The Untouchables Page #2

- How do you know that?

- You told me.

If I'm such a good cop...

How come I'm walkin' the beat,

then, at my age?

Do you want to tell me?

Well, maybe I'm that

Whore with a Heart of Gold.

Or The One Good Cop in the Bad Town?

Is that what you want to hear?

I didn't ask you, and I don't care!

You want to stay on the beat?

You do that.

If you'd like to come with me,

I need your help.

I'm askin' you for help.

Well... that's the thing you fear,

isn't it?

Mr. Ness, I wish I'd met you

ten years and... twenty pounds ago.

But... I just think it got...

more important to me...

...to stay alive.

And that's why I'm walkin' the beat.

Thank you, no.

That's good, Andy. Let's start up

the thing and take a little ride.

I wanna hear

that Stutz Bearcat engine, boy!

- Yeah, let me open the door here.

- Yeah, go ahead.

Whoopsy daisy,

pick up the door there, Andy.

Throw it in the back seat.

Now, let me get the thing started.

Yeah, start it up, Andy.

Holy mackerel, Andy!

Listen to that Bearcat motor!

Yeah, it sounds like the bear

is chasin' that cat all round it!

Andy! She's boilin' over!

- Mr. Ness?

- Yes.

Oscar Wallace.

I've been assigned here

by the Washington Bureau.

- Really?

- Yes.

Well, I'm glad to have you here,

Mr. Wallace. Would you excuse me?

We are a little in the dark here,

but any ideas you may have...

Well, actually, yes, sir, I do.

And the one I want to try first...

is this.

He has not filed a return since 1926.

- A return?

- An income tax return.

- Income tax.

- Yes, sir.

- What do you do at the Bureau?

- Oh, I'm an accountant.

- An accountant?

- Yes, and the Bureau sent me here...

Would you excuse me?

Please.

Okay. Let's go.

- Where are we going?

- These walls have ears.

You said you wanted to know

how to get Capone.

Do you really want to get him?

You see what I'm saying?

- What are you prepared to do?

- Everything within the law.

And then what are you

prepared to do?

If you open the ball

on these people,

you must be prepared

to go all the way.

Because they won't give up the fight

until one of you is dead.

I want to get Capone.

I don't know how.

Here's how you get Capone:

He pulls a knife, you pull a gun.

He sends one of yours to hospital,

you send one of his to the morgue!

That's the Chicago way!

And that's how you get Capone.

Now, do you want to do that?

Are you ready to do that?

I'm making you a deal.

Do you want this deal?

I have sworn to put this man away,

with any and all legal means

at my disposal, and I will do so.

Well, the Lord hates a coward.

Do you know what a blood oath is,

Mr. Ness?

- Yes.

- Good. 'Cause you just took one.

How do you think Capone knew

about your raid the other night?

- Somebody on the cops told him.

- Right. Welcome to Chicago.

This town stinks

like a whorehouse at low tide.

First, who can you trust?

Nobody. The cops, nobody.

- 'Cause nobody wants you here.

- Then why are you helping me?

Because I swore to uphold the law.

And if you believe that,

I'll tell you another.

- Now, who can you trust?

- I can trust nobody.

- That's the sorry truth.

- Then, where are we gonna get help?

If you're afraid of getting a rotten

apple, don't go to the barrel.

Get it off the tree.

Get it off the tree...

Finger out of the trigger guard!

Eject those cartridges!

Lay the revolver on the ledge

and stand back!

About face!

Barry! I want you to meet

Mr. Eliot Ness.

Treasury Department. How are you?

We need a recruit for extended duty.

He is to be seconded to the Treasury

Department. We have the full...

Barry? Who is consistently

the best shot of this class?

- Williamson and Stone.

- Call them out, one at a time.

- Are either of the men married?

- No.

- Good.

- Williamson!

- You're married.

- I don't want any married men.

All right, stand easy, son.

I want to ask you something.

- Why do you want to join the force?

- To protect and...

To protect and serve...

To protect and...

Please don't search for the yearbook

answer. Just tell me what you think.

- What I think? I...

- You...

...could help... the force.

- You can help...

- With the force.

Thank you.

There goes the next Chief of Police.

At ease!

Stone! Out here.

This kid's a prodigy.

- Why do you want to join the force?

- To protect the property and...

Oh, please, don't waste my time

with that bullshit.

Where are you from, Stone?

- From the Southside.

- Stone?

George Stone, that's your name?

- What's your real name?

- That is my real name.

Nah! What was it

before you changed it?

- Giuseppe Petri.

- Geez, I knew it!

That's all you need,

one thieving wop on the team!

What's that you said?

I said that you're a lyin' member

of a no-good race.

That's much better than you,

you stinkin' Irish pig.

Oh, I like him.

Yeah, I like him, too.

You just joined

the Treasury Department, son.

Yeah, okay.

Eliot Ness.

With reports from stake-outs

on the North and West side, and...

Thank you, Lieutenant. Thank you.

What do you think?

I think there's nothing

like vaudeville.

- That's what I think.

- Now, are you ready to go to work?

- Where are we going?

- On a liquor raid.

We need another man.

Mr. Ness? This is very interesting.

I've found a financial disbursement

pattern which shows some irregu...

- You carry a badge?

- Yes.

Carry a gun.

- Jimmy?

- What?

What the hell are you dressed for?

Hallowe'en?

Shut up. I'm working.

Where? The circus?

- Well, here we are.

- What are we doing here?

Liquor raid.

Here?!

Everybody knows where the booze is.

The problem isn't finding it.

The problem is who wants

to cross Capone. Let's go.

You'd better be damn sure, Malone.

If you walk through this door,

you're walking into a world of trouble.

There's no turning back.

Do you understand?

Yes, I do.

Good. Give me that axe.

- Federal officers!

- Get your hands in the air!

- Nobody moves!

- This is a raid!

- Everybody...

- What are you doin' here?

All this stuff is impounded!

You're all under arrest!

Hey! This isn't right!

Hey! This is no good!

- You got a warrant?

- Sure! Here's my warrant.

How do you think he feels now?

Better... or worse?

- What is that?

- What is that?

- Yes, what is it?

- God, I'm with a heathen.

That is my callbox key.

And that is Saint Jude.

Il Santo Jude.

He's the patron saint of lost causes.

And policemen.

- Patron saint of policemen?

- Everybody needs a friend.

Lost causes, policemen...

- Which do you want to be?

- I want to be a cop.

- You do?

- Yes.

Why?

'To protect the property

and the citizenry... '

Whoa, it's all right.

- What?!

- I got to tell you, congratulations!

It's okay if I get a picture

of you and your men?

Yeah. But not for publication.

Just for us!

Anything you say, Mr. Ness.

Closer in... Oh, that's great.

Okay, ready? Hold it.

Life goes on.

A man becomes preeminent,

he's expected to have enthusiasms.

Enthusiasms...

Enthusiasms...

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