The Ultimate Gift Page #2

Hello, Jason.

What is this, one of those things

Aunt Martha had to wear?

I see you're at the, uh,

Houston airport.

Uh, Baggage Claim.

You got a problem?

You don't look like you've worked

a day in your life.

Great.

The Amazing Kreskin.

I'm don't know what I'm supposed to be doing,

because no one's been

Hey! Hey!

I'm Gus.

I'm your ride. Get in.

I'm sorry about

your grandfather's passin'.

He and I go way back.

He was some man.

He loved to work.

The man just loved

hard work.

Right. Mind if I smoke?

Ah, it's a free country.

Can you stop

at the next convenience store?

-Convenience store?

-Please.

The last store was

about 50 miles back.

We've been on my property

for the last 30 minutes or so.

Well, seein' as how

you're Red's grandson

you'll stay in the main house

with us.

I know it ain't much.

The little lady just wanted a modest place.

Dinner's in an hour.

Breakfast at 5:
00.

Uh, Gus?

-Aren't you forgetting something?

-I don't think so. Shoot.

The gift.

So this is hell.

Hey, city boy.

Breakfast is over.

Don't you have some kind

of gizmo to wake you up?

Beat it.

-Good morning.

-What is your problem!

Time to get to work.

The sun'll be up soon.

Man Speaking Spanish ]

-Let's go!

Your granddad and I

started out together

wild cattin' oil wells

down in Louisiana.

Made some money.

We each bought cattle spreads

as a hedge against

the oil runnin' out.

Of course,

he really made it.

-Nice to own your own little piece of Texas, right?

-Right.

Just from there

eight feet

from the center.

What?

Lunch will be sent

'round about 11:
00.

Well, how far

am I supposed to go?

Don't worry.

You'll run out of posts

before you run out of Texas.

I wish I had a dollar

for every fence post I've ever set.

Matter of fact, I do.

Hey.

What do you think?

No! Hey!

Aw! Come on, man!

So, I'm dying to know. What did you get?

Uh, it's complicated,

but it involves land

building materials

and slave labor.

They're giving you

a shopping mall?

Not exactly.

So it must be the land, right?

They're giving that to you?

-Uh, land's got a lot to do with it, yeah.

-You don't sound too sure.

Well, whatever it is, I gotta survive

this geriatric cowboy

until he gives it to me

or when I get back or

or when I'm finished.

Finish what?

You know what?

Let me get back to you, okay?

Jason, what are you

So that's it.

Yeah.

Let's go.

I'm not done.

Work's never done

on a ranch.

All right. Whatever.

You know, you do any work

like you just did

you can do anything.

Now, aren't you

forgettin' something?

-I don't think so. Shoot.

-The gift.

I came here to pick up a gift.

Remember?

That was the gift?

I do manual labor

for a month

and you're trying to tell me

it was a favor to me.

-The gift of work.

-Wow.

-Congratulations.

-Look, Hamilton.

Just tell me what

my total inheritance is. I'm over this.

Where are you going?

Where is he going?

Can you tell him

to come back, please?

Mr Hamilton.

Mr Hamilton.

Hey.

Mr Hamilton, sir.

Please.

I think it's only fair I know the amount

of money we're dealing with here. Don't you?

I've been gone for a month.

Just tell me

What do I have to do? What is it?

Red said,

a series of gifts.

But let me add

a personal note.

I, too, think

this is a waste of time.

But it will end shortly,

because you are going to fail.

I expect you to fail

and to fail miserably.

Now, if you do want

to continue

make an appointment

with Miss Hastings.

Okay. Look. Whoa, whoa, whoa.

Mr Hamilton.

I've been acting like a moron

about this whole thing, and I'm sorry.

And now I- I see exactly

what you and Red have in store for me

and I think

it's exceedingly beneficial.

So, what's the next gift?

You'll know.

Howdy.

Wait! Wait!

That's an $8,000

paint job!

You don't begin to live

until you've lost everything.

Heck, I've lost everything

three or four times.

It's the perfect place

to start.

Now, for most

of your adult life

you have been

the life of the party

and an easy touch

for a lot of weak hangers-on.

Now let's see who

your real friends are.

I was at your funeral, and there wasn't

a single person there

who wasn't on your payroll or didn't

have something to gain from your death.

What exactly is he

asking me to do?

He wants you to come back

at the end of the month

with one true friend.

Thank you.

-And how were the lobster tails?

-It was fine, thanks.

The lady was enjoying

the Montrachet.

And sir, the Margaux.

I hope it met

your expectations.

It was terrific.

Thank you.

We don't get too many requests

for the '78.

It's a bit too pricey

for some of our patrons.

I'll just leave this

with you then.

Caitlin, where do you

see our relationship?

-What are you asking me, Jason Stevens?

-Just thinking.

How long have we

been going out?

Uh, an appropriate

amount of time.

-Long enough.

-See? My thoughts exactly.

I was thinking that maybe

it's time to take us more seriously.

Yes?

But there's something

I want to ask you first.

Jason, if you're talking about a prenup,

isn't that sort of passe?

Well, see, I'm in

I was thinking

Excuse me, sir.

The charge card company

declined the charge.

That's impossible. I don't have a credit limit.

Just run it through again.

It's always our practice

to run it through again

but they declined.

Okay.

So, I was thinking, um

well, maybe, it'd be a good time

for me to move in with you.

Uh, you move in with me?

Why? Half my wardrobe's at your penthouse.

Just for a change of scenery.

Besides, I'm remodeling my place.

A remodel? But Who's your designer?

I know everyone in town.

I should've said

I'm beginning to remodel.

I've only really started

with the demolition.

I'm sorry, sir.

Your bank is on the line.

They'd really like

to speak with you. I must insist.

Look, guys. I'm having

a little bit of a setback.

It's nothing that can't be fixed.

All right?

Sweetie, I'm switching accounts right now

and I'm

temporarily out of money.

Is there a way

you could pay for this?

Jason, you're, um

You're, uh

asking me

to pay the bill?

It's

You owe me.

What?

Yo, dude,

I'm rollin' over.

What do you mean

I can't?

I have been there for you

countless times.

You owe me. That's it.

Bottom line.

Who was the one who loaned you

I could come up with a better excuse

when I was 12 years old.

All I need is a place to sleep.

I don't get what the problem is.

You can let me spend the night.

One night. Hello?

Sorry. Your service has been disconnected.

-Can I help you? Yeah, shut up.

-No. Nothing, thanks.

Jason.

Um Uh,

what a surprise.

-Mom, you're never gonna believe this.

-I'm afraid I can't let you in.

I'm having a bit of a situation.

I need some help.

-I need to borrow some money.

-Of course you do. Everyone needs money.

Uh

Didn't your grandfather

leave you anything?

What are you talking about?

He hated me.

Jason, he did not.

He didn't come around much, but, uh,

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