The Trouble with Girls

I can see it! Here it comes!

1927.

Will Coolidge choose to run again?

Will Dempsey beat Sharkey?

Is Babe Ruth going to hit

60 homers this year?

Lucky Lindy had just flown the Atlantic.

Janet Gaynor won the first Oscar.

Al Capone was scaring Chicago.

But the really big event of the year...

...in thousands of towns

like Radford Center, Iowa...

...was the traveling Chautauqua troupe

that was coming to town...

...with its silver-tongued orators

and exciting entertainers.

There was one man who held

the dizzy troupe together.

He was the manager.

He wore a white suit.

And when he stepped down off

that big train on a hot summer's day...

...a town looked different.

It somehow came alive!

- How you doing, kiddo?

- White folks still ahead.

I'll tell you what.

- What's this for?

- You wear this button...

...it's like advertising space

for us, right?

- Well, that's the fee, baby.

- Got something for her?

- Have you got your tickets for the season?

- No, because it's so much money.

- Anyone can afford Chautauqua.

- Not us.

- Well, I don't have the time.

- She says it's all baloney.

Chautauqua's not baloney, ma'am.

It's a way of life.

Enjoy the week, ma'am,

as a guest of the Chautauqua.

Boy! And you didn't even wanna come!

- Where's Walter?

- I don't know.

- Would you find him?

- Right, right.

- Where's Hale?

- I don't know where he is now.

- But an hour ago...

- Yeah, yeah, yeah. Come on, come on.

Good question. That is a very

interesting question.

I am glad that you asked

that question.

That's the kind of a question

that should be asked.

Hey, boss! Boss!

Now that you're the boss, give me

the chance to do something. Watch this.

- A manic-depressive duck.

- Hey, Walt!

Isn't she cute, Hale?

Can't you just see this adorable

little child as the lead in the pageant?

Yeah, she's something.

- Do we move it, boss?

- Right, roll it. Sure.

And thank you too.

Mr. Hale, now, I don't wanna

seem pushy or anything, Mr. Hale.

But wouldn't it be nice

if Lily-Jeanne could play...

...the lead

in the little children's pageant?

- Mr. Hale, that would be very nice...

- I don't think it'll be a problem.

- Still got it?

- Yeah.

Come on, kids.

I think it must be over here.

Make a mental note to yourself.

Make sure the college boys

know where the drugstore is.

- The old man says...

- Glad you're here, ma'am.

You gotta always check

the electrical equipment.

Last year, somebody pulled

the wrong switch...

...and the whole damn town

was dark for 11 hours.

- Now, what...

- Excuse me.

Could I get to both the French cooking

and the cannibalism lecture this afternoon?

You see, I'm interested

in all kinds of cooking.

French cooking is right back there and

cannibalism's going on in the main tent.

Nice to see you.

Stay away from the locals, kiddo.

You're the boss now.

Don't forget that.

This is very important. When it rains,

be sure you get a lot of old blankets.

And put them over the leaky parts...

Oh, for heaven's sake.

You're doing it wrong.

Let me show you.

Now, the boss says to be sure

to remember that the timetables...

...are not written in daylight-savings time.

You make an awful mistake...

Remember to push everything back

an hour or you'll get all mixed up.

Johnny! Get Hale.

And tell him I have to see him.

- Hale, Charlene wants to see you.

- I'll be there in a minute.

There, that was wonderful.

Okay, now, you can sit down.

It's out back. Next, please!

You made life cheery.

Get down. Get down.

Thank you, darling.

That was very good.

Will you stop fighting?

You don't wanna wake the babies.

Next, please!

You tell me when you're ready, okay?

Don't bark, darling.

How's it going, honey? Looks like

everything's under control in here.

- You look...

- Overworked.

Just because I'm the shop steward,

you're trying to overwork me.

I know, it's the basic anti-union

tendencies coming to the fore...

...now that you're management.

- I'm not anti-union.

All bosses are.

Goes with the territory.

Don't you bedroom-eye me,

boss-man. I work here, remember.

I remember a lot of things.

Well, you get A for remembering.

But what is starting is finished.

Because we are on the opposite sides

of the bargaining table, buster.

I swear to you, if you don't get me

some help here fast...

...I'm gonna wire Chicago and you'll be...

- Honey, you know me.

- Before you can say "Daddy Warbucks."

- I'll take care of everything.

My, she sings with such emotion,

doesn't she?

Now, would you like

to hear her recite "Rosa"?

Do you know, there isn't a dry eye in our

parlor when she does her "Rosa."

No, that's fine. Thank you.

- You're next.

- My hubby's in the committee.

And Lily-Jeanne's met your Mr. Hale.

He said she was something.

Well, thank you very much.

What would you two like to do?

Can you play "Darktown Strutters Ball"?

We just do the chorus.

Would you mind repeating the last

eight bars? That's what we'd get off on.

Her mother used to be a dancer.

And...

Wonderful!

Where's your mother?

What's the matter with you?

Where you going?

Well, I have to pick up Carol

at the Chautauqua, Harry.

Chautauqua.

- Well, I have tickets.

- You got tickets and everything.

Look, what about later?

Why don't you come back later? My wife

thinks I'm at a committee meeting.

Well, I don't know.

But I'll see.

Did Nita leave?

She didn't turn in her receipts.

What are you, some kind

of a wiseapple or something?

What's the snotty look for?

Now, come on, what's the look for?

It's dirty thoughts, kiddo.

That's why you have pimples.

Now, listen to me.

This is the third time today

I've caught you eating.

Yesterday you had four

double hamburgers...

...two chocolate malts,

four phosphates...

...three pies and a banana split.

Now, you're not gonna

eat me out of business.

Because from now on, I'm gonna take

inventory around here twice a day.

And when I do, I'm gonna count

every hamburger patty, every bun...

You have something

you wanna say to me?

Come on, say it!

Can I have a little time off

so I can go to the Chautauqua?

Damn the Chautauqua!

We still got reams of single tickets

available for later in the week.

I got that feeling of trouble

right here in my shoulder again too.

Oh, yeah. The cannibals are complaining

that their mattresses are too lumpy.

- I told them to quit eating them.

- It was nice to have met you, Mrs. Bix.

- And you should be very proud of Carol.

- Yes, I am.

I can't believe it.

That lady said...

...that you were the most

talented kid she'd ever heard.

- She said Willy was good too.

- Oh, of course.

- What's in your hand?

- A dollar.

Oh, that's nice.

But to be the lead in the pageant...

This is the best thing that has

ever happened to us.

And to think that

I wasn't even gonna go.

I bet we're gonna get out

of Radford Center now.

I know we're gonna get out.

And we're gonna get you someplace...

...where you can really

get to be somebody.

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