weekends begin at noon every other Saturday.

Enter the house and kneel at the front door.

Until you are instructed to do otherwise.

Do not get up no matter how long you're forced to wait.

No matter how long you're forced to wait.

I control your orgasm.

Which means absolutely NO masturbation.

Absolutely no touching my face ever!

You call me Mr. Frederick.

And nothing else. Your coffee Mr. Frederick.

You make me happy.

[keys snap]

And as each week progressed....

So did our individual commitment.

Discovering the pleasure of pain....

...and the sweetness of reward.

He continued to test my limits.

You beg me to.

And my personal boundaries.

I enjoyed the deviance.

And relished in the tenderness!

And before I knew it... I wanted nothing more than to give him everything he desired.

He was right.

I don't believe....I was begging for it!\

Uhhh!

And slowly...my walls began to crumble.

The closer and more connected we became.

And eventually everything came easy.

Like we were free falling.

[foot steps]

I'm ready.

Woo.

[breath catches] Ohh.

Please give it to me!

Please you've been so good.

Do you want it now? Yes please.

I want it! I want it please!

Go ahead and give it to me now please!

Go slow!

Oh please!

Oh thank you.

But like they say...

...nothing worth having...

...ever comes easy.

I really can't decide. I really like teal but Sidney hates teal. Though it really shouldn't matter to anyone but me.

Hey guys.

Teal or no teal for the bridesmaid's dresses?

I thought you weren't trying to make a big deal out of your wedding?

I'm trying not to but everyone else seems to.

Well everyone looks good in teal so just go with teal.

How 'bout magenta?!

Did you see her arms?

No.

She had rope burns all over her wrists!

Rope burns?

Like restraint marks.

I read about it in GQ.

Something about BDSM relationships.

It's where they like tie people up.

...beat them! What?!

Yeah it's this whole underground world of freaky bizarro sex!

Oh my god!

You know the other day when she came home from work...

...she had a big bruise on her ass.

She tried to pretend like it was no big deal!

Huh she's a closet freak!

Should I say something to her?

To be honest I wouldn't worry about it.

You can't reason with freaks.

Judgment had reared its ugly head.

And right when my guard was fully down...

...it suddenly had popped back up.

The only solace I had ever known...

...was with Mr. Frederick.

And as he had always done before....

I hoped that this time he could provide me with some much needed clarity.

I think I'm falling in love with you.

What makes you say that?

I just get this feeling whenever I am with you.

Like I'm finally at peace.

Safe.

I'm glad to hear that.

That's a ... rare thing to feel.

It's just the times I'm not with you that have me worried.

What do you mean?

I mean we're not like normal people!

You know like people that go out on dates and hold hands.

....Fall asleep together.

Do you think people would really accept us with ball gags and duct tape?

Do you really care what other people think?

I'm just trying to understand.

I have no real reference point.

And it's just like...

They don't have relationship experts for people like us!

What are you doing?!

I'd hit a nerve with him.

One that would prove beyond repair.

I want you out of this house!

What?!

Please Mr. Frederick! Wait! Why are you doing this?!

You are not cut out for this!

I don't want you to hate yourself because you are incapable of ending this!

No! I am cut out for this Mr. Frederick!

No! Please!

Everything's just new for me!

Can't I question it?! Can't I wonder?!

Questioning seldom leads anywhere good Emma.

I've been down this road. Let me tell you where it ends!

You will lie awake at night comparing what we have to what other people have.

And you'll convince yourself that there's something wrong with us.

Because we're different.

You can't handle that!

No! No!

I'm doing this for your own benefit not mine!

No! Mr. Frederick please!

Oh!

I'm sorry!

You are not normal Emma!

You're gonna have to figure out a way to deal with that.

I felt guilty for making him doubt my commitment.

And so I did the only thing I could...

...in hopes of salvaging what I feared I had already lost.

No.

I asked him to punish me.

I want you to count out loud!

[Smack]

Count!

One.

[Smack] Two!

[Smack] Three!

[Smack] [Screams]

Red...

The safe word.

Never before uttered.

Now echoed through the entire house.

I was broken.

And trying to come to grips with it all was crippling.

I didn't run from Mr. Frederick that night.

I ran from myself.

I ran from all the fears and judgments that had plagued me my entire life.

I wanted to accept our relationship but my fear of the outside world had paralyzed me.

Emma are you okay?

I couldn't tell Nadia the truth.

She would never understand it anyways.

Nobody could.

I couldn't.

Two days later I resigned from my job.

I knew there was no way I could ever make heads or tails of the situation without any distance.

And just as he'd promised...

He didn't try to stop me.

Good luck to you Emma.

Goodbye Mr. Frederick.

It took a while but...

...Finally I found a new job working for one of the female executives I'd interviewed for my thesis.

And in my free time I helped my sister with her wedding.

Trying to keep my mind off the heartache.

Spending a ridiculous amount of time working on her seating chart.

And watching her wedding plans turn from reasonable to full-blown addictions.

The thoughts of Mr. Frederick were always there.

Lingering beneath the surface.

It was an empty feeling that I couldn't escape from.

Whether in the company of others...

...or completely alone.

Would happiness always elude me?

You're glowing.

Am I?

Yeah.

This is the best day in my life.

Sorry that I...

...wasn't more supportive earlier on.

It's okay.

A lot of people weren't.

Life's about being happy.

Nobody can define that happiness for me but me.

You're absolutely right.

After spending months anguishing over everything that had come to pass...

...clarity somehow found me.

Nadia had found the person she wanted to share her life with...

...why should I deny myself the same thing.

Even if what I wanted was different from everyone else.

Did I need the rest of the world's validation?

Or did I need mine?

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