The Unraveling Page #2

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people at the wedding (scoffs).

[Alan] That's a lot of cake.

[Michael] You're telling me!

(distant animal hooting)

(fire crackling over

muffled chatter)

Would you pour me

another one, wouldja?

All right.

Aw, here he

goes, here he goes!

[John] Take it easy,

it's meant to be sipped!

Well, I sip quickly.

(scoffs) My God!

(men scoffing)

(men chuckling)

I'm done, man.

- [Alan] What?

- Are you serious?

- I'm done.

- Already?

Yeah, already.

Hey, do you know

your way back home?

And so we set the

record straight,

I never wanted it to

go down like this.

What are you talking about?

(Alan snickering)

[Louie] You know

what I'm talking about!

[John] Why's he

being so dramatic?

I'm not being dramatic,

I'm being honest!

[Shane] Come on,

Louie (chuckles)!

He's always been the

emotional drunk of the group.

He drank half my scotch

in, like, an hour and a half!

Dude, where you goin'?

Just take a leak.

Oh, we're not

done with you yet.

Come back for another drink.

You got it.

(footsteps crunching)

All right.

(crickets chirping)

(finger tapping on vial

over ominous ambient music)

Sh*t.

(cap rattling over

ominous ambient music)

(finger tapping on vial)

(ominous ambient music)

(brush rustling over tense

and ominous ambient music)

(ominous and unsettling

ambient music)

Yo, I thought you said we

were the only ones out here.

We are, why?

I thought I saw

somebody out in the woods

when I was takin' a piss.

No, I seriously doubt that.

We're a hundred

miles from anything.

No more drinks for

this guy (chuckles).

I'm not even drunk,

I just, I don't know.

I thought I saw someone.

You should invite him

over for a drink, you know?

We got plenty to

go around, right?

Hey, wanna come over,

anybody out there?

[Louie] Quiet,

I'm trying to sleep!

Good night, Louie!

(scoffs) Guy is wasted!

(men laughing)

(wind howling)

(fabric rustling)

(Louie gasping)

(zipper crunching)

(crickets chirping)

(distant owl hooting)

(footsteps crunching)

(zipper crunching)

(Louie sighing over

pattering urine)

(brush rustling)

(urine pattering on ground

over ominous ambient music)

(footsteps crunching over

ominous ambient music)

Hello?

(tense and ominous

ambient music)

(brush rustling)

(footsteps crunching)

(swell of tense ambient music)

(Louie gasps)

(Louie grunting over

rustling and thwacking)

(Louie gasps)

Hey, man, I found ya

a lady friend (laughs)!

(men laughing)

You a**hole, you almost

made me sh*t my pants!

Mwah!

(John laughing)

(men laughing)

[Michael] She's cute!

Hell yeah, she is, I

picked her out myself.

(Alan sighs)

You guys are d*cks, man.

(men chuckling)

(bacon hissing)

(bird cooing)

Damn, dude, you

look like hell!

Thanks, it means a

lot comin' from you.

Did you get any

sleep last night?

No, not really.

Oh, well, lucky for you,

I am makin' the best

hangover food in the world!

All-bacon diet?

Yeah, yeah, we're

goin' caveman style.

We are roughing it.

(Michael scoffs)

Yeah, I think I'm just

gonna have some coffee.

I'm not really that hungry.

You better eat somethin', man,

you're gonna need

your strength today.

(fire crackling)

(footsteps crunching over

pleasant, hopeful guitar)

Woo, look at that!

(men panting over

pleasant, hopeful guitar)

(Michael gasps)

[Alan] You OK?

Fine (panting).

(footsteps crunching)

Let's go, lift with

your legs, ladies!

(pleasant, hopeful guitar)

[Louie] I gotcha, buddy.

Thanks, bro.

(Michael sighs)

Don't tell me this view

wasn't worth the climb.

(bird screeching over pleasant

and hopeful orchestration)

(fire crackling over

chirping insects)

(can rattling)

(owl hooting)

(flatulence popping)

Oh, Jesus!

- Dude!

- Come on, bro!

No, it's OK, just bask

in the glory of what it is.

You are so disgusting, filthy!

This is exactly why

you have your own tent.

Well, my special

mamasita doesn't mind it.

Guess Lindsay did.

(Shane laughing)

Ooh!

You're a d*ckhead, dude!

Don't mention her name, OK?

We had something special,

she was my white buffalo,

I found her in the

plains, she was...

- [Alan] Dude!

- Your what?

Lindsay was crazy.

(scoffs) Yeah!

- [Louie] What?

- She was pretty nuts, bro.

Really, so you wanna

get into, uh, Rachel,

or whatever the

hell her name was?

How 'bout you, Sarah, really?

That's not even close

to the same thing.

How long did you

two even date for?

Like two weeks.

No, it was about a

month, about a month,

but it was a passionate month.

Guys, let's not dig into

all of our past failures, OK?

We're here to celebrate

a relationship

that is actually working.

True, and we're

all very jealous.

I'm not jealous.

I don't know how you're

gonna raise a kid

in this f***ed up world.

Come on, man, don't be an ass.

I'm just sayin'.

(can rattling)

[Shane] Dude, Michael,

where you goin'?

I'm just gonna turn in to bed.

Why are you

being so sensitive?

I'm not being sensitive,

I'm just tired,

man, it's all good.

[John] Dude, you know

I'm happy for you and Jess.

Nice, dude.

I can't make a joke?

(zipper crunching)

(ominous synthesizer)

(zipper crunching over

ominous synthesizer)

(bag rustling over swell

of tense ambient music)

(zippers crunching over

tense ambient music)

(bag rustling)

(bag thwacking)

(panting) Who

went through my bag?

What're you talking about?

Just give it back.

Give what back?

Don't be a prick.

(fire crackling)

Whoa, who's being

a prick right now?

Oh, I'm being a prick...

Dude, calm down, I'm

sure we can find it.

What exactly are you missing?

Yeah, Michael,

what are you missing?

I know it's you, you

little piece of sh*t.

Yes, Michael, I went

through your f***ing bag.

[Michael] Gimme back...

Whoa, whoa, whoa, hey, hey!

(men shouting)

Michael, stop, Michael,

c'mon, stop, relax!

Let go of me!

[Alan] Relax!

What's your problem, man,

it's your f***ing

bachelor party!

(sighs) F*** it.

What the hell?

(Michael sighing over

ominous ambient music)

(fire crackling over

chirping insects)

I think we're gonna need

something a little stronger

than beer if we're gonna

turn this night around.

Knock yourself out.

(liquid bubbling)

Louie?

No, dude, I'm never

drinking scotch again.

(sighs) You guys

have a good night.

And away he goes.

Have fun with

your lady friend.

[Louie] You're just jealous

'cause I won't

share her with you.

(Louie sighs)

Hey, honey.

Yeah, I'm home.

(footsteps crunching over

ominous ambient music)

All right, I give up.

Hey, leave the

bottle, will ya?

(tense and ominous

ambient music)

(Michael sighs)

(fabric rustling)

(uneasy piano over

crackling fire)

(footsteps crunching)

(sighs) Need a drink?

No, I'm good.

Havin' fun?

Oh, yeah, can'tcha tell?

So, uh, are you gonna say

it, or am I gonna have to?

Say what?

What we're all thinking.

That John's a dick?

No, that you're a

complete f***ing mess.

Where the hell have you been

for the past three months?

You don't answer your phone,

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