The Teahouse of the August Moon Page #4

Thank you.

That's wooden sandal, boss,

very comfortable for tired feet.

He say may you walk in prosperity.

You tell him that I will walk in the

cool meadow of pleasant memories.

- What's the matter? Is that all right?

- Oh, boss, that's very pretty, boss.

Thank you. That's all right.

Thank you very much.

- And, boss, here Miss Higa Jiga.

- Hi.

She unmarried lady, boss.

She give you three eggs.

Isn't that nice?

Yes... No, tell her that I'll have

these eggs for breakfast.

You tell her.

Yeah, yeah.

Chicken and the eggs, huh?

She hope you gonna enjoy

your turtle egg, boss.

- Turtle eggs? Oh, my.

- Yes.

Oh, you very big success, boss.

They sure like you already.

Oh, I'm... Yes. Turtle eggs?

- This Mr. Oshira, boss.

- Hold these for me, Sakini.

I'm getting a bit too much.

He give you a very nice

lacquered cup, boss.

He make that cup hisself.

No, he didn't.

Well, you thank him for me...

...and tell him that I'll be forever indebted

to him for his very lovely gift.

You are most welcome, captain.

Hey, you speak English.

Sure, boss, Mr. Oshira teach me

English when I'm a little boy in Tobiki.

- How do you like...?

- In my youth, I work in Manila.

How is Mr. McKinley?

Oh, you mean President McKinley?

Well, I'm afraid somebody shot him.

- I am sorry.

- Well, it was a long time ago, you know.

Yes, a long time.

May August moon fill your cup.

Why an August moon, sir?

All moons good, but August

moon little older, little wiser.

Is it...? Sakini said that you

made this cup all by yourself.

- Oh, yes.

- You know that this is a lost art, Sakini.

This is an industry we could start

right here, right now in Tobiki.

- Think you could mass-produce these?

- Mass-produce?

Yes, you know, set up machines,

turn them out by the gross.

I take pride in making

one cup at a time, captain.

How many do you think

you could turn out in, oh, say, one day?

If I work hard,

maybe one or two a week.

Fine, that's good,

you make as many as you can.

We'll send them up

to the Post Exchange.

And sell them as fast

as you can turn them out.

I shall do my best.

Fine. We're in business. Now, Mr. Hokaida,

you make those cricket cages...

...and the getas, fine,

we can sell a lot of those.

And the chopsticks, great.

A lot of those.

And I saw some straw hats.

See those straw hats? Make a lot of those.

We're going into

the souvenir business, folks.

We gonna make money, boss?

Make enough of these,

I'll guarantee recovery...

...of Tobiki village. You tell them that.

Oh, boss, you very big success.

They sure like you already, boss.

And they say they will make

everything fast as dickens.

Sakini, ask them to postpone

any more gifts for now.

I wanna tell them

what we're going to do for them.

Okay.

What?

Okay. They say okay, boss. They got

no more presents for you anyhow.

It's important that I tell them

about the schoolhouse...

...that we'll build for their children.

Now, according to plan B, I believe it says

the direct approach is the most effective.

- So you ready?

- Oh, all set, boss.

Do you want to be ignorant?

- What? What was that?

- They say yes, boss.

Yes? You mean they

want to be ignorant?

Oh, no, boss. Oh, in Japanese, boss,

yes mean no.

They say, "Yes, we not

want to be ignorant."

Oh, I see.

Do you want your children

to be ignorant?

Now, what was that?

They say no, boss.

No? Wait a minute now.

Sakini, no, they do? Or no, they don't?

Yes, boss. They not want

no ignorant children.

Right. Now...

...there's gonna be a daily issue

of rice for everybody here.

Yes, yes. And we're gonna build

a fine new schoolhouse...

...for your children.

Wait. Pentagon-shaped.

Pentagon.

Pentagon.

She say, "What is a pentagon?"

Boss, they never hear before.

They've never heard of the Pentagon?

- No, boss.

- They certainly do need a school here.

Pentagon. Everybody knows

what the Pentagon is.

The P... It's...

Well, it really means

five-sided, you know, Sakini.

- Five-sided?

- Yes, it has five si...

They say... Boss, they say there are no

children in Tobiki got the five sides.

No, no, the school.

The school has five sides,

not the children. I mean, not in re...

No, you see, it's like a building

in Washington, folks.

And everybody is gonna

learn about democracy.

They say, "What is a democracy?" boss.

They know what rice is.

Yes, all right. Democracy is a

system of self-determination.

It's the... It's the right

to make the wrong choice.

Wait a minute, we're not

getting through to them.

Let me explain it this way.

Suppose I'm back home and I don't like

the way that Uncle Sam is treating me.

Well, do you know what I can do?

I can write to the president himself,

and I can tell him so.

They say, "But do you send

that letter?" boss.

- Let's get on with the lecture now.

- Okay.

Now we'll show you

how democracy really operates.

We'll hold an election.

We're gonna organize this village.

- Is the mayor here?

- Here's the mayor. White coat.

We'll have to get him a new coat.

We wouldn't want a new mayor.

Keep the mayor.

Very hard to find a white coat.

We got the mayor.

Now we need a chief of police.

And a chief of agriculture. Now who'd

make a good chief of agriculture here?

They say they like Mr. Seiko.

He the best man for the job.

- He's an experienced farmer?

- He artist, boss.

- What?

- He artist. He draw lovely picture...

...of golden wheat, butterfly...

Sakini, just because he draws

a very nice picture of wheat...

...that doesn't make him

an experienced wheat farmer.

Wheat not grow here anyhow,

just sweet potatoes.

All right. Well, if he's their choice. Fine.

Now, we're gonna have to have...

- What did he say?

- He want a white coat like mayor, boss.

You said that we can't get... That's all right.

If we don't get a white coat...

You know what we'll do? We'll get him

a helmet, and have written on the helmet:

"Chief of agriculture."

Now... Right, fine.

Now, we need a chief of police.

Now, who'd make a good chief

of police?

Hokaida, boss. They say they like

Mr. Hokaida. He champion wrestler.

- They afraid of him.

- Yeah.

- That's all right.

- Strong, boss.

Yes, indeed. All right, Fine.

Now we gotta... What?

- What'd he say?

- He want a helmet.

Oh, fine, sure, we'll requisition

a helmet for him too.

All right? Fine. Now for the ladies.

Now, we're gonna organize...

...a... I know what it is...

...it's a Ladies League

for Democratic Action...

...and we're gonna have to

have a league president.

Now, who'd make

a good league president...

...for the Ladies League

for Democratic Action?

The ladies like that.

They never vote before.

Fine.

Higa Jiga. They say they want Higa Jiga.

She gonna make a classy president.

I'm sure.

What?

Yes, I know. No, never mind.

I understand.

Tell her I'll get her a helmet too.

Yeah, all right, fine.

Yes, fine, all right. Fine. Now, now.

I've been talking a long time.

Folks, I'll bet you there are questions

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