The Virginian

Get along there, dogie!

...she wears a big white hat,

... and I bet your life when I'm in town,

the dudes all hit the flat!"

Come along!

Here we are in Nebraska, and I'm telling

you I'm packing a powerful thirst!

Me for a can of them plums!

I'm going over to Jim's Place and get

a quart of his best juice!

And get off in a corner and

slowly strangle it to death!

Well, I'll be gol-darned!

Steve, you ornery old, low-down

son of a bull-beaver!

You gol-danged buzzard!

- What are you doing here?

- Oh, nothing special!

Well, come inside! I can listen your lies

much better with a drink under my belt!

It's been a long time, boy!

I bet you still drink

that rot-gut bourbon!

I wouldn't insult my stomach with

that red-grain water you drink!

One rye and one bourbon, padre!

Say, I heard about you being a foreman.

Kept me laughing for most of a week!

- What have you been doing?

- Oh, you know...

You no-count weasel!

Just the same as always!

- You're no-count to nobody nowhere!

- That so? Well, I can have my fun!

I ain't been wasting my time working

like you.

Here's mud!

Well, I'll be a ...

Let's see, it's been about 4 years since

we burned up the border down in Texas.

- That's right!

- Ain't you ever going to settle down?

Me? Why should I?

I kinda expected you

at the last roundup.

How about working for me

at the Box H?

Maybe I will...for awhile.

- I bet you five.

- Well, Steve...

I reckon I've got to learn you

all over again!

That's a bet!

Pardon, ma'am. Could I welcome a

stranger with a shot of liquor?

Look out for this hombre! He don't mean

nothing he says and he's flat broke!

Senior, that's too bad!

- And you? - I can toast you with rye

and bourbon until the sun goes down!

- Should we start now?

- Why not?

- You buzzard!

- Stand back, this lady drinks with me!

Two rye and one bourbon, Joe!

- Hello, Trampas!

- Hello, boys!

Rotten whiskey!

Put you boys in line to make some real

money and you throw it away like...

...ordinary cowhands!

Go ahead! Squeeze each other out then

I'll sit down and take it away from you!

Them that don't, Lord soften

their hard hearts!

I don't know what the argument is

between these 2 cowhands ma'am,

but whatever it is, I can settle it

fair and square ...in my favor!

- Howdy, Trampas! When did you blow in?

- Hello, Steve!

Just blowed in to beat your

time with this lady!

Ain't that so, ma'am?

But I promised to drink with these guys!

Yeah?

Well, you and me are leaving, see?

Just one minute please.

Don't look like you're beating anybody's

time, Trampas. Not even your own.

I ain't arguing with you, sweetheart.

I'm telling you!

Please, no argument Trampas.

We're getting along just fine.

Not that it's any of your business!

Who's talking to you?

I'm talking to you, Trampas.

When I want to know anything from you

I'll tell you.

Long-legged son-of-a...

If you want to call me that...

...smile!

With a gun against my belly, I ...

...I always smile.

Mucho lucky, Trampas!

That fellow is a good shot!

He keeps the Mexicans

jumping down the road!

Is that so, Pedro?

I know a fellow what can hit...

...3 whiskey glasses in the air

at the same time!

Boys, sit down and I'll skin the hide

off you in a game of stud!

Boss!

Number 3 can't get to the station because

of the cattle blocking the right-of-way.

Alright, I'll tend to that!

Reckon I better get on down there.

Want to come along?

Sure, I'll help you clean them up.

Hey, listen you! You blow that whistle

again, and I'll blow you out of that cab!

You old sheepherder,

how'd you like that?

Don't call me a sheepherder,

you grizzled old walrus!

Slow down, these cows are just hanging

around your engine to keep warm.

Get them off! I've done my stretch and

I want to go home!

Better get your head back in that cab

before some cow bites it off!

Steve, go down there and bring

the rest of that bunch back.

Peanuts, popcorn, chewing wax!

All kinds of cigars, cigarettes!

We'll be in the station in a minute.

My goodness!

This is terrible!

I never saw so many

wild cows in my life!

- Not much like Vermont, is it?

- I should say not!

Howdy, ma'am!

- Getting off at Medicine Bow?

- Yes...if we ever get there!

Say, you aren't the new waitress for

the Lone Star Hotel, are you?

No, I'm a schoolteacher.

Oh! The new school-marm!

I wasn't expecting anybody

to meet me!

Well, we weren't expecting to meet

you, but here we are ma'am!

Yes ma'am, here we are! And we'll

roundup every maverick kid in Wyoming!

That's fine!

How many children are there?

About 19 counting the Indians

and half-breeds.

He's a lying pole-cat, Miss! There ain't

but 13 all told.

Ma'am, what you gonna learn them kids?

Reading, writing and figuring up figures?

Yes, and history and geography.

I wish those durn critters knew

something about geography!

They ain't got a lick of sense about

knowing where they're at!

Thank you so much.

Now, where do we find the stage?

Follow me, ma'am.

You'll never go astray.

Right this way!

Hey ma'am!

That critter won't hurt you!

I think it's safe now, ma'am.

- Thank you.

- Might lucky thing I happened along.

A wild steer is an awful ornery critter.

It did frighten me. Just for a moment.

If that steer had seen you face-to-face

like I'm doing, he wouldn't be so mean.

- Oh, thank you.

- I'm glad my man got your bags alright.

Take the lady's things right over to

the stagecoach, will you Steven?

Oh, boy!

Come on.

Here, Ellie. You better take your moo-cow

home or your mother will spank you.

Come on, you bad old thing!

Perhaps you'd like to rescue that little

girl from that wild steer!

I'm sure she'd be impressed, but if you

try to make a fool of her...

...she'd probably slap you face!

I'm really obliged to you, sir,

for helping me.

It was a great pleasure, ma'am.

That'll be all, my man!

Here you are!

Take good care of this lady, Ben.

She's a special friend of mine!

I'll take good care of her, Steve.

Who was that man who was so

rude to me?

Just a mangy foreman, ma'am. You don't

have to pay no attention to him!

- Goodbye!

- Goodbye!

Smart, ain't you Steve?

My pal.

In case you got any ideas

about my new lady friend...

...I just want to warn you that

school-marms ain't in your class!

Oh...you're warning me!

Well, Steve...

...usually I just punch a guy

in the nose.

But this time I'm going to throw you

and hog-tie you!

You don't tell me!

Stop this thing now!

You stop this wagon now!

Put them boots on, Pa Hughey!

Oh, Ma!

They are too tight across the bunions!

- Mrs. Taylor won't mind...

- You will put them on!

Land sakes!

Look at all them folks there!

You'd think they were welcoming the

President instead of a school-marm!

- If I get them on, I'll have to cut

them off! - You put them on!

Take your fingers out of them sausages or

you'll get a bellyache...

- ...and your mother will blame me!

- Ma don't care!

Put them both on now!

- I'm coming right over!

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