The Trouble with the Truth Page #4

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love was a literary invention. Yeah, well, I suppose it's

like anything else, you know. It kind of depends

on who you ask. Do you know what you'd like, or

do you need a few more minutes? No, I'm good.

I-I -- If you are. Uh, yeah. You order, and I'll --

I'll get there... All right,

so, I'm gonna have the -- I'm gonna have the, uh... the Tasmanian wild salmon,

medium. Um, and I'll have

the filet mignon -- medium, as well. Whoa, whoa. -Great.

-So, so -- Thank you. So, Jenny hasn't, uh, pressured you

into becoming a vegan yet. I listen to her lectures, but I just can't stop

eating meat. Yeah, no, me either. Yeah, well, you know, rationally, I agree

with every one of her arguments about the environment

and the methane gas and, you know, everything. But then I see

a Quarter Pounder with Cheese, and I just got to have it. -Me too. Yeah.

-[ Chuckles ] -Here's to meat.

-Meat. Mm. Ooh. Did you, um, see that movie

"Fast Food Nation"? -Mnh, no.

-No? It's basically about, you know,

how we're eating sh*t when we put this...stuff

into our systems. -[ Laughs ]

-You know? But not only are we eating sh*t, we're destroying

the environment, we are supporting the system that exploits

the immigrant workers, -I mean, et cetera, et cetera.

-I know. So, I come out of the movie,

and I'm all fired up. Like I'm, you know, I'm gonna change

my eating habits, right? -And...And you did?

-Yeah, yeah, for an hour. Then I'm driving

by the, uh, Astroburger, and the smell is like

[exhales] ridiculous. So I spin a U-turn. I almost

kill a guy in a wheelchair. [ Both laugh ] So, why did you order salmon,

then? Salmon --

No, because I go to my physical. My doctor tells me my

cholesterol is through the roof. Yeah. And I know this shocks you

because of my refined palate, but I have to cut down

on the steaks and the --

and the cheeseburgers and the -- really, or else I got to worry that my next meal

is my last meal. -Well, that sucks.

-Yeah. Well, no,

it's just part of getting older. That's what sucks. -Mm?

-Getting older. No, no, no, no.

I am not so sure. I-I think there are

a lot of advantages. -Like what?

-Like the fact that I, uh -- I don't give a sh*t

about anything anymore. -And that's a good thing?

-Yes. Well, I don't know.

You knew me when I'm 20, right? In my 20s. You, uh, you remember

that I was insane, right? -[ Laughs ]

-No, that I took everything so seriously, that I -- no -- that I-I got worked up

over everything. No, that I-I-I cared about

people that I didn't even know, you know, people who lived

in other countries, countries that

I haven't even been to yet. -I do remember that.

-Right. It's one of the reasons

I fell in love with you. Oh, come on. Come on.

Really. But what good

did that do anybody? I mean, we're all still

as messed up as we ever were. No, these days,

I-I don't even want to think about the rest of the world. I want to play my piano,

I want to read my books, and I want to be left alone. You know, but I-I suppose, you know, for all my mocking

of the Executioner, that, on some level,

I-I envy him. I do.

You know, his certainty, I mean, this --

this kind of belief that you can still make

the world a better place. I don't have that anymore. No. I don't care about anything. What about Jenny?

I know you care about her. Okay, Jenny. Okay, but -- No, but even with Jenny,

it's complicated. [ Scoffs ] I think she's a great kid, this insanity with Webber

notwithstanding, okay? But, you know,

I-I-I find myself feeling proud about the way

that she turned out, and then I feel bad

about feeling good. Why shouldn't you feel proud?

She's awesome. -Because she's not really mine.

-Oh. No, I had nothing to do with -- No, you deserve all the credit.

You, Emily. I-I haven't been a meaningful

part of her life for... what, years. She adores you.

She loves you. Yes, because

she has low standards. She gets that from her mother. -You're too hard on yourself.

-Yeah. No. Huh? Me? -No, I was talking about Jack.

-Oh! [ Grunts ] -Jerk.

-Oh! You know, you're very...mature. [ Chuckles ] [ Laughs ] Look, I'm... I feel really bad about us, you know, not talking

for a long time. I... Butter or olive oil

or something? -I'm sorry.

-Um... I should've called, um, you. -I'm sorry.

-No. It's all right. You know, I mean, the phone

works both ways, right? And I haven't exactly done

my part, either. No, I-I tell you the truth is that I was nervous

about tonight. -Why?

-Because... you fall out of touch

with people, and I don't know. I got worried. I got worried

that you might have changed, that you were a different person

because... you're rich. [ Laughs ] I am not rich. You're -- Well, you're no--

Emily, you're rich. You got twice as many cars in

your house than you do people, you got three times

as many bathrooms. You are rich. Okay, if I'm rich,

I've been rich for a long time. Why would I suddenly change? Well, because without me in

your life as a moral compass... -...you might've lost your way.

-Oh, God. I think this whole thing

about money changing people is just a myth. No, no.

I have met a lot of rich people, and, you know, really,

two-thirds of them are nitwits. A lot of people are nitwits. I don't think

money changes people. It just allows them to become more of who of they were anyway

without any obstacles. If they were generous before,

they're generous now. If they were petty

and...and...and bitter, they just use their money to get

back at people and be jerks. Yeah, okay.

You're right. Maybe. You know. I don't know. It's not really even

about the money, okay? I think maybe I was

just concerned that, after living with Jack

for so long, that maybe you

had turned into an a**hole. I am so glad

you have so much faith in me. Well, no.

It's not a slam against you. It's inevitable that

when you live with somebody, when you're married to them,

especially, that, you know, that people, both of them

start to become like each other. Is this why you're so freaked

out about Jenny marrying Jason? -Yes, partly.

-[ Scoffs ] You know, I couldn't have been

more shocked than if she walked into the

restaurant and peed on my table. -Peed on your table?

-Yes. This is a really nice image

to have before I eat my steak. O-Okay. No, no, seriously.

Will you tell me -- Honestly, is she pregnant? No, of course not.

[ Scoffs ] Are you sure?

Because, you know, kids her age are really stupid

when it comes to sex. There's a girl at the hotel

who thinks that you can get AIDS by sticking your finger

up somebody's ass, if you can believe that. Okay, I can only imagine the circumstances that led

to that conversation, Robert. Geez. Besides, she's not a kid. I mean, when I was her age,

I had already had her, and you can't imagine that

I'm that neglectful of a mother to let her get into

the same circumstances I did. All right, I'm just trying

to figure out some reason why she would want to marry

a pencil sharpener. Maybe she doesn't want

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