The Taming of the Scoundrel Page #3

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Stupid and rude!

Scoundrel!

Whats the name of the hotel?

- Hotel Corona.

- I cant even find the yellow pages!

Here they are.

Walking or biking!

Theyll pick me up.

- You can go biking!

The sooner I leave this place, the better!

- I cant stay one minute more!

Who does he thinks he is?

Your suitcase is ready.

- Hotel Corona...

- Heres the number, 72010.

- Is this yours?

- Yes, it is.

TELEPHONE RINGING

Hallo? Speaking to Hotel Corona?

- No, this is a gas station.

- Can I book a room? - This is a

gas station. Need gas?

- A single with bathroom.

- Need water for the battery?

- Not even a double?

- Need gas?

I understand, youre full.

It doesnt matter. Thanks

Ill report to the Tourism Department!

F***!

What can I do now? Is there another hotel

on top of the mountain somewhere?

Or can I have the honor

to sleep in the stable?

Fine, you can stay.

But only for tonight.

- If you were not 40 I would spank you.

- Why?

You go to bed early, I dont.

Where can I go?

Its only 10 pm.

- Thats true, its early.

SHUT UP! Play something.

Is there a theatre? - Yes, there is.

- Fine!- It is open only on thursday.

- Is there a place to listen at some music?

- Its closed.

If you want some music,

Mamie plays much better than Casadei.

- Isnt that true, Mamie?

- Thats true.

- Theres nothing to do here!

- You can look at Ganimede. - A friend of yours?

Its the third satellite of Jupiter.

- How funny...!

It is situated between Europe and Callisto.

It was discovered by Galileo.

Lets go on the roof.

Maybe we will see it.

- Ganimede is very shiny.

I am not interested in astronomy.

- Lets watch some TV.

- I dont have a TV. - Yes, you do.

Theres a TV upstairs.

- I can have a look, but I know there isnt.

- There it is! - This one?

Ive always used it as a stool.

I use to sit here and count.

- Lets go!

I think Ganimede was a better idea.

MUSIC FROM TV:

I like comedies a lot.

Arent they funny?

No, they arent.

Look whats happening!

Did you see how he fall?

Look! Isnt that funny?

- Im sorry for him.

- Somebody falling is comic!

Hes hurt!

How can you cry,

This is the basis of humor!

Its mathematic. The banana peel

and a well dressed man.

The man slips on the banana peel,

falls and that should makes you laugh.

You dont laugh.

- No. - You dont like comedies,

you dont like to laugh.

You dont like anything!

- No.

- Bye.

Bye.

FALLING NOISE:

Ouch!

Ouch!

- Are you hurt?

- Yes, a lot!

Are you laughing?

You said when somebody gets hurt,

people should laugh.

Are you really hurt?

Shes hurt!

I will help you. Carefully.

Put your hand here.

Thats it.

Weve arrived.

- What are you doing?

- I like your ears.

Time to sleep.

Goodnight.

Goodnight.

BANGS:

Elia, did you repair Miss Lisas car?

One moment!

DOG WHINING:

What?

ENGINE NOISE:

DOOR KNOCKING:

- What time is it?

- Its very late. Its 7am.

- The sun is shining and the car is fixed.

- Good morning, Elia.

Good morning. Or better, goodbye.

I am going to work.

- See you when Ill go to Milan.

- When? - In a couple of years.

- Ouch!

- Whats up?

My foot hurts.

Its because I fell yesterday.

I think its swollen.

- Ouch!

- Does it hurt here? - Yes, it does.

- And here?

- Ouch!

Here too?

- Yes. - Get off.

Ill try to walk.

Ouch!

I cant walk.

What a terrible pain!

Im sorry to create trouble,

but I cant leave.

Ill call the veterinary.

- Dont! I know myself.

Ive already sprained once.

Two days at rest and it will go away.

- Why dont you stay with me for a while?

- Im busy.

- Wherere you going? - At Ernestos place.

- He has pneumonia!

- Did I ask you how is he doing?

- No, you didnt.

The door!

The shoes!

The window!

- Are you making a call? - I am.

- Without asking fro permission? - Nope.

Fine.

TELEPHONE RINGING

TELEPHONE RINGING

Hallo. Hallo! Whos speaking?

The window!

The shoes! The door!

Did you read what they think about you?

That person is not you!

ENGINE NOISE:

What are you doing? Are you crazy? Stop!

Stop! Where are we going?

Put me down!

You are crazy!

Stop!

Stop!

Take this!

Idiot! Stupid!

Stop!

Put me down!

Damn! I hate you!

Stop!

DIALOGUE:

Bastard! Stupid!

Selfish!

Who do you think you are?

If you want to go to Hotel Corona,

you should know its close for restoration!

Thats a real woman!

And she smells nice!

- What do you want? Shes cute.

Barbarian!

Impertinent!

Brute!

Monster!

Son of a b*tch!

Stupid!

Silly!

Mentally handicapped!

Stronzo! - Are you talking to me?

- What do you want? Gas!

I am such a stupid!

Ill give him a lesson!

And the gas?

Last night they though I was a porter.

Today she insults me and runs away.

Not a good day. Closed.

Do you want to tell me a vulgar joke?

PIG GRUNTS:

You are such a pork.

Something wrong?

You hit me!

That was the bucket.

You are so stupid, so coarse, so rogue!

And what else?

- You are so arrogant.

- I got it, you are in love with me.

- Who, me?

Are you or not? Which is your affirmative answer?

- Well... Yes, I am.

- Just a small detail.

- Which one? - I am not in love with you.

- Its the buckets fault!

Thats incredible!

What? - How many times I told to a man...

.. what you just told me.

- Well?

I was not in love and Ive said it many times.

I would never believe it could happen to me.

- Dont get angry.

- I am not angry, I am smiling.

When the bird in the cages smiles,

then hes angry.

Birds dont smile, they sing.

- It depends...

If you tell him a nice story...

Once there was a bird...

- Goodbye.

Goodbye?

- I am leaving.

- What do you think?

What do YOU think!

It would have been a mistake,

a wrong choice.

How do you know?

A woman like you, living between

Milan, Portofino, CORTONA.

- Cortina!

- Right...

A woman like you cant fall in love

with a farmer.

You could not resist one week

with the chickens and the pigs.

Stop guessing what I might think!

I would like it a lot, on the contrary.

Its a hard life. You must always work.

No parties.

Let me try. - No kidding!

- Let me stay and pay you back.

Yes or not?

Which is your affirmative answer?

- You are more stubborn than a mule.

- Finally you give me a compliment!

Well? - You are hired until Monday.

- Why Monday?

- Because on Monday I am going to Bruxelles.

- But today is Saturday!

- But its still almost noon.

- Fine.

MUSIC:

MAMIE SINGS:

- Mamie!

I made it!

- What did you do?

- Elia told me I can stay.

Thats a miracle!

- Lisa, Where are you? - In Rovignano.

- Still there?

- I found a job.

- You? - I am a farmer.

- Are you feeling well?

- Yes, I am.

Its so nice here with the trees,

the pigs and the chickens.

You never cared about countryside!

Tell me, is there any problem?

I can leave my work for one day and be with you.

- No, everything is ok.

- I just want to stay alone and think.

- Bullshit! - What?

When you finish to think you just give me a call!

Flowers, fantasy.

Today is a happy day.

Colors all over!

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