The Sweeter Side of Life Page #3

No, ma'am, it's not.

You worked hard here today.

The place looks nice.

Thanks.

Is your brother gonna be

coming back tomorrow?

Nah.

I'm sorry to hear that.

Yeah. Do you think maybe Paddy

would let me fill in for him?

I can make deliveries before

school and come back at 3:00.

I could do that for y'all,

if you want.

Plus, m-m-my family

could really use the money.

I think my dad

would be okay with that.

Yeah? Thanks.

- See you tomorrow.

- Yeah.

- Later, Mr. P.

- Good night, Calvin.

Hey, Dad, about Calvin...

- Oh, yeah, he's a good kid, isn't he?

- Yeah, I like him.

Whoa!

Paddy,

we gotta call that guy to fix the register.

It's popping open again.

Desiree, he lost the last hand,

so Dino has to cook dinner.

You're in luck. You know

I make a mean meatball. Hmm?

Oh, yeah, I know.

What game's playing?

The Sox. The Red Sox and the Yankees.

- You got a bet on 'em?

- No betting.

I already owe you a spaghetti.

Oh, it's hit deep to center!

It's going, it's going,

it's gone!

Let's get up and move

Dad!

- Morning.

- Morning.

I just killed my blow dryer.

Your what?

How am I supposed

to straighten my hair?

Have you seen the dress

I was wearing when I got here?

I washed it for you.

Here it is,

hot out of the dryer.

- The dryer?

- Yeah.

Oops.

Oh, no, no!

My Missoni!

Maybe we could

wet it, you know, and stretch it back out.

It's not a sea monkey!

It doesn't expand

when you add water!

What am I gonna do now?

I have a meeting with Wade

in two hours,

and I have nothing to wear!

Don't be ridiculous.

You got a whole closet

full of clothes.

Oh!

I know you think

I'm falling apart

But you rock my heart

Girl, you rock my heart

I know I should

be ready to go

But you rock my heart

You keep on

rockin' my heart

Just imagine

We could make up

and start our life over

This time I would

hold you in my arms

Till the stars

melted into the ocean

But I'll promise

I'll never look up

- Desiree?

- Ohh...

Lana.

Wow. I almost

didn't recognize you.

What happened?

Retro.

Okay. Well, can I just say

the '80s have come and gone.

Twice.

I was just in a meeting

with my business manager,

and he was telling me

all this drama.

Is it true? You and Wade

are really getting divorced?

I don't know.

It's a nightmare.

- I could use a lunch with the girls.

- Sure, honey.

Where are you staying?

The St. Regis?

New Jersey.

What?

I had nowhere else to go.

Remember?

Oh, yeah. This whole situation

has gotten really tricky,

'cause Wade and I run

in the same social circles,

and he's a member

of my country club and, you know,

but it's like

I've really got to run

'cause I'm late

for my, uh, my facial.

So, bye.

So, lunch this weekend?

Sure. Yeah.

We'll call you.

Bye.

Hi. How can I help you?

Desiree?

Oh. Hi, Wade.

You look... different.

Are you all right?

Sort of.

I've regained my sanity

since the last time I saw you.

Oh.

Sorry about the tie grabbing.

No. It was

completely my fault.

Actually, I'm really pleased that we

had a chance to meet before we go in.

I just wanted to tell you

how sorry I am and that I really hope-

Wade.

Sorry to keep you waiting.

Saul Blinderman.

This is my junior associate,

Nicole Hoffman.

This way, please.

Uh, but my lawyer

isn't here yet.

The receptionist will show him in.

This meeting should be brief since there

is a clear-cut prenuptial agreement

which was signed

willingly by both-

I'm sorry I'm late.

Ah.

Eddie, are you okay?

Yeah, yeah, I'm fine, I'm fine.

I had a little

cracked tooth back here.

The dentist gave me

a little something.

I feel much better now.

You change your hair?

Mr. Rubinsky,

may we continue, please?

Yeah, sure.

Go ahead.

The prenuptial agreement

clearly states

that Mrs. Harper is only entitled to the

monetary sum and personal belongings

that she entered

into the marriage with.

But it precludes the creation of any

community property after the marriage began-

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Bla bla bla.

Excuse me?

Eddie...

Get it together.

We need to reschedule this

for another time.

That doesn't work for us.

Mr. Harper would like

to conclude this as quickly as possible.

I don't understand.

What's the big rush?

Olive is pregnant.

That was exhilarating!

Exhilarating?

Are you cracked?

My husband is pregnant

with another woman!

Hi. That's right!

Yeah, it's bad.

But it's good for you

in a whole new monetary way.

- Are you kidding?

- Oh! What? What?

Desi, hey! Desi!

What's the problem?

Oh, Giorgio!

Jimmy!

Louis. Oh!

I hate to break it to you,

but we're moving to Jersey.

Damn!

Hmph!

What?

Nothin'.

Those are cute, that's all.

They are, aren't they?

Vvvvv!

Vvvvv!

Sir, please don't touch that.

I'm not touching it.

That's what's so incomprehensible.

See? Vvvvv!

- Vvvvv!

- Step away from the planet, sir!

Vvvvv!

It's a little snug.

Oh, trust me, Tamika,

once you lose the bulletproof

vest and let out that side seam,

it's fabulous.

You think so?

Are you sure?

It never fit me right, anyway.

Now for the shoes.

Don't sit.

Don't touch!

Can I look?

Eddie?

Yeah?

- You okay?

- Yeah.

I'm going.

Me, too.

Oh, Officer,

if you ever need a lawyer,

please, call me.

Wow.

It's time to go, ma'am.

Bye. Thank you.

You are gonna be fine.

Yeah?

This is your life.

Get used to it.

Hmm.

Miss you, Mom.

Let's bake.

Dad's right. Baking does

make you feel better.

Holy moley!

It's the Bride of Chucky.

Uh! This isn't working!

I am not a baker!

My housekeeper buys

my bread at Zabar's!

Whoa.

Would you look at that.

Good morning.

Morning!

Morning, Calvin.

I got wheels, Mr. P.

I'm ready to roll.

Ho!

We saw. Very pink.

That's my sister's, man!

I want the fruity one.

I pointed to it first.

Where's Desiree?

Changing.

For three hours?

Man, I need a spa day.

How you feeling?

Just fine.

Can you wrap these cannolis?

It's what I live for, Dino.

There she is.

- The one that left her husband?

- No!

He left her.

He's a successful doctor.

What a shame. She looks

like such a nice girl.

It's gonna be tough

for a woman her age

to find a new husband

with that kind of annual income.

Practically impossible.

I can hear you.

Maybe she should go

on the Internet.

My cousin's daughter

found a nice rabbi on there.

She'd be better off

in a bar. Mm-hmm.

Well, if I were her,

I'd get on my hands and knees

and beg that handsome doctor

to please take her back.

That's it!

I am not going anywhere.

You hear me?

Not to a bar,

not on the Internet,

and, heaven forbid,

not on my knees

to beg my sneaky, cheating

husband to take me back.

So in case any of you

missed the story of my life,

yes, my husband is having a baby

with his acupuncturist.

No, I don't need a man

for his annual income,

and maybe, if God has any mercy,

you will all get over it

and find something else to talk about!

I think she lost it.

Uh... who's next?

Me?

What would you like?

That was certainly different.

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes