The Wash

Synopsis: With the rent due and his car booted, Sean (Dr. Dre) has to come up with some ends...and fast. When his best buddy and roommate Dee Loc (Snoop Dogg), suggests that Sean get a job busting suds down at the local car wash, the first order of business is impressing Mr. Washington (George Wallace) the gun-toting, dominoes-playing owner of The Wash. Unaware that the two are roomies, Mr. Washington hires Sean as Dee Loc's supervisor. Comic tensions flare between the two, especially when Dee Loc suspects Sean of trying to slow his roll with the side hustles he's got going on in the car wash parking lot...and with the ladies in the locker room. But there are bigger things to worry about at The Wash. One is the menacing phone calls from a disgruntled employee, and the other is figuring out how to get money to pay off the kidnappers who've snatched Mr. Washington! If Sean, Dee Loc, and the rest of the gang don't settle their differences and get Mr. Washington back, the good times at The Wash will
Genre: Comedy
Director(s): DJ Pooh
Production: Lions Gate Films
 
IMDB:
4.7
Metacritic:
18
Rotten Tomatoes:
8%
R
Year:
2001
93 min
$9,756,000
Website
905 Views


( rap music playing )

THE WASH:

( rap music continues )

- Get me a box of them condoms.|- Okay.

And give me some of that|fruit-flavored lubricant, too.

Give me some of them blunts,|Mexicali.

I want some incense.

Try to get|this motherf***er fixed.

Oh, but she's still--

She's still dancing.

I don't f*** with a b*tch|unless she gives me ass.

Buy her something to drink,|it's a guarantee.

( police siren sounding )

Rider:
God damn!

Nephew, go get them off.

Man, I don't know|them niggas.

Why don't you|roll up there with me?

Quit acting scared.

We both go up there|it'll look like something's up.

You know niggas|get real paranoid

when they see a gang|of motherfuckers walking up.

Sojust get the ho's|and hurry up.

You're probably right.

F*** it.|Hold this for me.

Nigga, make sure|you watch my back.

Nigga, if you need me,|just whistle.

Come on, nigga.

Oh, excuse me, man.|What's up?

What do you mean,|''What's up,'' nigga?

- This nigga's got into some sh*t.|- No, I don't mean it like that.

- I mean, what's happening?|- What's happening here?

I'm trying to find out if|Diane and Vickey live here.

What are you,|the police or something?

Wait wait wait.|Hold up, homie. Hold up.

Hold up?

Check this sh*t out.|You hold up.

( starts car )

Look, man, I want no problems.|I ain't come for all that.

Sh*t.

It's too late for that, nigga.

Woman:
What you doing?

- What you talking about?|- What you doing?

- Man:
You know this nigga?|- Yeah! That's Sean.

- Sean, that's my brother Maniac.|- What's up, man?

Maniac:
Let's roll, man.

All right, boy,|I'll see you later.

Your mama.

Why the f*** your people|tripping on me like that?

Driver:
Hey, babies.|Vickey and Diane.

- Man's best friends.|- Hey.

Smelling good, looking good.

- How come you didn't come help me?|- Come help?

You didn't see them niggas|pull a strap on me?

Them niggas pulled|a strap on you just now?

Look, man, I saw you|start the f***ing car up.

Woman:
Let's go.

Did you see anyone|pull a strap on him?

- Let's go.|- F*** it, let's just go.

- F*** this.|- Quit tripping.

Let me get these lights.

Woman:
Sean,|you got some hot sauce?

I hope you got|some hot sauce real hot,

'cause it'd be the sh*t|with this chicken.

- Sean:
Something old or new?|- Definitely something old school.

Why you all in|my chicken box?

I got something they don't have|any motherfuckin' more.

( funk music playing loudly )

( music thumping )

Hey!!

Turn that sh*t down!

Stupid young n*ggers|making all that noise.

I'll call the police.

Turn that sh*t down!!

( banging on wall )

Hey!!

Shut the f*** up, old man.

Quit beating|on my motherfucking wall!

Beat these nuts if|you want to beat something.

( banging )

God damn!

Who the f***'s knocking|on the door like the police!

Hey, y'all,|it is the police!

Turn that sh*t down.|Put this sh*t out.

Oh, how are you,|officers?

How are you doing? Can you step|away from the door, please?

Yeah, we got a call|about the music.

I don't hear any music. But we'll try|to keep it down for you.

Don't try, son.|Do it.

And burn some incense|or something.

Shut the f*** up,|Dee Loc nigga.

Turn that sh*t back up, cuz.

( music playing loudly )

Announcer:
Wake your ass up, Cali.|It is Westside Radio.

We're gonna have|a hot morning.

I've got a lot of cool stuff.|Request lines are open.

I wanna know what you wanna hear.|We got a lot of giveaways,

and we've got a world premiere|for you this morning.

Dr. Dre and Snoop Dog|world premiere.

Do not touch the dial,

it is Westside Radio banging|through your speakers.

California love, y'all,|Julio G.

( soul music playing )

- ( knocking on door )|- Sean: Dee!

Hey!

Nigga,|you ain't going to work?

Yeah,|I'm going to work, cuz.

I'm just weak at the knees.|I need an hour worth of rest.

I'm gonna head up|to the unemployment office.

None of them white folks|ain't fixin' to do sh*t for you.

Quit bullshitting|and come down to The Wash.

That don't sound like|a bad idea.

Think I might roll up here|and see what they're talking about.

All right, cuz, in a minute.

Yeah... look like y'all had|more fun than I did.

Little sh*t!

- ( knocking on door )|- Sean: What is it?

Three day notice?

Sh*t!

- Hey!|- I said no!

Nigga, stop, damn!

Get your ass up.|It's time to go.

Leave me alone, Sean.|Leave me alone.

Wastin' my goddamn money.

B*tch.

Sean:
Motherfuckers!

( honking )

YOU WANNA SUE?|Call the Law Offices of Pooh Parker

What's up, bro'?

Hey, give a nigga a ride|or something, man!

Man in car:
You got|some weed?

That's f***ed up!

I gotta get|my sh*t together.

( baby crying )

( chatter )

Excuse me, baby.|Excuse me.

THE WASH:

- Do some freestyle, homie.|- You want my sh*t?

- Yeah.|- All right,

I'll pour my heart out.|All right.

Wisdom, which means|wise words being spoken

Get on the mic and watch|the mic start smokin'--

Hey, hold on.|Ain't that Rakeem rhymes you biting?

Yeah.

No. That's my--|I wrote that.

Nigga, please.

Let me bang y'all something-- ooh!--|real hot right here, man!

This right here's going out|to my homies at The Wash,

'cause I know they're|getting their wash on!

Get my back,|I got this one, all right?

Come on. Come on!

Yo, Juan!

Let's see what|this motherf***er can do.

( rap music playing )

I don't listen to cops,|my system knocks late night

Everything from my paint|to my registration type

Keep it moving smooth|like I'm skating on ice

Till I stop painting|it's just another day in the life

I'll be riding high...

Hey, how you doing?|Is your owner around?

Damn, what did I do?

Must have got up on the wrong|side of the bed this morning.

Look, I'm just trying|to find out if the owner's here.

- What do you want with him?|- I came to inquire about the job.

The assistant manager|position?

Yeah.

- Oh, is that right?|- That's right.

I'll see if he's in.

Wait here.

You know you screwed up.|You know you screwed up.

I'll be with you in a minute.|You know it don't make no sense.

You putting wax|on the lady's gas pedal.

Wax goes on the car,|not the gas pedal!

- But I--|- But I, my ass!

You know that lady's old.|Her foot slipped off the pedal,

she ran into a tree|and they're suing me.

You gonna give me some|free overtime for this one.

And I need somebody to cover|for Chris since I let him go.

- You fired Chris?|- Yes, I fired Chris!

This is my place, and the same|can happen to your ass!

- I know, sir.|- Go home

before I exercise that option!

Wouldn't be saying this if I didn't|need this job for this halfway house.

Say what?

I heard that.

I know you don't|want me to call your P.O.

- And I don't mean the post office.|- I didn't say nothing,

Mr. Washington, sir.

You never do.

Antoinette?|What was it you wanted?

There's some guy talking about|he's trying to get a job.

- Is he clean?|- Probably not.

- Let me check.|- Bring him back here.

Hope he's better than|the last person we had.

All right, turn around.

- Turn around!|- Damn!

Damn!

( beeping )

- What's that?|- Pager.

Rate this script:4.0 / 3 votes

DJ Pooh

Mark Jordan (born June 29, 1966 in Los Angeles, California), better known by his stage name DJ Pooh is an American record producer, voice actor, rapper, screenwriter, actor and film director. more…

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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