The Thin Man Goes Home

What about Asta? He'll have to go in

the baggage car, won't he?

Why should he have

any special privileges?

- He'll ride with us and like it.

- But those are the rules, aren't they?

Well, we'll camouflage him

under your coat.

Out of sight, out of mind.

It's a cinch.

Two to Sycamore Springs, please.

- Nick. Asta. Catch him.

- Here, you get them. Asta.

Asta. Asta.

Excuse me.

Asta.

All right, come on.

Here, here, what's going on?

Nick Charles.

- Hi, Clancy.

- Nick, I'm surprised at you.

I thought you could handle the stuff.

- I tripped. I was chasing my dog.

- Oh, sure.

Clancy, I've had nothing

but a swig of cider all day.

- Nicky, are you hurt?

- I think he hurt his head, Mrs. Charles.

- He's saying he's only been drinking cider.

- And it's true.

He's going down to visit his folks,

they don't like drinking.

Now, let's get down to the train

and get comfortable.

- Camouflage, you know.

- Oh, yes.

Thanks, Clancy.

Pardon me.

It's cozy, isn't it?

That's French for "bottoms up."

- Tickets, please.

- Nicky...

...do you really like cider?

Like it? I love it. Why, just the pure,

natural juice of the apple.

- What could be better, for instance?

- A dry martini, for instance.

That horrible stuff. Almost took

the lining off my stomach.

Why do you care? It didn't show.

- Good gracious!

- What's the matter?

- Nicky.

- Blockbuster.

Upsy-daisy.

- Tickets, please.

- You know, mammy, I don't think...

...you're taking this reform movement

of mine very seriously.

Not very.

You just wait. A couple of weeks

on this cider, and I'll be a new man.

Well, I sort of liked the old one.

That's the nicest thing

you've said to me...

...since I got my head caught

in that cuspidor at the Waldorf.

That wasn't the Waldorf.

That was the Astor.

- Asta?

- Astor.

All animals must go in the baggage car.

That's not an animal,

that's my fur coat.

If it can wag its tail,

it goes in the baggage car.

So it was going to be a cinch, eh?

Very well.

Credit me with an error.

Hey. Hey, mister.

When you pass the kitchen

will you ask the chef to warm this up?

I don't dance, bub.

Body temperature.

Good grief. Are you on milk now?

I'm warming this up for a friend.

I beg your pardon.

Why, if it isn't Nick Charles.

Where did you drop in from?

You sure are a sight for sore eyes.

- Hi, Brogan.

- Cut off my legs and call me Shorty.

- Small world, ain't it?

- Ain't it?

- Ain't it. Where you going?

- We're off on a little vacation.

- Sycamore Springs.

- I get it. I get it. I'll play dummy.

You're on the wrong horse, Brogan.

This is Mrs. Charles.

Oh, sure, sure.

How do you do, Mrs. Charles?

- What are you doing these days?

- Traveling in postcards.

- Pardon?

- Postcards. Postcards. Seasonal greetings.

Say, I cover Sycamore Springs.

I'll look you up on the way back.

That will be nice.

- Well, so long.

- So long.

Nick, how am I doing?

Swell. But stick close to me

in Sycamore Springs.

Right. How's my postcard chatter?

All right. But look, don't those greeting

cards have some poems or mottoes?

- I think so.

- Yeah.

- Memorize a few.

- You mean, like:

Roses are red, violets are blue

A happy birthday's what I'm wishing you

Yes, that's it. Roughly.

I get it.

"Willa Wanna."

Desdemona, Minnetonka, Nipiwana.

How far is that baggage car anyway?

Oh, I imagine it's somewhere between

Pocahontas and Sitting Bull.

Well.

- Any suggestions?

- Make like an eel, mama.

More people.

Oh, I'm sorry.

Oh, my cigar.

- And that was my last one too.

- Excuse me.

- Would you please let me pass?

- Why should I?

Well. How'd you like to be married

to that type?

Oh, excuse me.

- My word.

- I'm so sorry.

Why don't you look where you're going?

Darling, are you sure you're rubbing

these people the right way?

The blockbuster.

- What the...?

- It was him.

That was my foot!

My foot!

- Will you please let us through?

- Well!

Oh, certainly.

Make way for this lady

and her baby.

Make way, she wants

to get to the dining car.

Make way for the mother. Follow me.

Bad strategy, Asta.

You forgot to protect your rear flank.

Nicky.

I still don't understand what

gave you this sudden desire...

...to go back to Sycamore Springs

after all these years.

Well, it'll make a nice vacation,

won't it?

A chance to see Mother, Dad.

I'll bet they're anxious to see you,

and not just the family.

Whole town will probably turn out.

After all,

you are the local boy who made good.

Now, darling, come, come.

Oh, don't be so modest, Nicky.

Won't it feel good to get a pat

on the back from your old man?

A pat on the back?

What would I do with it?

Don't kid me. If your father

gave you a pat on the back...

...you'd pop your vest buttons

all over the parlor rug.

You just don't know my vest buttons.

Look.

Darling, see it?

The old windmill.

It's still there.

When I was a little punk,

that was my secret hideaway.

Good heavens. What secrets were you

hiding in those days?

Corn silk, detective stories and... Look.

Right there was

the little old schoolhouse.

Once on Halloween,

I burned it down slightly.

That must have handed

your father a big laugh.

Yes, he just roared all the way

to the woodshed with me.

Nicky...

...you never got along,

you and your father, did you?

Never got along? I wonder whatever

gave you that impression.

Oh, he's never come

to see us in New York.

Well, he's pretty busy, you know.

Of course, there is one other little thing.

- He thinks I play too hard.

- Indeed?

And drink too hard.

Wonder whatever

gave him that impression.

Sycamore Springs. This is you, folks.

Well. We're very much obliged to you.

- Buy yourself a little smoke.

- Thanks, but...

- Compliments of the pup.

- Spitz?

No, just growls.

That's funny.

- Wonder if they got my letter.

- Of course they did.

There's your reception committee.

It's Crazy Mary.

She's a town character.

- Hello, Mary. Remember me?

- Yes. Nick Charles.

Yes, that's right. Darling, this is Mary.

- Hello, Mary.

- My wife.

Poor woman. Where's the baby?

I heard you had a baby.

- All aboard!

- Baby.

Baby. Baby.

What's he gonna do now?

I don't know.

Desdemona.

That's Crazy Nick.

He was always like that.

Asta. No.

Let's surprise them, huh, sweet?

- It's a surprise.

- The doctor isn't in.

- No?

- But you can go to Dr. Clayworth.

He's just down the street.

- Is Mrs. Charles in?

- She's in the kitchen.

- What's cooking, Ma?

- Oh, just making a little tea.

- Nick. Nick, my darling!

- Hiya, Ma.

Oh, how wonderful that

you could get here for your birthday.

- Wasn't it?

- Nora.

- Hello, dear.

- Darling.

What a lovely suit. Why didn't you

tell me you were coming?

- Didn't Dad get my letter?

- Why, no.

He didn't say anything to me

about it.

Wait a moment. That's what

he must have meant...

...when he said there'd

be two extra for dinner.

Oh, your father. Where's Junior?

We didn't wanna take him out of school.

He's in kindergarten, loves it.

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