The Texas Rangers Page #2

What's the matter with you?

You daffy?

Get up on that seat

and be ready to throw down

that express box.

Who, me?

No, sir, the only time

I was ever Iate

was when one of my mules

threw a shoe.

Don't start nothing now.

Get in that stagecoach

and sit tight.

I'II explain to you Iater.

You'II explain nothing.

Get up on that seat.

That man up there,

riding with me...

Hey, driver, you've watered

those mules Iong enough.

Let's get moving.

Yes, sir. Yes, sir.

Right away. Yes, sir.

I'II have you

in Junction City in

no time at all, my friend.

Come right in here.

AII aboard, folks.

Wait a minute. I ain't riding

in this shoe box.

$3.60, right to the penny.

Get in. Get in.

Come on, boys.

Get going.

What a day!

What a day, neighbor,

just to be alive.

I feel so good

I think I'II sing a song.

Would you Iike

to hear me sing?

I don't care for music.

It's your Ioss, my friend.

I think I'II sing anyway.

(SINGING OH SUSANNA)

Come on there, Jasper!

Bang!

Leave the gentleman's gun be!

Mustn't touch things

Iike that.

MAN:
Put up your hands!

(GUN FIRING)

That's what I was trying

to tell you. Texas Rangers.

Texas Rangers, huh?

If that's

the way they work,

I'm gonna stay clear of 'em.

They got

no sense of humor.

I motion we adjourn

to the nearest saloon

and talk over

this episode at Iength.

I second the motion.

JIM AND WAHOO:

Therefore, as a member

of the Ranger Force of Texas,

I do solemnly swear...

To make the peace

and preserve Iaw and order.

BOTH:
To make the peace

and preserve Iaw and order.

To the best

of my ability.

BOTH:

To the best of my ability.

AII this to the end

that the State of Texas

may be a safe place

in which to Iive.

BOTH:
AII this to the end

that the State of Texas

may be a safe place

in which to Iive.

So help me God.

Well?

BOTH:
So help me God.

Sign right here.

We don't ask

too many questions

when a man joins the Rangers.

Courage, a good head

and a better aim,

that's about all

that's required.

Those men died

with their boots on,

not for the small wage

they receive,

but for an ideal,

the determination to make

this state a civilized place

in which to Iive,

and so, Hawkins, Jones,

you enter into a service

which holds a fine heritage.

If you're worth

two hoops in Hades,

it'II bring it out of you.

If you're not,

it'II bring that out, too.

Fair enough.

Oh, here's

some regulations you boys

better be Iooking over.

That's all, boys.

Hiya, Ranger.

He doesn't know it yet,

but he's got a couple

of star boarders

for the rest of his Iife,

the old buzzard.

Look, hard head, there's

a Iot more to this job than

40 bucks a month and chuck,

a Iot more.

You tell me.

I'm all ears.

I can't tell you just yet.

I gotta figure it out first,

but Iisten,

there ain't a game

in this world

that wasn't made to be beat

if you're dealing the cards.

AII right, my proud beauty,

when you get around to it,

deal me in, will you?

Meantime, I'II take

these rules and regulations

and put 'em

next to my heart.

Don't Iet it

worry you, son.

"Rangers are instructed

to return all stolen cattle

to their rightful owner.

"When a Ranger

is assigned to protect

a shipment of gold..."

And hen I meet a stagecoach

How happy I would feel

How happy I would feel

How happy I would feel

Hey, boy, put a Iittle

sow butter in them beans.

I'm kind of hungry today.

"To make Texas a safe place

to Iive in."

What's the matter, Ranger?

What are you so happy about?

Hey, Walrus,

did you ever see this one?

Fake Iow, catch you

with the backhand.

Never misses.

Oh, boy! A hammock!

Say, I think

I'II take me a nap.

Call me

when dinner's ready, friend.

In my time,

you had to be a man

to join the Rangers.

Hey, anybody home?

Just want to use the hammock.

Rules and regulations.

I never had no pocket change

I thought that hardly fair

Way up on the highway

I met a stagecoach there

Peeking!

Hey, you new men,

get your horses.

We're going out.

Who? Me?

Yes, both of you.

Where you going?

We ain't ate yet.

Never mind that.

Mount your horses.

I ain't been here

for five minutes,

and he wants

to go out riding.

We've been riding for days.

Oh, the big mallet head!

Wants to become a Ranger!

You certainly get

some great ideas.

Texas Rangers.

You're still a Iittle punchy

from bouncing around

on those stagecoaches.

Oh, yeah?

Hold it!

The Major figures

that the rustlers

will try to cross the river

between Del Rio on the north

and Eagle Pass on the south.

Johnson.

Yes, boss.

McBride.

Coming.

You'II take the north cut

to Del Rio.

Introduce yourselves

to Marshal Bill Gree.

Adams, we suspect

the Hamblin

Iand-and-cattle company.

Pick up all

the information possible.

Right, captain.

Peters.

Yes, sir.

Lee.

Yeah.

Ditson.

Yeah.

Stake the country

between Comado

and Pinto Creek.

We will, boss.

Yes, sir.

Hawkins and Jones,

you'II patrol the river

from Comado South,

a distance of 20 miles.

Yes, sir.

Rodriguez. Come with me.

Bien, Capitn,

Throw up your hat.

I want to get in

a couple of wing shots.

Throw up your own hat.

I'm not gonna get

sunstroke for you.

I don't know why they sent

you along anyway. I can handle

all them rustlers myself.

Ha! I'II nail

more rustlers than you.

Bet you two bits.

I'II take that bet.

Want to pay me now?

I wouldn't pay you

even if I had two bits.

(SHUSHING)

(MEN SHOUTING)

(CATTLE MOOING)

I'II bet you

if I shot right...

Take it easy.

You want to stampede

them cows?

I was only fooling.

I got a better idea.

I'II circle them and come in

on the other side.

You go down

and head 'em off

at the river.

That ain't

such a good idea.

You're in the back.

I'm down front where

they can shoot at me. Oh, no.

AII right, I'II head 'em off,

and you circle 'em.

AII right.

Wait a minute.

Why should anyone

want to head 'em off?

Them fellows got a right

to make a Iiving, ain't they?

Guess that's right.

My pappy always told me

to Iove your neighbor.

Right now

I'm the friendliest man

in the world.

That's right.

It's a pretty spot,

ain't it?

Yeah.

Hey, wait a minute.

Hurry up!

We haven't got all day!

Yeah!

(BOTH WHOOPING)

Head 'em off there!

What's the matter with...

Sammy!

Jim! Wahoo!

Where have you been?

Why, you old son of a...

Hey, Iet go of me!

(ALL LAUGHING)

Can't you two be glad

to see a guy without

breaking his neck?

No!

Let go of me.

Sam, don't tell me

you're in charge

of those steers.

Why, sure...

That reminds me. I gotta

get 'em across the river.

Come on, give me a hand.

Sure, we'II give you a hand.

(SINGING IN SPANISH)

Ain't she a honey?

What'd I tell you?

Ain't she everything

I told you?

You're just crazy

about your Iittle Sammy,

ain't you, darling?

I guess you're the head man

of this outfit.

More power to you.

Thanks.

Listen, we can get

1,000 heads together

in no time.

This country is crawling

with cattle. What do you say?

What's the matter?

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