The Trouble with the Truth Page #2

---

-Yeah, of course I read it. I read everything

that you write. No, I go into Barnes & Noble

and places, and I check to see that

your stuff is on the shelves. And if it is, I pick it up,

and I...I flip through it. Yeah, just to see if your name

is in the acknowledgements. -You are such a narcissist.

-No, no, no, no, no. It is because I am

so very proud of you. I mean, how many people say

that "I'm going to be a writer"? How many people actually do it? How many people

can make a living at it? I don't make much of a living, and, as you always like to

point out, I have a benefactor. Yeah, but, still,

you are leaving the world with something that will be here

long after you're gone, and not many people

can say that, including me. What about Jenny? -Hmm?

-Well, Jenny -- Look, any goofball can knock

somebody up. I mean, come on. Will you be proud,

for God's sake? I mean, come on. I can see that you're still

terrible at taking compliments. I'm just a little superstitious. I'm afraid

that if I get too cocky... I won't be able to write

anymore. Yeah, well, you've been

grinding them out lately. I mean, how many?

Four? Five? Oh, yeah, yeah,

that's my way of doing things -- quantity over quality. But, see, there you go again.

Will you take a compliment? I'm sorry. Yeah. I guess I've kind of been

on a roll lately. The only thing that stinks is I don't have a chance

to read for pleasure anymore. I'm too busy working

on my own stuff. You still read a lot? Yeah, I do. I try to plow through

like one or two books a week. -Wow.

-Yeah. -Read anything good lately?

-Mm-hmm. Historical fiction --

this guy Dan Simmons. -Ohh.

-Yeah. No, it's good. And I just reread Updike. Yeah.

I mean, after he died. You hate Updike. Mm. Well, when I was 25. I mean, a guy's entitled to change his opinions

about some things. Sure, but I just remember that when we first got together

you were so vehement. You thought he was an egocentric, self-absorbed

white guy who was obsessed with the

minutiae of his own little life. Yeah, but then I became an egocentric, self-absorbed

white guy, and his stuff started to make

some sense to me. [ Laughs ] Okay, so, um, you want to --

Take our drinks. Let's go upstairs.

Go up there? -Okay?

-EMILY:
Ah, sure. Wow. ROBERT: Yeah. EMILY: [ Sighs ] ROBERT: Here. EMILY:

So, where do you play? Uh, well,

the nights that I play, they set up a little keyboard

right over there -- a little electric. -You like it?

-Yeah. Sure. Yeah. I get to play

almost every night. I get paid for what I do. Hard to beat. EMILY: I guess. What? You know... I just think sometimes you don't

expect very much out of life. I haven't worked at a job

that I hated since I was 20. Now, how many people

can say that? EMILY: You're right.

You're right. You still living

in the same place? ROBERT: Yeah. But not all of us

can live in a palatial estate. Mm-hmm.

Here we go. I just think

there's a middle ground between a studio apartment

the size of a jail cell and a palatial estate. I mean, you think

I'm Imelda Marcos just 'cause I want

my own bathroom. Well, what can I say? I-I-I like to have

a low overhead. I like to have limited expenses and limited involvement

with other people because, for those of us who don't have the option

of marrying into money, it's the only way to sustain

a career in the arts. I think

you're selling yourself short. There must be a lot

of rich widows and divorces coming through here. You could find yourself

a patron. And on that subject...

how's your love life? Are you seeing anyone right now? What happened to that girl?

What was her name? Uh, Tangerine? Pi--

[ Laughs ] -Cherry. Cherry.

-Apple? Cherry. Cherry. Badly.

It ended very badly. Yeah. And it ended a long time ago. And, uh,

there was a lot of drama. I'm so surprised there's a lot

of drama dating a 21-year-old. [ Chuckles ]

Yeah, 'cause the women my age are so uncomplicated and easy. Yeah, you wouldn't know what

to do with them if they were. As long as I've known you,

you've always dated -the most complicated women.

-Well, what can I say? It's the crazy ones

who are the best in bed. Oh. So, you're saying

I'm either nuts or a lousy lay. -You were never a lousy lay.

-Thank you. You're being evasive.

Are you seeing anyone right now? Look, a lot of, you know,

flight attendants and business travelers

come through those doors, and, yes, sometimes I end

upstairs in one of their rooms. But right now

I am seeing someone. I mean,

I go over to their house, you know, a couple times a week. But nothing serious. [ Gasps ]

The bartender? ROBERT: Yeah. -She's Jenny's age!

-[ Chuckles ] Don't you want to be

with someone that gets all your references? Look, I-I-I don't have to talk

about Thelonious Monk and the Cuban Missile Crisis

while I'm having sex. Yeah, but it might make

the time before and after... -...a little less boring.

-What time after? Look, I go back to their rooms. I never have anybody back

to my place. They wouldn't fit. All right, be nice, okay? It's part of my exit strategy,

okay? Because I like to be

in a position to leave when I want to leave. And, most nights,

I'm -- I'm home alone. I'm -- I'm --

I'm comfy and cozy in my bed long before "Letterman" is over. That is so sad. Wouldn't it just be easier

to masturbate? Yes, maybe. But, see, when it comes to women I've always had

the FMS syndrome. [ Chuckles ]

The FMS syndrome? -'Fraid I'll Miss Something.

-[ Laughs ] No, 'cause -- No, I see a woman,

and I want to know, what's it like

to have sex with her? Don't they all just blend

together after a while? No, no, no. Au contraire.

They're like snowflakes. You're such a slut. Okay, I love women,

therefore I'm a slut? No, I don't think love

has anything to do with it. I wouldn't be surprised to know that you don't even like some

of the women you go to bed with. Unh-unh-unh, okay, you know,

you've got me there because -- All right. Here's the difference

between men and women -- Men do not have to like women

to have sex with them, okay? I have sex with women

I'm not even attracted to. -Oh, God, that's disgusting!

-All right, all right. -Oh, my God!

-All right, fine. Tell me about the Executioner. EMILY: [ Laughs ] What about him?

Come on. -Jack is fine, thanks.

-Yeah. And he is a prosecuting

attorney, not an Executioner. -Yeah.

-Some people might even say... ...that he makes quite

a contribution to society. Yes, because

somebody's got to do it. -Aha.

-Yeah. I-I have just never quite

understood the psychology that drives somebody to make a

career out of punishing people, because I think that life doles

out enough punishment as it is. EMILY: Well, I know. It's not as morally elevated as playing piano in a hotel bar

for tips and going to bed with barflies. ROBERT: [ Scoffs ] But not all of us can lead

the soulful life of an artist. Okay, now, speaking

of soul-numbing exercises, do you know

that Jenny is engaged? Yeah, Bob, I know.

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes