The Upturned Glass Page #7

but I never expect them,

and I certainly don't care

one way or the other.

I always thought I

cared very much.

I never liked

losing a patient.

Well, that's the sort of

sentimentality you get over

when you've killed as

many patients as I have.

I don't think so.

I've always resented the

fact that one can't choose.

Can't choose what?

Which patients to kill.

Then, as a doctor, you must be in

a constant state of frustration.

In your case, let's say vanity

is involved, not sentimentality,

but whatever

it is it's just as bad.

A man doesn't have

any generous feelings.

He only thinks he has.

Selfishness, habit

and hard cash,

those are his real motives.

Looked at from that angle,

life can hardly be worth living.

It isn't, but I've done

my share of enjoying it.

Just up here.

Now,for another

scene with the mother.

""Why did it have to be my

daughter?"" and all that.

What's your answer

to that one?

""Better your daughter than mine,

madam,"" I'd say if I were honest.

How old is this girl?

Oh, just a child. About 12.

Twelve? Hmm.

Have you any children?

No.

Here we are. Stop.

Oh, I suppose I couldn't persuade

you to look infor a moment

and give a little

presence to the case?

It's always a great comfort to the parent to

have a second opinion say there's no hope.

Maybe there is hope.

She's still alive, isn't she?

Mm-hmm.

Is this where they are?

Yes. Good evening, Carl.

Oh, good evening, Dr. Farrell.

Terrible night, sir.

Yes, isn't it.

Nice mess they

made of that car.

Oh, doctor, we thought

you'd never get back.

I managed to get

another opinion.

This is doctor -

Where is the patient?

Oh, doctor, she

still hasn't moved.

Have you got a torch?

Ah, thank you.

Take that.

Yes, you're quite right.

She's bleeding from

the middle meningeal.

Will she be alright?

I'll operate now.

- What, in this place?

- Have you got a large saucepan or fish kettle?

I want to sterilize

my instruments.

And I should need

some clean sheets.

I've got my

instruments in the car.

It's not worth

taking a chance.

If she dies during the operation

there'll be an inquiry,

and you never know how those

things are going to turn out.

If nobody is going

to take a chance,

that child is going to

die in half an hour.

It's no good pretending we can get

her to the hospital in that time.

It's up to us to relieve the

pressure before it happens.

Maybe I can secure an artery.

At least I can do a decompression to give

you time to get her to the hospital.

Well, that's the job

for a specialist.

I wouldn't touch it.

It'll be alright.

- Well?

- It was this way.

We come out of the bend. We couldn't have

been doing more than eight mile an hour.

There was a grinding

noise and we'd had it.

Ah, sure.

That's women drivers all over.

They never look

where they're going.

She was gazing at the side of the road

with tiddly glance in front of her.

- You should have swerved over.

- How could we?

We never saw her

until she was on us,

and then she was going on

the wrong side of the road.

Well, one of you better come

with me and show me what's what.

Alright.

Fix that on to the tube.

Thank you.

There will be an inquest.

- Well, let's just -

- There's no use thinking about that now.

After all, it

wasn't your fault.

I had a clean license.

Respiration's failing.

- Have you got any carmine?

- I don't carry it.

I have some in my car.

A small box in

the front pocket.

It wasn't in the

front but Ifound it.

Quickly.

Fill the last one with that.

That was a good job.

I hope so.

It's your line, I suppose.

Yes.

She has a good

fighting chance now.

It gives you a

feeling of elation,

a feeling of control

over people's destinies.

You find that?

Certainly not.

I was trying to

assess your reactions.

A spectacular recovery, of course,

would do my practice a world of good.

Apart from that, it's all one to

me whether she recovers or not.

Do you expect everyone

else to feel like that?

Not you.

I'm not speaking

of obsessionals.

I'm speaking of the

normal, the perfectly sane.

Let me put it this way.

The vessel which we normal

people usefor imbibing experience

is a stout austerity model

which doesn't crack.

With others, like yourself,

at last, though of superior

design, cracks quite easily.

Now, instead of leaving

it upturned on a shelf,

a danger to all, it

should be thrown away.

I don't accept your diagnosis.

A doctor dispenses death and

healing with blind impartiality

he's not supposed to way the merits of an

individual case and exercise a sense of justice.

I resent that.

What I did today - you know

what I'm talking about -

It was just.

It was a gesture of independence

by a sense of justice

which years of professional practice

have threatened with atrophy.

Today, I sat in judgment.

Hmm.

Paranoia.

My diagnosis was

quite correct.

You are mad.

Who's here in

that car outside?

That must be Dr.Farrell's car.

No, that ain 't Dr.Farrell's car.

That's a big black one.

-Must be the other one.

-Who's he?

Dr.Farrell's car must be

outside somewhere.

That ain 't Dr.Farrell's, and you don 't

believe me, it must be the otherfellows...

She looks better, doesn't she?

Yes, her color's good.

Beginning to look

very different.

He was wonderful.

I shall never be

able to thank him.

Where is he?

I don't know.

Look, doctor, she moved.

Oh, we must expect that now

that she intends to live.

Are you the owner

of that car outside?

No.

Who does it belong to?

I don't know. Why?

I nearly ran right into it.

He's parked outside

without a rear light.

Oh, is that all?

I'm going to relate the case history

of the murder ofthis class.

Perfectly sane, valuable

member ofsociety.

And yet, like those paranoids,

he had to sell someone about it.

Yes, he was a patient ofmine.

In a lunatic asylum?

No, he was perfectly sane.

Sane as I am.

Not you. I'm notspeaking

ofobsessionals.

I'mspeaking ofthe

normal, the perfectly sane.

What I did today -

-It was just.

It was a gesture ofindependenceby

a sense ofjustice

which years of professional practice

have threatened with atrophy.

Today, I sat in judgment.

Paranoia.

My diagnosis was

quite correct.

You are mad.

You're raving mad.You're

raving mad!You're raving mad!

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