The War Room

---

1

...with some lingering

clouds around Kodiak Island.

Look for a chance

of overnight showers

along the mountainous areas

of South Eastern Alaska.

And now back to music on KBWZ,

Alaska listens.

Brad?

Wait, you cut out. What?

No, dude,

my parents went to Europe

and they sent us to Alaska

to hang outwith my uncle.

It's fine.

Yeah, my uncle

is a paleontologist.

He collects dinosaur bones. I guess

he's taking us to work with him.

Brad?

Brad? Brad, are you there?

Great, no signal.

Where are we going anyway?

I'll give you a clue.

I got it in here somewhere.

Ah, there we go!

Check it out.

What is it?

That, my friend, is

the tooth of a Gorgosaurus.

- Cool!

- Isn't it?

You know, it was almost as big

as a T-Rex, but way faster.

They roamed the Earth millions of

years ago and they got wiped out.

Their only living descendants

are birds and blah, blah, blah.

Oh, come on, man. You used to love

dinosaurs, you were an expert.

This guy must have

been really scary.

How do you think

he lost his tooth?

- The Gorge?

- Yeah.

I wonder if he was in, like, a huge

fight with a load of other dinosaurs.

My friend, Natalie, she ran into a

flagpole at school and lost two teeth.

There was blood everywhere.

Yeah, a flagpole will do that.

Let's go!

You sure you don't want to come?

I'm not really into

digging up dead things.

All right. Well,

stay close to the truck.

If you change your mind

just follow the trail up.

Got it.

Okay, bud.

Psst!

Psst! Psst!

Hey, kid.

Yeah, you.

I'm talking to you.

What's wrong? You never

heard a bird talk before?

You think you're

pretty smart, don't you?

It's all right.

I'm not offended about

those things you

said about my ancestors.

Totally cool with it.

You should see your ancestors.

Three words:
U-g-ly.

But you know that

every fossil tells a story...

...and this tooth

tells a pretty good one.

So go ahead and pick it up.

Come on, come on, pick it up.

Pick it up, pick it up!

Come on, it won't bite you.

Not anymore, at least.

It will, however, open a

window into the ancient past.

A vibrant world of

wonder and danger,

when dinosaurs

roamed the earth...

...and birds looked

a little more like this.

There, you see? Now we can begin.

And try to keep up, will you?!

70 million years ago, in the late

Cretaceous period of planet Earth...

...there lived a miraculous...

...bird. That's me, Alex!

Alexornis, meaning

Alexander's Bird, insectivore.

Note the beautiful plumage...

...majestic wingspan,

the classically curved beak.

Not to brag, but I am kind

of the whole package.

Of course, if you're familiar

with the Cretaceous Period,

you probably know all of this.

Hmm.

Now watch closely.

This is a delicate operation,

best left to the professionals.

Ah, the enticing smell of decay.

Look at this tartar build-up.

Mmm!

Hey, watch it!

I'm telling you, it's

hard out here for a bird!

But enough about me.

The story you're about to see

concerns a friend of mine.

I gotta say,

it's a pretty good one,

filled with

mystery and adventure...

...hope and despair.

Excuse me while I take

a personal moment. Gotcha!

By the way, this isn't the guy I was

talking about, it's his mother.

She is a Pachyrhinosaurus.

Pachyrhinosaurus, meaning

thick-nosed lizard, herbivore.

But pay attention, because the

adventures of her son, Patchi...

...are the stuff of legend.

Which has nothing to do

with that stuff right there.

Let me at it.

Hey, that's not fair!

There he is!

That's Patchi.

Mm-mm, barf.

The runt of the litter, the guy

at the bottom of

the pecking order.

- Hey, Patchi!

- Can't talk now, Alex!

Trying to work on my

survival instincts!

Excuse me,

Alpha male coming through.

Pardon,

I'm just gonna have a bite.

Back off, Patchi.

What about my fair share?

Your fair share was delicious.

That's my big brother, Scowler.

He's usually really cool.

He just gets weird around puke.

Mm, there's some of it now.

Sometimes you gotta

think outside the nest.

So now I just gotta

get out of the nest.

Troodon, meaning

wounding tooth, omnivore.

Alex might say I'm a runt,

but you gotta start somewhere.

From zero to hero, baby.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, hold on.

I'm the one telling the story!

I have more credibility here.

It's my story, Alex.

Yeah, but I have

a more neutral perspective.

Wait a minute. Are you

really gonna eat that?

You know it. Mom's

cooking, and still warm!

- Uh-oh! Run away!

- Where you going?

All right, more for me.

Seriously, there's

a big monster behind you!

Sure, there's a big monster

behind you too!

So much for your

survival instincts!

Help!

Okay, so I quickly learned that

not everybody

eats puked-up leaves.

There are things out here

called meat-eaters.

Exactly, and you, my friend,

are made up almost entirely of meat.

Hey, put me down!

I am not a chew toy!

PATCHY. Good thing

my dad showed up.

That's Bulldust,

Patchi's 6, 000-pound papa.

Nobody messes with him.

Hey, Dad, little help?

Oh! Whoa! Whoa!

Thank you!

Medic!

Classic Dad.

He was a man of few words.

Actually,

he was a man of one word.

That one.

Huh? What is that?

That, my friend,

is a hole in your head.

But don't worry, one day that hole

will be filled with greatness.

Right!

Plus you can hardly see it.

Especially if you don't look at it.

Besides...

mistakes are

natural at a young age.

Look at that!

Leaving the nest

was totally worth it!

Hey, what's going on up there?

What is this?

That is the price

of leaving the nest.

Oh, who are you?

You're pretty cool.

Come over here!

Where you going?

Hey, don't be afraid.

I'm not gonna eat

you or anything.

He will.

Hey, there. Name's Patchi.

Wanna be friends?

Wait, wait! Wait up!

I don't always smell like this!

I'm just covered in

poop at the moment!

Aw, come on! Are we playing tag?

Is that what this is?

Okay, I guess

I'm it then, right?

Whoa.

Ankylosaur, meaning

fused lizard, herbivore.

This thing is huge!

Which means I should probably

steer clear of his butt.

Good for you, Patchi.

You're learning.

Wow! This is the most beautiful

place I've ever seen.

It's a future oil field,

so don't get too attached.

Hey! Pick on

someone your own size!

Uh, you know, I mean, if that's

a convenient option for you.

Oop, there he goes.

You lost him.

Hesperonychus, meaning

western claw, carnivore.

No, I didn't mean me!

Oh, you misunderstood!

I meant my brother!

Yeah, he's bigger, he's meatier.

He's a lot slower!

Oh, he's so tender... Oh!

Hey, Ma. Oh, I had it,

but thanks for showing up.

And so, with

a little help from Mom...

...Patchi returned from his first

adventure a little bit wiser...

...and a whole lot smellier.

Hey, guys, you are not gonna

believe what just happened to me.

Oh, my gosh! Did you just

take a poop shower?!

No.

Maybe.

Define poop shower.

They were all jealous, Patchi,

'cause you'd been out in the world.

You were on your way

to becoming a grownup.

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes