The Unwilling

1

[ECG beeping]

How are you feeling today,

Mr. Harris?

Wow, I like your hair.

Hello.

He wanted this next to him

on his deathbed.

His instructions

were very specific.

Did you know him?

Nobody from his fa...

[nurse moans]

[nurse screams]

[indistinct chatter on TV]

Ok. Soap.

One, two, three.

Wipe.

One, two, three.

One, two, three.

Hello, Charlie.

I miss you, buddy.

[TV turns off]

Hello?

Hello?

Hello?

Is somebody there?

One, two, three.

Come on, David,

pull it together.

David?

[phone rings]

Sh*t!

Hello?

David. I have some news.

It's about dad.

He passed

just about an hour ago.

- Are you there?

- Yes.

Are you ok?

Of course.

Listen, it's ok,

however you feel.

He can't hurt you anymore,

David.

So... explain the connection

to me again.

They hate me, I hate them,

strictly business.

Your ex's father dies,

you're not really part

of the family anymore,

so why are we going

to the will reading?

Good question.

I made the guy a lot of money

back in the day,

and where was Richie's make?

Huh?

Like, where's Richie's make?

- Darren!

- What?

What are you doing?

I'm trying to call my dealer,

he was supposed to be here!

Your drug dealer is

untrustworthy? That's so sad!

He was supposed to be here

45 minutes ago.

You should totally write a

really nasty Yelp review.

- Just five minutes, ok? Please.

- No! No!

We had to be there in

40 minutes, we're already late!

I've got nothing.

It's not gonna be pretty.

What? Come on, go! Jesus.

Hi, Kelly!

It's so good to see you.

Oh my god, you too, Darren!

It's been so long. I know.

Hey, happy birthday, by the way.

What about Michelle?

We were so young

when we got married,

- it didn't end well.

- Well, I'm here.

Oh, yes, you are.

And pretty, and hot,

and sexy, and full of life.

And I love you.

Oh, speak French to me.

Oh, Jesus!

[car tires screeching]

Are you ok?

Oh, my God!

Did we almost just die?

On the way to a will reading?

How long is this gonna take?

You didn't have to come.

It's fine, I mean...

we're getting paid, right?

Darren, we're going

to the reading of a will,

nobody is cutting you

a check today.

All I'm saying is,

why do we have to go to the

Shudden's house to do this?

It's gonna be a disaster.

I mean, when was the last time

he's been on the house?

The guy probably doesn't

know about the internet,

or drones, or black presidents.

Darren.

We have to all be together

to do this...

You are exhausting,

did you know that?

You're giving me a headache.

[phone rings]

David?

David, is that you?

Michelle? Can you hear me?

Sh*t...

- I'm in a parking structure.

- Oh, Barbara, hi!

Yeah, I can hear you.

I thought we could have drinks.

Oh, sweetie, no,

I'd love to, but...

I can't.

I've got a little bit of a

scheduled day today.

- My father just died.

- I'm so sorry to hear that!

No, actually, it's a good thing.

It's a really good thing.

But I'll call you

some other time and try again?

- Yeah, we'll talk later.

- Ok.

Thanks, babe.

Wow! This is so nice,

with all the trees,

and the nature.

Family money.

[laughs]

Well, it's customary to go

and knock on the door

when you get to someone's house,

isn't it?

Oh, you're a comedian now?

- You're a comedian now, huh?

- I am.

This dude lives

in the boondocks.

I think he might have a gun.

Don't worry.

Agoraphobia and aggression

are mutually exclusive

character traits.

We'll be fine.

I have no idea

what you just said.

Richard is here?

He left Michelle years ago.

Who's the girl

with the daddy issues?

Darren. Being nice lasted

for five minutes, huh?

- Rich! Kelly.

- Yes, Kelly, wow!

- You look great!

- Thanks!

- And... Dwayne, right?

- Darren.

- Rich.

- Hey.

Didn't know you had a daughter.

[laughs]

He's funny, isn't he?

Actually, this is my

new fiance, Cheryl.

- Hi.

- Hi.

- Nice to meet you.

- You too.

You know, it's funny.

I really didn't expect

to see you here.

- Darren! That's rude.

- No, no, no. That's fine.

That's fine.

Actually, I thought

it was a little weird too,

but I got a call

from the lawyer,

saying that I'm in the will,

I'm a beneficiary.

How you doing?

So, this is Michelle's

brother's house, David, right?

Yes. That's correct.

I'm so sorry to hear

your uncle's passing.

Thank you.

- Shall we?

- Yeah.

David!

Knock knock!

[door unlocking]

Hello? David?

It's cousin Kelly.

Well, we are off

to a great start.

Yes, Mr. Gonzalez.

Hi, come on in.

Well, if you want

a guest bathroom,

all we have to do is knock down

the guest room wall.

It will shorten the room

by about three feet,

but you'll have it!

Ok, then.

I will redraw the paperwork

and send it to you tomorrow.

Ok, bye!

- Hi, Kelly!

- It's so good to see you!

Oh, my God, look at you!

You got so tall!

- Your home is beautiful!

- Thank you.

There's a lot of things

I missed with all you guys,

and I just...

Darren! Wow! Look at you.

You know,

the last time I saw you,

you were about that big.

This is just... nowhere near

as bad as we expected.

I'm sorry, we were told

you were like...

- really f***ed up.

- Ok, then!

Also, don't I remember you

being, like, really fat?

It's ok, I remember

you being polite.

David, hey!

We actually never met.

Richard Lambplan.

You were married to Michelle

for eight years,

divorced for three.

And I missed the wedding,

and I'm really sorry about that.

Yeah.

I'm sorry about your father.

Thank you.

I'm sorry about the divorce.

You know, you grow up,

you get past it, time heals,

and it makes room

for great things to happen,

like my fiance, Cheryl.

This is David.

It's really great to meet you.

Hi. Really great to meet you.

He's a very lucky man.

And so are you.

Not that you're a man, 'cause...

you're not a man.

You're a woman.

Ok, why don't you guys

come on in,

make yourselves at home,

and I'll be there in a sec.

Ok?

He seems

like a pretty normal guy.

Strike that.

Soap. One, two, three.

Water. One, two, three.

They'll only be here

an hour or three.

Just an hour or three.

[doorbell and knocking]

I think

there's someone at the door!

I'll get it!

[doorbell]

There he is!

Hey, David,

is there a lawyer

coming from the estate?

- I don't know.

- Michelle is coming, right?

Yeah.

How exactly do you make money

if you can't leave the house?

Will you all please shut up?

I'm sorry.

What is it?

A box.

You're gonna pick it up?

- Maybe you should.

- Yeah. I've got this, boss.

[doorbell]

- Why don't you let me get it?

- Thank you.

- Ok.

- Ok.

So sorry, I'm late.

It's just you have such an

adorable little town here,

and I just couldn't help myself,

and I picked up

a couple of things for...

Oh, I'm sorry. I'm Michelle.

- I'm Cheryl.

- Cheryl.

I'm here with Rich.

Rich is here?

- Hey, Michelle.

- Hi.

How are you?

So great to see you.

These do not go here.

That's right,

I should have known.

- Silly me.

- Right.

I just picked up

a couple of groceries.

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