The Target Page #5

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just not into the woods.

Or it will be like last week.

Look.

- What do you see?

- The red rock is turning blue.

Right, it means

the evil is infectious.

We don't want our kids to curse us

for our ethical insanity, do we?

The main idea of the project is...

...that we should mine only the good,

only the useful minerals.

This way we will turn our country

into a source of positive energy.

These goggles are my gift to you.

I hope we'll continue

discussing this topic further.

Nothing bad ever happens to me.

I'm unsinkable.

Really?

Once I was on an An-22 flying from

Chita after a bridge had collapsed.

We'd taken a sauna, drank, and

then drank some more on the plane.

And I bet this guy, Golosov,

I could land that plane.

I bet him a thoroughbred stallion.

I sat behind the wheel.

The pilot was next to me for help.

It was the first time I ever took

the controls of a beast like that.

And I landed it!

There was no need for

that pilot at all.

- That's what I am.

- A lucky bastard!

A lucky bastard.

CONNECTING...

ZOYA IS UNAVAILABLE

- Vanshan hao, Viktor Georgivich!

- Ni hao.

- We agreed to continue.

- I can't. My hand is blue.

- I don't understand.

- It's hard to explain.

Pavlenko, you brought

your wife again?

Why not? She likes it.

Aim and fire! It's automatic!

And it's like this

at least once a week.

I really want it.

Right now?

Yes. Right now.

- Where?

- Right here.

Get up.

That's all, it's affixed.

So really, how old are you?

Fifty-two.

- No.

- Fifty-two years old.

And when did you stop?

- At nineteen.

- And we'll stop, too?

You already did.

Already?

So, that means there's no death?

I don't know.

I won't die, right?

And I won't die?

- It's a little scary!

- And a little hairy!

- A scary hare!

- Yeah, a soft little hare.

Hoppity Hare.

Hoppity-hop! Hoppity-hop!

Well, where is she?

Taya! Taya!

Well, she fell behind.

Stop! Don't go anywhere.

Everything she says is a lie.

Where is that dummy?

- Here she is.

- My buckle broke.

My God! Why are you here?

Who are you?

I'm nobody.

Why are you nobody?

Because everything in me

was blown away.

Everything, and it's good.

How can I explain...

It's like there's a cork inside.

Unless you're hollow,

you can burst after the Target.

And I'm empty. And that's very

good, because it's... pure.

Natasha, you answered

the last question wonderfully.

It's the final stretch.

The two super dishes are almost ready.

What remains to be done?

To add prunes and ail.

- You mean garlic?

- Yes, I forgot the word.

Crushed garlic!

Pardon me, I'm salivating.

For a long time you've been away

from your native land and cuisine.

Why did you choose

a Russian-Ukrainian dish?

- I just remembered Grandma's recipe.

- Isn't that fabulous?

This is something more

than a show of patriotism.

Olga, you went for a complex dish

from the French cuisine.

How many times have you been to France?

I've been to Paris twice.

Unfortunately, not too long.

The French oyster bliss

didn't last long.

Once the poet's wife,

desperate from poverty, cried out,

"Osip, I'm unhappy!"

The great Osip Mandelstam replied,

"Why should you be?"

Today, I'd like to ask this

very difficult question to you.

Is it true that all people

have the right to be happy?

Natasha, you're 25, a beautiful

star with a charming boyfriend.

Last year you made $4,500,000.

You're ranked No 4 by the WTA.

But there are many people who work

with their legs no less than you.

Many women pluck chickens 8 hours

a shift and live much worse off.

And they don't buy Bentleys

for their boyfriends.

And so, why's Natasha happier than

some girl from a chicken farm?

Mitya, I don't give a hoot

about the other girl.

What has the chicken-plucking girl

got to do with this?

In the Duma we can contribute

to her happiness

by passing a law, but no one will

take responsibility for her happiness.

Olga, you are so magnanimous

and indulgent, too.

But while she stands at a conveyor,

you sit on your butt in the Duma.

You've been to Paris, and she's

never even left her village.

Look at Natalia. She's a star!

Here's HER CHARMING boyfriend!

The happy owner of a Bentley!

And here's your husband.

There's envy in your eyes.

You envy her.

And the whole world envies her!

Sally Graham envies her, Christina

Boyle does, I envy her, and so do

our viewers!

She's got more rights to be happy

than you do, though you worry

about the happiness of others, while she

worries only about her muscles.

Yes, I do worry about my muscles,

because they tear sometimes.

Yes, I am happy,

and yes, I do make a lot of money.

I don't care about your losers on

the farm. And I don't eat chicken.

So you are a winner,

and all others are losers.

- And I don't give a damn about them!

- Am I jealous of Natasha's happiness?

I'm never jealous.

I am happy in my way, I have

a great husband, wonderful children,

a fantastic job and loyal friends.

It's my own happiness!

I don't need any billions of millions!

And why must the girl on the farm

be unhappy?

She's happier than we are!

Why are you stuck on that chicken

farm? I'll never be there.

I don't care about it!

I was, I am, and will be happy!

There can be no simple answer

to that question!

- Our goal is to make...

- The dishes are ready!

everybody in our country happy.

They have the right to be!

And we'll never know

if everyone has that right to be happy.

Now I'll really get

my tongue working!

And judging by

the dazzling look of your borscht

I'll do it with great pleasure.

Natasha Sokolova has made

a Ukrainian borscht,

Olga Bek made a lobster souffle.

Different dishes and cuisines.

Different forms and content.

White and red, hot and cold,

spicy and mild,

melting and burning.

Great! Here it is, the unifying

Eurasian taste. Burning, yet tolerable!

Before your very eyes,

a real meeting of East and West.

This souffle-borscht is a symbol

of the new world order!

I am holding happiness!

I am happy!

I wish to share my happiness

with all of you.

We all shall be happy, taste it!

Souffle-borscht is happiness!

What did I cook this for?!

Next week in our kitchen we'll

talk about freedom of conscience

and a conscience of freedom!

Happiness for everyone!

And for you! And for you!

Mitya, what the f*** have you made?

A souffle-borscht, Andriusha.

Souffle-borscht.

- Are you high or something?

- No, he's not high.

No. It wasn't planned.

It was impromptu.

No, Yevgeny Borisovitch, it was...

You know, I've started

feeling good in some way.

Not just good, but somehow

unexpectedly peaceful.

But what's strangest is that

inside I've been waiting for this.

I've begun feeling

terribly peaceful.

Terribly good.

So good that it's bad.

Something's coming,

but from the other side.

I can see it all very clearly now.

Myself, you, and us.

And far off.

I've gotten carried away.

You asked why I never had kids.

For some reason

it didn't work out.

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