The Thomas Crown Affair Page #4

- That's as good as it gets.

Oh. Excuse me.

- May I ask you a very personal question?

- Oh, sure. By all means.

Do you really think I'm going to sleep

with a man I'm investigating, hmm?

- Is that the question?

- Yes, that's it.

Why should I answer your question

when you didn't commit to my espresso?

All right. I'll seriously commit

to your espresso.

- I'd let you in...

- But the world is watching.

- Yes, they are.

- And besides...

you've got no furniture.

Oh, that's good.

- Good night.

- Good night.

Alone?

- Ready?

- Okay.

Ground.

Okay.

Ten.

Eleven.

Twelve.

Thirteen.

Fourteen.

Fifteen.

Sixteen.

Seventeen.

Eighteen.

Nineteen.

Got it.

- Good.

- You're slippin', Larry.

Give me a break, all right?

Guy's got a ten-digit PIN.

- Check the basement first.

- You got it.

- Excuse me.

- Is that it?

- We got it.

- She got it!

Excuse me.

- Is the expert here?

- Ready and waiting, darling.

- Let's see what you got.

- Okay.

Look, this is George French,

head of forensics.

Hi, George.

This is Dr. Cornelius of Manhattanville.

Come on in, Doc.

- This is Catherine Banning.

- How do you do?

Hello.

Well, go to work, Doctor.

Don't glare at me, Michael.

So are the laws

of the United States...

completely unknown to you?

Or is it because you've been living

in f***ing Morocco?

- Monaco.

- Mogambo. I don't give a sh*t.

It's illegal entry,

theft, trespassing.

- I'm not a cop.

- No, you're not a cop.

If you were a cop, you'd know

that this won't hold up.

- Don't you want him to go up for...

- My job is the painting.

You've got a ghost here.

What?

Another painting underneath.

Monet reused his canvases.

Monet's unknown masterpiece...

"Dogs at Cards."

Where is that sack of sh*t?

Where is he right now?

- Excuse me?

- I'm cutting in.

It's all right.

I'll see you later.

It's a black and white ball.

Oh, so.

I wasn't invited anyway.

- You left yourself wide open.

- You're all flushed.

How many people can forge a Monet?

Five, maybe six?

Come now. I'm sure I can't

be arrested for a joke.

- Oh, but this was a little too good.

- You think you're just inches away.

I am inches away. You think I'm

just gonna peck at crumbs you lay out?

I can smell blood on my own.

You smug son of a...

Do you want to dance...

or do you want to dance?

Get away, get away!

You are the most remarkable woman.

You don't think we're finished,

do you?

- Good morning.

- Good morning.

- Good morning, Paul.

- Can I get you anything else?

Not a thing.

- Thank you, Paul.

- Thank you, Paul.

I suppose you didn't

just run out for that.

No. Damn, I hate being

a foregone conclusion.

You live very well.

Thank you.

It'd be a shame to lose it all.

That depends on

a very large presumption.

Yes, it does.

I won't back off, you know.

Not even for a minute.

I'd be hugely disappointed

if you did.

How do porcupines mate?

Old joke. Very carefully.

Carefully...

or unsuccessfully.

Don't see many porcupines.

Creatures with highly evolved

defense systems.

Like porcupines.

Like 42-year-old, successful,

self-involved Ioners.

If you've found

a female mirror image...

and think you're going to form

a rewarding relationship...

Think again?

Good morning.

Nice dress.

Looks like it was a great party.

Mm-hmm.

You gonna be a cliche?

- Did you even think twice?

- No.

- You knew what you were doing.

- My job.

He likes me.

He'll keep liking me.

- Keep him right next to me.

- You don't care what that makes you?

- I know what I'm doing.

- Do you really?

This is just about money, Mike.

He's got a problem.

- I could get used to this.

- Just hold on now.

Hold on? Why?

All right!

- You're gonna take the stick.

- Oh, I'm not taking...

- Take the stick.

- I'm not taking...

Put your hands on the stick.

Just put it right...

That's it. That's good.

- That's good.

- Oh, my God!

Head for that hill over there.

Head for the hill. Don't lose it now.

Don't lose it. There you go.

This is ridge-running.

We're doing it.

- This is great.

- I'm in your hands.

- Just feel that. Feel that movement?

- I do.

To the left.

Pick up a thermal

coming over the hill.

Just like a hawk.

Cows.

That's okay. We're only

about four states from your car.

That island isn't Manhattan.

It's not?

I have appointments.

Wanna keep 'em?

Door's welded.

Throw your leg over.

Throw my leg over?

Oh, that's beautiful.

- Oh, this must go over.

- With whom?

Whomever you bring here.

I never bring anyone here.

I bet they're all my size, huh?

Could be. Might be off

a little here and there...

but I think they'll make do.

I'll go make dinner.

- Come on.

- You want some wine?

Yes.

Whoo! It's beautiful!

Wanna see it?

Are you sure?

I'm sure.

Would you like a splash?

Come here.

Wanna see it?

You sure?

You think I believe you'd leave your

hard-stolen painting lying around a hut?

What if I did?

- And that you'd tell me?

- What if I trust you?

You know you can't.

You don't believe it's possible

that you could ever trust me, do you?

You know how likely

I think that is?

Excuse me.

Should I open another bottle?

Yes.

I think so.

- I think so.

- The '85 wasn't very good.

- No, it's... it's not at all.

- Truce. A truce would be good.

That'd be great.

That'd be good.

What was it?

- It's a nice little Renoir.

- Oh.

Renoir.

Nice little copy?

We'll never know, will we?

- Okay, I give up!

- Easy, easy.

- Think I'll get that bottle.

- Oh, yeah. That would be good.

Oh, you're not boring.

I'll give you that.

- You've complimented me.

- How?

- They were bankers.

- Who?

Who? The suits.

You're transferring assets,

getting ready to run.

And suppose I did run?

Then what would you have?

Not the painting,

not the $5 million fee, not me.

Suppose I gave you ten.

To fail?

- How would I hide it?

- I'd teach you.

You really think there's

happy ever after for people like us?

So just how big of a thief are you?

Well, if you count Wall Street...

pretty big.

If you mean art...

I'm just an amateur.

Beginner's luck, huh?

Gentleman jockey wins the Derby.

Something like that.

Well, you got your hand caught

in the cookie jar now.

How are you gonna

get out of it?

It's just a game, love.

Just a game.

- Nice tan.

- Thanks.

Went to the beach a couple days.

- On the job?

- That's right.

And did you pick anything up?

He's got an ornament worn by Frederick

Barbarossa at his coronation in 1152.

Really? Stolen?

So, that's it, huh,

after two days and two nights?

That was it.

Would you like to know where he was

the night before he left?

Or after he left you last night?

Not really.

Okay, suit yourself.

She's...

striking.

He seems to think so.

Three dates in six days.

Where does he find the time?

You okay?

You know, I was okay once.

My girlfriend got drunk.

Stayed out all night,

came back in the morning married.

I told people I didn't care...

and then I f***ed five women

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