The Ultimate Christmas Present

---

Deck The Halls With

Boughs Of Holly

Fa La La La La

La La La La

'Tis The Season To Be Jolly

Fa La La La La

La La La La

Don We Now Our Gay Apparel

Fa La La La La

La La La La La La

Troll The Ancient

Yuletide Carol

Fa La La La La

La La La La

Fa La La La La

La La La La

Ho, Ho, Ho!

Everybody Say Yeah

See The Blazing

Yule Before Us

Fa La La La La

La La La La

Strike The Harp And

Join The Chorus

Fa La La La La

La La La La

Follow Me In Merry Measure

Fa La La La La

La La La La La La

Heedless Of The Wind

And Weather

Fa La La La La

La La La La

Fa La La La La

La La La La

T.V.:
And Now With Today's L.A.

Weather, Here's Edwin Hadley.

Goood Morning,

Los Angeles.

(Clears Throat)

There's Only 3 More Days

Until Christmas,

So Be Sure To Ask Santa

For Plenty Of Sunscreen,

Because We'll Be Having

Hot And Sunny Weather...

F-For The Next Several Days.

This Is Primarily Due

To A 3% Drop In

The Atmospheric Pressure

From The Jet Stream Winds In

The Northwestern Troposphere

Combined With A Steady 24 3/4%

Precipitation Factor, So...

If Some Of You

Young Meteorologists Have

An Isobar Chart At Home--

Boring.

(Beep Beep Beep)

Oh, No, It...That's Ok.

We Can Change The Menu Again,

Mrs. Dombrowski.

Mom! I Can't Find

My Smash Crash Load Game.

I Left It In The Computer.

Ok, Honey,

I'm Really Busy.

No, The Airport

Is Going To Be A Zoo,

So Get There Early.

Hey, Which Tie,

The Red Or Blue?

Uh, Red.

It's More Christmassy.

No, No, No, I Was

Talking To My Wife.

I Was Talking

To My Husband, Sorry.

(Telephone Rings)

Allie, Will You Get That?

Get The Phone.

Get The Phone!

Joey, Eat!

Enough With

The Syrup!

Thompsons.

Sam, Get Over Here

Right Away.

Walk!

Walk!

Blake Lynch Called Me,

And We're Invited To

His Christmas Party.

Sam:
I'll Be Right Over.

Ok, Tell Me Everything.

Ok. Blake's Party's

At 4:
00 On Christmas,

And I Told Him We'd Be There

A Couple Of Hours Early So

We Can Help Decorate.

That Way, We Can Spend

A Couple Of Hours With Him

Before Anyone Else

Gets There.

You're A Genius!

Thanks. I Know.

Samantha, Do You Realize

That We're About To

Leave Behind Our Lives

As Geeky Semioutsiders

And Evolve Into Cool,

Popular Insiders?

At Last!

Samantha, What Do You

Think Of When You Hear

BONESFORBOWSER.COM?

Um...A Website That

Sells Dog Bones?

Exactly!

See, I Told You

It Was Catchy.

Dad, Do You Really Think

People Will Want To Buy

Dog Bones Over The Internet?

Oh, They Will, When They

Learn We Have Over 100

Varieties To Choose From.

Our Investors In

San Francisco Will Love It.

How Long Are You Going

To Be Gone This Time?

Just A Day.

I'll Be Back

Tomorrow Morning.

So, Tomorrow Night We Should

Definitely Get Together

And Discuss Our Schedules

For Christmas Day.

I Was, Uh, I Was Thinking

We'd Open Presents

From 8:
00 To 10:00

And, Uh, Church At 11:00...

And Have Lunch At, Uh...

Oh, At 12:
30. What Do You

Think Of That?

We'll Be Done By 2:00,

Right?

We've Gotta Be.

That's When My Basketball

Tournament Starts.

And Sam And I Have

A Party.

Don't Forget Uncle Don And

Aunt Gwen Are Coming Around 6:0

With The Grandparents.

Ok, Well, Just

Bring Your Schedules,

And I'll Make A Chart.

(Telephone Rings)

Mom Loves Making Charts.

(Telephone Rings)

I Heard That.

Creative Catering.

Well, Hello,

Mr. Fortuna.

Sure, We Can Add 4

People, No Problem.

See Ya, Mom.

Bye, Sweetie.

Uh, No, I Was

Talking To My

Daughter. Sorry.

