The Three Musketeers Page #5

One!

Two!

Three!

Oh! Sorry! Didn't see you there.

Damn you!

Fire!

Let me guess.

You've come to tell me

that the Musketeers are dead,

our plan is proceeding on schedule,

and I have absolutely, positively,

nothing to worry about.

We were taken by surprise, Your Eminence.

Somehow I was laboring

under the assumption

that the plan was for you

to take them by surprise.

- Was it not?

- Eminence...

Yes, you are quite fond of that word,

aren't you?

Sadly, repeating it

doesn't get you into my good graces.

Alert Milady. Watch the ports.

No one is to leave for England

without my official permission.

Post a bounty on their heads.

The bigger, the better.

Yes, Your Eminence.

Rochefort.

Do not fail me again.

Jussac and a lot of help.

There's no way past.

How the hell did he get here so fast?

- Now what?

- We need a distraction.

- I'll go.

- I'll go.

I could go.

Probably not.

Wrong.

Wrong on all counts.

You'll need every sword where you're going.

I can't help you there, but I can help.

Right here, right now.

- If they catch you...

- They won't.

- If they catch you...

- I'm the Queen's lady-in-waiting.

You, on the other hand,

are a wanted fugitive,

and about to steal

from the most powerful man in England.

Which one of us should be worried?

Go.

Go so that you can come back.

Now give me that hat.

D'Artagnan!

Get after him!

Wait!

The diamonds will be

in Buckingham's personal vault,

located in the lowest, most secure level

of the Tower, next to the crown jewels.

The lock is state of the art.

Lt requires a key that Buckingham

carries on his person at all times.

Corridor leading up to it is booby-trapped.

Oh, I'm glad that's straightforward.

Tempt anyone

with some bread and cheese, if you...

You hadn't finished the briefing, actually.

I'm so sorry.

Please don't tell me off.

Then it gets worse, a lot worse.

We have to cross three stone walls

and a moat.

And there's just a couple of hundred

highly trained soldiers

with a predilection for not being robbed.

Although, since Buckingham undoubtedly

knows we're coming, thanks to Milady,

that number is likely to be greater.

And why can't we just tell

Buckingham Milady is plotting against him?

Because he wouldn't believe us.

Why should he? We're his sworn enemies.

Besides, Milady would have made sure.

Athos is coming.

Tell me.

What do you suppose he's after?

What does it matter?

Whatever it is, it's merely an excuse.

He wants revenge for Venice.

He wants me.

And he wants you.

We shall have to be ready for him.

Won't we?

We can't outshoot them,

but we can outsmart them.

He'll naturally favor

misdirection and deception.

He knows we're expecting him,

but that just ups the ante.

She knows us.

What we look like, how we move,

how we think.

He'll divide his forces, independent teams,

each with their own point of entry

to maximize their chances.

There are four of us. So we use...

Well, there's five of

us, actually, if you...

He's a skilled diver. He'll take the

aquatic route, through the Traitor's Gate.

Aramis will undoubtedly rely

on agility and stealth.

Check every tower, every rooftop.

Porthos, on the other hand,

will employ brute strength.

One of his preferred methods

is getting captured by the opposition.

All the more reason

to take none of them alive.

One more thing.

They may try and drive a wedge between us.

Claim to have secret information

about some plot to get us

to turn against one another,

like, say, I'm a double agent

working for the Cardinal

or you're looking to get rid of me.

I assure you,

nothing could be further from the truth.

Although,

I suppose I should

search you for concealed weapons.

That's how it's done.

And that's exactly what she'll expect.

So we do the unexpected.

We go in broad daylight.

One man, hiding in plain sight.

With all the extra security, there'll be

a lot of new faces, that's their weakness.

And you, D'Artagnan, you're the wild card.

We are the decoys.

Now we'll try and create a distraction,

keep them occupied,

keep them away from you

as much as possible,

but, ultimately, it's down to you.

You wanted to be a Musketeer?

You want to serve France?

This is your chance.

Left, right, left, right, left!

I thought you saw the signal!

- I saw you waving like an idiot!

- Well, that was the bloody signal!

I'm trying to see things

from your point of view,

but, unfortunately,

I can't get my head that far up my ass!

- Up your ass? I'll tell you what...

- Yes!

That's enough of that!

Finally, good,

at last, a peace officer!

Now listen, Sergeant,

I would like you to arrest this man!

Arrest me?

You can't arrest me!

Don't you tell me that!

I've lost my prized bantam!

- Bantams? They are rotten!

- They are not rotten!

Sir! The first of the Musketeers

has been arrested!

The game is afoot.

Bring him to me and double the guards.

Double the troops.

Double everything.

Sir!

They'll come to us.

Well, then.

I think Your Lordship

has everything under control.

You won't mind if I don't stay

to see how it all turns out?

- Do you think I might lose?

- On the contrary.

I have no issues with you killing Athos,

but, if it's all the same to you,

I'd rather not watch him die.

Tell me, what's your favorite color?

Red.

Why?

I wanted to see

if you were capable of telling the truth.

Hmm.

As far from here as possible.

Well, well, well.

Look at what the cat dragged in.

So, how's the old Athos, eh?

Still his surly,

insufferable self, I'm sure.

Sending a boy to do a man's job.

I should feel insulted.

Well, what were you after anyway, eh?

Secrets, spies, it's all a game, really.

Although the price of loss,

as you'll come to discover,

is a little bit higher.

What?

No last words?

No insults?

- Pleas for mercy or...

- What time is it?

About 2:
00, I'd say.

Why? Are you in a hurry?

Look out of the window.

They weren't the decoys. I was.

Ahhh!

Permission to come aboard?

Granted.

Athos!

The wonderful thing about fighting

an imaginary opponent, Captain Rochefort,

is that he's always greatly skilled

yet easily defeated.

Eminence.

The pride of victory

without the risk of loss.

I trust you didn't come here to impress me

with your swordsmanship.

No, Your Eminence. I have some good news.

Such as?

So what about the diamonds?

Doesn't Buckingham still have them?

Nope.

Milady likes hedging her bets.

She'd never have taken the chance

we'd actually succeed

in breaking into the vault.

So where are they now?

With the only person she trusts.

Which means we've lost her

and all this has been for nothing.

I wouldn't say that.

You were the decoy, we were the extraction,

but the real linchpin of the plan, well,

that was someone else entirely.

Someone even Milady would never suspect.

Driver! What the hell is going on?

Just following your instructions, ma'am.

"As far away from here as possible."

Whoo-hoo!

Planchet. Never thought

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