The Village Barbershop

In an effort to find ways

other than gambling

to attrackt visitors, Rino city council

approved funding for bawling stadium.

Bawling? That oughta put

this town back on the map.

What a bunch of geniuses!

Retailing giant Big Mart

plans two new stores

for the Real Sparks area

for the coming year.

THE VILLAGE BARBERSHOP

Good morning, Arther.

- Hey, Gladis, how're doing?

Looks like another

whoper last night.

Yeah, lotta whopers.

- No.

I said, looks like

another whoper.

Those little mother f***ers!

Come on, wake up!

Don't piss on on

the cups, come on.

Oh, sh*t.

What the f***?

Oh, sh*t.

Lesbian Stewardesses.

Hey, Art.

- No, "Lesbian Flight Attendants".

Oh, sorry there chief.

So where's your

little mug?

Forgot it.

You're out of

whipped cream.

So maybe put

crany whipped cream.

Would you go back and check for me?

- No.

Take 'er easy.

Enzo.

So the chinese restaurant is also...

- Yes, a brothel.

Both daughters?

- I don't know, I didn't eat there.

Sorry.

What about the discount?

- It's in there.

Along with a free 1st class

casket upgrade.

That's a partial

silk liner.

That's all I got, 2900.

Maybe you should consider cremation?

- Didn't want to be cremated.

Perhaps you can talk to his family?

- I am his family.

Look, the guy cut your

hair, for Christ's sake.

Even cut your father's hair

in the hispital after the stroke.

You'll get your money.

Didn't you see me out there?

- We open at 8.

Enzo.

Enzo used let me

in early.

You're out of creamer.

- Coffee's for the customers.

I'm a customer.

- You're not a customer.

You're a cabro who steals my coffee.

If you're a customer,

you'd be getting

a hair cut.

Now, you want me

to cut your hair?

Maybe.

- Maybe?

I liked Enzo.

- Most people liked Enzo.

`

So... you're gonna go somewhere

else to get your haircut?

Don't tell you're gonna

go to Elmer's.

Heck no! Everybody knows

Elmer's got them cateract dye

things. Don't know how he stays open.

So who's gonna cut

your hair?

Maybe you'll hire

someone.

Eight from ten, two.

- Thank you sir.

Be sure to

come back, OK?

Next.

Next.

I don't think

I'm next.

Hey.

- Sorry babe, pit stop.

Need clean shirt.

Gotta get down to Bakersfield.

Rickert, I need to

talk to you.

If you got a problem, I can't

hear call your mom.

She's better at that

sh*t than I am.

Is this all the cash

we got?

Rickert, seriously.

- I'll see you in couple of days.

Where is he?

- Who?

The guy who works

in this office.

Yes?

Ah, mister...

- Leroldi.

Mister Leroldi is here.

Use the intercom!

Mister Leroldi is here.

- Very well, send him back.

Mister Leroldi, what can

I do for you?

You know why I'm here

- I do?

Right, I do.

I forgot.

Sorta like you forgot to pay your rent.

- I didn't forget.

My partner died,

remember?

Well, the wheel of commerce

keep on turning, don't they?

I need time to get the money straight.

Enzo, he did all the books.

That's not my problem.

Unlock my f***ing shop!

I'll tell you what.

I got a better idea

You walk away from the rediculous

lease my father-in-law gave you.

And we call it even.

Consider it a

retirement gift.

That barbershop, that

is my retirement.

And the lease is good,

until I decide to quit.

July and August, 2500, in full

by the end of the month.

Or the padlock

is permanent.

Hello.

- Who's this?

You called me.

- Could you put my mom on the phone?

Val, it's your

kid again.

Oh, hey baby-girl.

- Are you drunk?

How are you?

- You know what, never mind.

Sweetie...

I'm here about the add.

- Yeah.

I've always wanted

to try this.

I see... hair...

as canvas.

I prefer to cut hair naked,

if that's cool with you..

I also do make-up.

Can I keep the

hair I cut?

I'm all about orientation

and exploration.

Cuase I got things I can do

with it in my apartament.

Oh, are these

Boss samplers?

So, how much does the

position pays there, pops?

Don't you call me "pops"!

Right.

How goes the search?

Sorry I missed it.

So, what now?

I'll probably have

couple of beers.

No, I mean after that?

I think I'm probably...

have couple more beers

Can I have one?

You gonna let me cut

your hair?

It's 700 sq. feet.

That'll be 4000 a month.

What the hell are

you doing in my shop?

Good morning. I thought you

didn't come in until 8, so.

Get out!

- Come on.

Get outta here, go, get!

Chop, chop.

It's not for rent.

- Fred, Sheila?

If only your wife's old man knew

how you treat his tenants.

There're not "his" tenants

any more, are they?

I did not put with his sh*t, my wife's

sh*t just to make a squat on this shack.

I'm not gonna wait for another old man

to croak before I make some money on this place.

Ah, relax, you'll

get paid.

We don't do ladies hair

ma'am, sorry.

I hired a new barber.

- Job's been filled?

Where is?

- The new barber.

I'm a licensed cosmetologist.

You're full of crap, Leroldi.

- I'm good with books, too.

You're an accountant?

- Did it for my grandfather's shop.

You wanna meet my new barber?

Here's my new barber.

Uh...

- Gloria.

Now, get the hell

outta my shop.

Sorry, you want one?

- It's 8:
05 in the morning.

Yeah, well, I have

a headache.

So... I have

the job?

You said something about books.

- Also said something about cutting hair.

The ad was for a barber...

- Yeah, barber, male barber.

Doesn't say "male barber".

It just says "barber".

Well it's implied.

How do you spell your last name?

- Excuse me?

Your last name, so my attorney

can file a lawsuit.

Haven't you hear of

gender discrimation?

You said I'm qualified, then you

told this douchebag I had the job

now I don't because I am a woman.

- What?

You can't discriminate against

me based on my sex.

This'll do.

Well, I'm gonna head to the court

now, to file that lawsuit.

Good luck with your

books, Art Leroldi.

Hey baby.

Why can't you park in the lot?

- I gotta to talk to you.

Yeah, I gotta talk

to you too.

You wanna go first?

- You wanna shut this thing off?

I guess...

I'm not sure how to say this,

but I met someone.

We're gettin' married.

What?

- I know, sh*t's crazy, right?

What's your news?

- Are you f***ing kidding me?

Anything else I need to know?

- Yeah, uh...

I'm gonna need

the trailer back.

Alright... Whatever.

I'll be back, get your sh*t

outta my trailer!

Good morning.

- Oh, yeah...

I'm gonna have

you start here.

I can't hire anybody until

I get this junk cleaned up.

Hellooo?

- He's on time.

Who's on time?

Look, I'm gonna try couple

people first first.

I want 200 for the

books, cash, today.

Alright, Stanley, you paying attention?

- Yes, sir.

Think you can do that?

- Yeah, yeah.

Spread your feet apart,

you need some balance.

No, no you go against the green,

otherwise you're not cutting.

Who the hell is this kid?

- It's OK Johnny, relax.

Give me that!

It's about confidence.

There you go.

Love the feeling of a close shave.

- You gotta nice touch there honey.

Art, I'm gonna want her

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