Bye, Dad.

Have A Good Flight.

And If You Get Some Time

For Christmas Shopping,

I Really, Really Want

Pro-Line Deluxe

Rollerblades.

Well, Don't You Already

Have Rollerblades?

They're So Last-Year.

The New Ones Have

Carbon-Fiber Tips

With Wheels That

Are Road-Tested

Up To 80 Miles Per Hour.

Oh, Well, That's Reassuring.

I've Got To Get

The New Renegade

Starship Video Game.

Don't Forget.

Hey! Aren't You Kids

Forgetting What Christmas

Is All About?

No. It's About Presents.

Kidding!

Bye!

Walk!

(Telephone Rings)

Remember That A Paragraph

Concentrates On One Idea.

If You're Moving On

To Another Idea,

Conclude The Paragraph

And Start A New One.

Allie! Allie!

Oh, Um, Yes, Mrs. Lopez.

Allie, How's Your

Creative-Writing Paper

Coming Along?

Which One?

The One I Assigned

Last Week.

5 Pages,

Single-Spaced,

Due Tomorrow.

Oh...Yeah, That One.

It's, Uh, Genius.

Best Thing I've Ever Written.

Congratulations.

What's It About?

Oh, Uh...

It's About, Uh...

It's About...

It's About William Shakespeare.

Who...Wakes Up One Morning

And Finds Himself Living

Here, Today.

But The Problem Is No One

Believes Who He Really Is,

And He Has To Make Money,

So He Gets A Job Flipping

Burgers At A Fast-Food Place.

And During His Breaks,

He Writes Plays,

And Pretty Soon, He Comes

Up With A New One Called

A Tale Of 2 Pickles Which--

(Bell Rings)

You Want Me To Finish?

Let's Keep It A Surprise.

I Look Forward

To Reading It.

I Have To Admit, That

Was A Pretty Good Story,

For Just Making It Up

On The Spot.

Yeah, But Now I've Got

To Write It, And I Forgot

Almost Everything I Said.

It's Not Fair.

Tomorrow's The Very Last Day

Before Christmas Vacation.

I Hate To Bring This Up,

But We Did Have A Week

To Do It.

That's Not The Point, Sam.

Ok. So, What Is

The Point?

The Point Is I Have

Got To Come Up With A Plan,

Some Way To Get Out Of

Doing This Paper

At All Costs.

Hey, Allie, Sam.

Hi, Blake!

Hi, Blake!

Can You Guys

Still Come To My

Christmas Party?

Uh, Yeah.

Yeah.

And Like I Said,

We'll Come Over Early

So We Can Help Decorate.

Cool. By The Way,

Allie, Your Story In

Class Was Awesome.

Oh, Thanks.

Well, Bye.

Bye!

(Screaming)

Uh-Oh, What Time Is It?

4:
00.

Ahh. We've Got 72 Hours

Until Blake's Party,

And We Have To Get

To The Library,

And We Still Haven't

Even Gotten Joey's

Christmas Present Yet.

Forget It, Al.

We'll Never Make It.

Sure We Will.

Joey And His Friends

Take A Shortcut

Through The Woods

All The Time.

It'll Be Perfect.

Allie, Are You Sure

About This?

Positive.

We'll Be Home

Before You Know It.

Didn't We Pass That Same

Tree, Like, An Hour Ago?

We'll Be There

In 5 Minutes.

Trust Me.

Every Time You Say,

"Trust Me," I Either

End Up In Detention

Or On A Missing-Persons

List.

Whoa. Check It Out.

What?

That.

What A Weird

Little House.

I Know.

Have You Ever Seen

It Before?

No.

But I've Never Been

Lost In These Woods

Before, Either.

What Are You Doing?

I'm Gonna Find Out

Who Lives There.

Come On.

Allie, Whoever It Is,

There's A Reason

They Built Their House

Way Out Here.

Like Privacy.

There's Some Old Guy Inside.

He's Building Something.

That's Nice. Let's Go.

What'll You Give Me

If I Ding-Dong-Ditch?

Nothing.

Oh, Come On.

If I Ring The Doorbell,

Then You Do My English Paper,

But If I Get Scared

And Chicken Out,

I Do Yours.

Mine's Almost Finished.

Besides He Could

Catch Us.

No, He Won't.

Anyway, We Can Outrun

An Old Man.

Grrr...

Durn It All!

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