The Thirteenth Guest Page #3

later you're going to take a ride with

me where to my apartment she'd be safer

in jail don't worry she won't get away I

didn't mean that I said she'd be safer

in jail and humane go to the devil

mr. Adams two bits in why my dear child

why I'm almost afraid to touch you what

is the meaning of all this why I'll have

to send back that cutaway I ordered for

your funeral you wear those to wedding

is not funerals

this is uncle Adams the worst old

reprobate who ever lived my dear you're

covering quite a lot of territory how do

you do mr. Winston I'm delighted how do

you do if you give him a drink guy think

he make you still one of the beat scotch

and Soda Springs and thanks easy on the

soda.

[Applause]

Hey if you want my opinion it's uncle

Adams who's been committing all the

murders all the murders mr. Barksdale

was murdered today in the old house.

Boxster my word whatever you understand

but but murders

what's the meaning of it mr. Winston

you're investigating the case I suppose

unofficially I'm a friend of Captain.

Ryan yes yes of course I've heard of you

well have you any accused don't you

cover many ideas no but he has a laugh

for you really well let's have it

you're next what according to mr.

Winston's theory you're next on the list

unless of course you've been doing the

murders yourself you've always had the

most acute sense of humor must be some

more of the family I'm doing the

resurrection egg and enjoying a fairy if

I know your you certainly startled me

if you explain your reasons well for

heaven's sake I thought you were dead

disappointed well why be a hypocrite you

know I've always hated your module if

you say that word again out it's only

what our laws

is this for private use only I suppose

your Winston at your service

I may take you up on that if this is

another one of your jokes Murray I must

say it's in bad taste

I've been simply frustrated all day I'll

bet you have bridge always tires mother

Marjorie they tried to kill me are you

glad I'm alive am I glad I think you are

but what does it mean since they made us

get down to look at that that other girl

was you did you cry well to tell you the

truth money week we both went home we've

got potted

that's just as good mr. Winston has a

whole family here he says one of them is

the murderer I'm getting odds on uncle.

Adams Adams he's too lazy to commit a

murder

but tell me darling what happened to you

oh well here we are just one big happy

family

oh hello Thor who was that blonde I saw

you with the other night there was no

blonde and you know it dear Marjorie

your soul must look like the inside of a

vinegar bottle hi Jove it's a good idea

I wish I had thought of it yourself

what's that killing off her family it

must be some poor soul that had the

misfortune to dine with us when we were

all together I think you're right

someone who dined with you 13 years ago.

Oh.

You mean the night that John read that

stupid will and then died

well mercy don't over me I didn't kill

him

no one killed him as far as we know does

anyone here know the present whereabouts

of wayne seymour the last time I saw him

I got an impression that he was going to

spend the rest of his days at number 9

Yokohama I see you know your Yokohama

mr. Winston I've traveled a bit with the

exception of Wayne Seymour you people

were the only guests at that dinner who

are still alive

well we're dead from the neck up speak

to yourself John I'll speak if you don't

mind go ahead but a few snappy jokes

injected here and there would make a

world of difference you see we're

accustomed to public speaking I'm afraid

this isn't a joking matter it looks as

if someone is determined to kill every

person who attended that dinner 13 years

ago they've already killed two people

too

yes a girl mistaken for Miss Morgan and

John Barksdale Boxtel murdered

very much so and in both cases the

bodies were found in the chairs occupied

by that person at the dinner and as.

Captain Ryan so elegantly describes it

the murderer intends to line the table

with stiffs

how vulgar well thank goodness I was

under the table most of the time yes

pinching me oh I was a cute youngster

always full of fun

someday I'll look at your baby pictures

but just now we're discussing murder

which automatically makes one think of

the Margaery

speak for yourself John shall we go on

with this or just turn it into a family

reunion well why not have a blind

protest couldn't matter which one you

picked we'd all cut each other's throats

for a dime why a dime

I cut yours for fun

give me police headquarters detective

bureau captain Brown's office well it

isn't every day you get a chance to see

a mastermind at work.

Oh who's this speaking oh well this is.

Winston send the wagon to my apartment

and issue for John Doe and three Jane

Doe warrants material witnesses in the

Morgan case right I've got them here

really you're quite amusing mr. Winston

thank you

you'll like the matron in the city jail

too

she's one of the Philadelphia Smith

perhaps by this time you're beginning to

see that I mean business now then you

want to stop trying to be clever or do

you want to spend the night in jail do

the men have separate boards from the

women I think you settled it then young

lady night in jail may make you people

see that murder isn't amusing this is an

outrage it's always murder

oh you can't do this wait and see I

break you for this the governor is a

personal friend of mine and of mine and

I happen to know that he's a little

funny when it comes to murder he doesn't

like it don't be a lot of fools he

doesn't intend ascenders syc good

evening sergeant de vivir sir have you

the warrants desert yes yes all signed

and in order all right take these people

down and lock them up yes sir all right

step lively I demand to see my lawyer

miss Morgan saw her lawyer today and I

don't think she enjoyed it you'll be

sorry for this

good night when a deer

winces good night my dear and the

sweet dream.

[Applause]

Turn

[Applause]

Oh come on down Derry we've got another

corpse that what what what the family's

all locked up

yeah sure you're a smart guy

I don't know I'm over it

you're coming down okay get me the

police station Oh give me the desk

sergeant the City Jail yeah hello this

is Winston private investigator on the

Morgan case I sent down seven of the

upper crust for you will you send

somebody in and see if they're all there

yes hey Mike take a look at the 400 and

see if they're all there okay sergeant

don't touch her magic hey what's the

matter what

what

she says you remind her of her mother.

[Laughter]

Yes I know you're gonna write a letter

to the Commissioner say what are you

trying to do rip me Jimmy no say if you

guys don't tell me up there's gonna be a

murder

well that's what we're here for two

murders he did them what hey pipe down

yeah hide among oh go read your ticker I

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