The Target Page #3

---

the tests. I don't care.

- And the discounts?

- I don't buy expensive things.

Do you know what I am?

An "Anxious Marine Pilot".

- And I'm a "Fisherman"!

- Sometimes they get it right.

Listen, how does this thing work?

I'm no astrophysicist,

but I think these are layers.

Of graphite, I believe.

I don't get what this

cosmic radiation is.

What does this Target accumulate?

It's Chi.

Prana. Primal energy.

The energy of the void.

Now all of you will fall asleep.

When you wake up,

you'll be itching to laugh.

The well - the forty-eighth

hexagram of the "I-Ching".

"The town may change,

but the well can not.

It neither decreases

nor increases.

You come and go,

but the well remains a well.

If you run out of rope, or break

the jug, it brings - misfortune."

So far, I don't think

we've broken any jugs.

And what is this?

- It's Tihkeybow.

- What?

Tihkeybow, like it says

on the jar.

It's regular Tihkeybow,

only a bit watery.

Cold Tihkeybow.

Is this local coffee?

No, it's a very popular coffee.

Tihkeybow! Never tried it.

Me either.

I can show you the jar.

Tihkeybow isn't a brand of coffee,

it's an adjective.

Why am I so tihkeybowey?

- We might die laughing!

- People very rarely die here.

Last time was twelve years ago.

Vitya Semenov drank a bottle of

vodka, drove a car, and hit a rock.

- And what?

- He died.

Take me with you.

Where?

To Moscow. I have

some business there.

Zoya?

Wonderful! Of course we'll take

you. The flight will be more fun.

- Now it's my turn.

- Pay Vitalik, he's over there.

Fifty for the well,

and seven for the coffee.

All together, fifty-seven.

You owe me three thousand.

I don't have change.

Go look for it. We gave some

to that driver of yours.

- I don't want to break a sweat.

- Go break a sweat.

You break a sweat.

Sorry, old man, something...

Everyone has a stressful life.

Listen, why don't you all

get out of here?

What for?

We've got everything.

Like what?

Well... food... a place to live,

some money.

And we're healthier than

all of you put together.

Zoya, look!

Look!

I only felt this way once before

as a child in Crimea, in Sudak.

It was pouring,

then the clouds seemed

to split open,

and a shaft of light

burst through.

Just like this. It's a miracle!

Right on my mom and I.

Mom broke into tears of joy

and suddenly

she started reciting

a poem by Lermontov:

"Alone I set out on the road;

The flinty path sparkles in the mist;

The night is still.

The desert harks to God.

And star with star converses.

The sky is solemn and miraculous!"

Miraculous and solemn...

Let's never part.

What a beautiful column of light.

Russia's such a beautiful country.

- Let's at least have some coffee.

- Alright, let's drink some coffee.

Champagne! Pineapples in champagne!

Deliriously tasty,

sparkling and bright!

I'm in something from Norway!

I'm in something from Spain!

Pineapples in champagne!

Pineapples in champagne!

From Moscow to Nagasaki!

From New York to Mars!

- To our love.

- To love.

- Russia's a beautiful country.

- Here it is, a new happiness.

- Vitya, let Taya stay with us.

- Everything will be tihkeybow.

How are you?

- You seem to be...

- What?

- Not yourself.

- I'm yours, Vitya, yours.

You know what my dream is?

To be the worst of bums,

I would be...

...a nobody.

An absolute nobody.

I'd wallow in the dirt,

like the worst of dogs.

And you'd come to me.

To no one but me.

And that's all.

I don't need anything else.

Nothing at all.

I'd probably die.

There's a long story

that goes with that Target.

I'd forgotten it,

but later it came back.

I was about twelve,

we were living in Volgograd,

on the bank of the Volga.

Our roof needed repairs,

so my father hired a man.

A very strange man.

He moved in with us

and worked on the roof.

He was a very young guy.

Somehow my parents instantly

fell crazy in love with him.

They took care of him

like he was their son.

It drove me totally mad.

One day, there was a party around

the table for my dad's birthday.

The guy was sitting

next to my mother.

I was learning guitar

and I sang a song I'd prepared.

But I sang it badly and

goofed off to spite my parents

because they loved

that outsider so much.

I swung my guitar

and broke a jar of juice.

Mother sent me away

from the table.

I sat in my room and

listened to them talk.

That guy told them

he was forty-two.

He served at a secret facility

with this dish.

He had climbed in there

with some girl and that was it.

He had stopped aging and had

already done time in prison.

Then he suddenly vanished

before he finished the roof.

I didn't remember it until this

journalist told be about that place.

So I believed it right away.

And you?

I learned about it at

a resort in Belokurikha.

I go there every year

for treatment.

When I was young, I had a rare

illness

called glass bone disease.

It's a metabolic disorder

that follows the flu.

For almost seven years

I sat at home.

I learned Chinese.

But I lost a piece of my life.

Lost it beyond recovery.

That's why I believed it

right away.

So I saved up money.

There you have it.

I still don't understand

why you went there.

Well, I'd gotten old somehow.

Very quickly.

I'm old. I live alone.

I can't wake up together with

someone in the same bed.

It makes me sick to my stomach.

I hate people.

I disdain them.

I only love...

I only love...

"Chinese for Dummies"

Before we start the next chapter,

I suggest we share

a cup of Chinese tea.

And then, as Lao Tzu said,

"Tian di xiang he yi xiang gan lu

min mo zhi ling er zi jun."

Oh no, again with

the electric ovens.

It's nothing but these

electric ovens lately.

Who needs them?

What can you bake in them?

- Hello, Zoya.

- Hello, Nikolai.

I have a feeling you and I

are thinking about the same thing.

Could be. What are you

thinking about?

I'm thinking about you.

And what are you thinking?

I'm thinking, "When?"

In principle,

I'm free this afternoon.

- I have a great idea.

- Tell me.

- Better it be a surprise.

- Agreed.

Tell me, what are

you doing right now?

Why, can't you see?

I'm on the veranda, reading,

and drinking tea.

May I ask you not to turn off

your cell phone?

I'll drive and look at you.

Of course it will distract my

reading, but if you really want it...

I really want it!

Nikolai, we've spotted three

semis. We can peel one off.

- Are they insured with us?

- No, with Lloyd's.

- Got something to ram them with?

- We've got an empty one.

- I'll be right over.

- Where are you?

I'm at 532.

That's 120 kilometers.

That's OK, I'll make it

in 40 minutes.

Have one of our guys

ram them over to the shoulder.

But make sure their truck

can still run.

Don't do a thing without me.

And treat them properly.

- What's in there?

- Ovens, Nikolai!

- Ovens won't do.

- I'm kidding. Memory chips.

Memory will do. I can dump

them in half an hour.

You need an invoice.

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes