The Swindle Page #5

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some vicious plan.

Frankly, I think this guy's a fool

and fools are often vicious.

Would you stop going on about him

and be a gracious winner.

- We're leaving tomorrow.

- Why not tonight?

There are no flights until tomorrow.

What's come over you?

It just occurred to me that

Maurice might've pulled a fast one.

Maybe he conned both of us

from the start.

What do you mean?

What if his attach case

contains the entire collection

of Archie comics?

That's an amusing idea.

If it's true,

he has my compliments.

But we won't know

until we open the attach case.

- One more reason to get back fast.

- You never thought of that!

It seems highly unlikely.

He seems like such a fool.

Would you stop that!

Sorry to disturb you.

- Miss Sissi Petrovna?

- Yes?

Mr. Biagini sent us to get you.

That's very kind of him,

but I've changed my plans

and unfortunately can't accept

Mr. Biagini's charming invitation.

Maurice is an old friend.

He'll understand.

No, he won't understand.

He won't understand.

If she doesn't feel like it,

she doesn't have to go.

I suppose, sir,

you're Colonel Victor?

That's correct.

You've also been invited, Colonel.

I'm not interested.

You have no choice, Colonel.

Please understand,

it's a pressing invitation.

I see. But please,

don't do anything rash.

If you come along,

we'll simply accompany you.

Fine.

Why don't we go into your bungalow?

- We don't want to make a scene.

- I understand.

Would you kindly follow me?

Naturally, we'll accompany you

wherever you like,

but for pity's sake...

It's my pleasure.

Please don't get me wrong.

I'll keep this within easy reach.

I forgot.

You'll need the attach case.

The attach case?

You mean my bag.

Don't toy with me.

The attach case!

What attach case?

Be reasonable, Colonel.

Don't touch her!

I'll give you the attach case!

Here, fair lady. Apply pressure,

and it'll merely be a bad memory.

Thank you.

Ah, there it is!

Let's go.

We've idled long enough.

Terribly sorry,

the cool night air

doesn't agree with me.

May I?

- The car's right in front.

- How considerate.

I was about to say so.

Our friends have finally arrived.

Everything went well?

No difficulties?

- Not really.

- I'm delighted!

Miss Petrovna...

that name suits you.

And Colonel... Victor, isn't it?

I'm Mr. K., your host,

because this house

belongs to me, in a way.

Please, take a seat.

Pardon me,

but your invitation came to us

in a rather cavalier manner.

Yes, no doubt...

Do you have the attach case?

Perfect.

Put it on the table. We'll take

care of it in a few minutes.

Sit down, I said!

I adore Tosca.

Especially this recording.

Do you know it?

Mirella Freni, Placido Domingo...

and Sinopoli conducting.

It's intensely dramatic,

which suits my taste.

Don't you agree?

We'll have to see.

You're a clever man.

I appreciate that.

Miss Petrovna. I suppose

you're impatient

to see your friend Maurice.

Yes, I am.

You're clever too.

I'm a lucky man.

Your friend Maurice

is in the bathroom.

If you'd like to go and say hello,

I'm sure he'd be happy to see you.

I'll take your word for it.

Perfect.

Gilbert,

would you take

Miss Petrovna to Maurice?

I can take her if you want...

No. Gilbert!

Would you like me to come?

Colonel, please

it would be in poor taste.

No, Colonel. Thank you.

She's charming.

He's in here.

Don't move.

Sit down my child.

Have a drink to lift your spirits.

They drink rum here like you drink

French cognac in Cognac.

We had to take serious measures.

It grieves me to say it,

but times are hard.

You don't look sorry at all.

You're feeling better.

Our friend Sissi

has come back down to earth.

We were forced

to eliminate poor Maurice.

They killed him, Victor.

They plunged a spike into his eye

and pierced his brain.

Why did you do that?

It was hardly a pleasure,

as you can well imagine.

But he was so dishonest

and exceptionally stupid.

The fool tried to rip us off

for five million Swiss francs.

He worked twelve years for us.

He made good money.

We're not cheap.

What got into him?

He really blew a fuse.

Now the jerk won't have to worry

about any more short circuits,

that a**hole.

Yvon! Put the end of Tosca

on again. Please.

You mean the attach case

I had in my closet contained

five million Swiss francs?

You didn't know?

Do you think I would've lounged

on a deck chair waiting for you?

I won't delude myself

about the depth of human stupidity.

I swear I'm not that stupid.

Then why switch the attach cases?

It was a joke.

I thought it was funny

to pretend to switch cases

and that he'd end up

giving me his.

I knew there was money

in the attach case

because he told Sissi.

I mean, we knew

he was making a transfer of funds

but not five million Swiss francs!

Does that seem

a large sum of money?

Enough to take off with the money

and not hang around.

You're not ashamed of yourself,

Colonel?

You know I'm no colonel.

My highest rank

was a chief corporal.

I'm a small time con artist.

Sissi and I lead a quiet life

on the fringe of society.

We're humble

and well aware of our limits.

We've never tried

to step out of our league.

You're scared shitless.

Put yourself in my place.

I wouldn't like to do that.

Perhaps you're wrong

to be so afraid.

We're not cruel

for the pleasure of it.

Maurice's case is very unusual.

His behavior was inexcusable

and so stupid.

To think we trusted him enough

not to keep an eye on him.

And choosing the lions den

as a hideout.

Naturally the lion was waiting,

ready to strike.

Do you follow, Victor?

You, perfectly.

It's him I don't understand.

A fool, my dear friend, a fool.

He thought nobody was here.

The little brains he had,

he used to plan the trip.

I'm sorry to tell you this, Sissi,

but he was using you

to protect himself.

He thought

if you transported the money,

as soon as there were

any sign of trouble,

he'd drop you like a hot potato

and save his own miserable hide.

In the end he was a bastard,

as well as a fool.

Yes, it's quite sad.

You should've seen his face

when he found out

you switched cases on him.

He repeatedly tried the combinations

to no avail.

He was sweating bullets.

It was pitiful.

You don't have much pity.

No, it's true.

But put yourself in my place.

We had to blow off the locks.

All that for some old newspapers.

A year's wont of the Figaro.

Excellent newspaper,

but I prefer the Swiss money.

That's why I was forced

to take radical measures with him.

Our Board of Directors would never

have tolerated

any sort of indulgence.

Your Board of Directors gives you

free reign with your methods.

That's not their problem,

it's mine.

And I took

no pleasure in it.

I had to make him talk.

And he talked

without much coaxing.

The spike in the eye

worked like a charm.

He told us everything.

Everything!

About Sissi, about you.

He told us about his life,

the life of his parents,

his sister, his little nephews.

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