The Wash Page #2

Turn it off and turn it back on!

- ( beeping )|- Okay. Go ahead.

Yes sir-ee, Bob.

Whoo!|Those were the days.

Come have a seat.

Now...

I was your age on this one.

You had to be tough back there.

And that's what I'm|looking for-- somebody tough.

Someone able to give orders|and take them.

- You think you can handle that?|- Sir, yes, sir.

I can handle that,|Mr. Washington.

Call me Mr. Washington.|Tell me about yourself.

Well... um...

I was working--

I had a job as assistant manager|at the Footlocker.

- What happened at the Footlocker?|- I got laid off.

Yeah? Wasn't no|funny business, was it?

No. No, sir.

- No, sir.|- You sure?

No, wasn't nothing|like that.

Things got a little slow and...

of course you know|who's the first to go.

Uh-uh.|All niggas say that.

Well... okay.

SUPER COPS SECURITY

( honking )

I understand how hard it is for|young Black minorities to getjobs,

but you known what?|I'll fire your n*gger ass too!

You probably walked|by here a thousand times

and didn't know you|were looking at a gold mine.

Uh-uh... but you know|all that glitters ain't gold.

But I can tell you one thing,

everything that comes|out of here may not glitter,

but it damn sure sparkles!

- Ain't nothing wrong with that.|- Let me show you around.

Here's something|for the bucket going through.

Hey, officer,|what's happening?

- Just securing the perimeter, family.|- I see.

- Radio:
Large fries?|- That's a 1 0-4.

That's my lazy ass nephew.

I take it you've met Antoinette.

Antoinette, herjob is to ring|up the tickets and total the sales.

We're about to hit you with|the number one video, here it is.

Antoinette,

say hello|to your new boss, Sean.

Hey, how you doing?

Hey!|Where are you going, son?

- I gotta booboo.|- Not today.

Get your ass back out there|on that line.

Let me show you something.|''I gotta booboo.''

Let him booboo|on his own time.

Well...

what'd you think?

About what?

Ooh-hh!

- Is this you?|- Yes, sir!

A '77 ''El Do.''|This is a cold piece.

Dee Loc didn't tell me|he had a player for a boss.

Yeah, I--|Dee Loc?

Dee Loc's the one|who told you about this job?

- Yeah.|- Where the f*** is he?

- He's supposed to be here by 8:00.|- I don't know.

- I think he had car problems.|- That's typical.

I won't have that problem|with you, am I?

Cause if I am, I'll fire|your ass before I hire you!

Come on!

It ain't a hard job.|You think you can handle that?

- I wouldn't be here if I couldn't.|- I think you can, too.

Just do the best you can,|that's all.

- Uh-oh.|- ( honking )

Oh, boy.

Mr. Washington,|you want something?

- No thank you.|- You sure? It's not a problem.

I'm cool. I'm cool.

Oh, boy.

Sean:
Let me get a|steak with cheese burrito.

Mr. Wash, don't you see|how hard we're working?

I see how hard|you're about to work me.

Well, actually--|actually, me and--

me and Li'l Dee right here,

we were thinking how it sure would|be time to start upping our pay.

Yeah.

- Upping your pay?|- Yeah.

First of all,|you ain't thinking.

Second of all, when y'all find|''upping'' in the dictionary,

that's when I'll do that.|But until then,

y'all need to be upping your ass|over on that line.

A**hole and A**hole Light.

Mother--

I told you|not to f*** with him!

What?!

- You stupid.|- Man, look...

ON THE AIR:

Announcer:
I told about|this earlier this morning,

I got a world premiere for you,|so get your tape decks ready.

It's going dow like this,

Dr. Dre and Snoop Dog|world premiere. West Coast!

- It switches for the b*tches!|- What's up, my nigga?

Yeah, I'm chillin'.|Top of the motherfuckin' morning.

Hey, what you all think it is,|a parking lot?

Get your ass back to work!

- I'm going to lunch.|- You ain't been here two hours.

I'm taking it early.

Sh*t, now I got to cover|the register.

So you finally decided|to come to work?

- What's your excuse for today?|- How you doin', Mr. Wash?

- What's up, Dee?|- Hey, my nookie.

- You eating that bullshit, huh?|- I told him.

What's wrong?

I only get drinks|from that motherf***er.

- This man told me you referred him.|- Yeah, that's my nigga.

He's a good dude. Clean-cut dude.|Suit-and-tie type of nigga.

- Real professional.|- Yeah?

( burps )

Goddamn!

- Jesus Christ!|- Nasty motherf***er!

Damn.

You'll be doing|that sh*t all day.

Let's cut the small talk.

Dee, get your ass|over on the line.

Bear and Jimmy|don't do sh*t without you.

We got to cover the register.|That girl's gone to lunch.

Man:
Hey, Dee.

- What's up, cuz?|- Man!

I told you don't come|into this motherf***er.

- You've got the sh*t?|- I've got the sh*t.

And I've got|some sore balls.

Hurry up,|my boss is here.

I've been riding all day, man.

All the way|from Humboldt County.

- On that load, motherf***er?|- Yeah.

Check it out, bro'.

Okay, listen.

I'm not selling weed,|you dig?

But I can sell you the bong.|And the weed's free.

- All right.|- That way I'm not dealing.

- Cool.|- Okay.

Okay, now... here.

That's half a pound.|And I got--

this is for|a quarter of an ounce.

No, that's an ounce.

No that's a quarter,|that's an ounce.

This is a quarter, okay?

I've got some really dynamite--|oh here it is.

Dee:
Dynamite, huh?

Check it out. This sh*t|will knock you on your ass.

Oh, sh*t!

- That's what I'm talking about.|- Hey, that ain't nothing.

- Look at this.|- That little sh*t?

This will knock you on your ass.|This is from South Africa.

It's Durban Poison.

It's the weirdest sh*t.|It's like psychedelic.

I smoked it two days ago.

I've been riding the scooter|since Humboldt County.

That smoke will get you|all wired up.

It's the greatest stuff|I've ever smoked.

And it's just pure smoke. I can let|you have everything for five grand.

I ain't got|no motherfuckin' $5,000.

Come on, look at you.

You're rich. Come on,|five grand, that's cheap.

Check it out. I've got four or|five hundred I can spend with you.

$500?

Okay, you can have|it all for $500. Except this.

- Let me get that too.|- No, I can't let you have it.

I need to drive home.|I'll need this.

Cool. All right.

Done dizzle, manizzle.

I'll meet you out front|in two minutes.

Okay.

( phone ringing )

- Washington:
Hello?|- Good morning. Mr. Washington?

Man:
How's your day going?|Good.

'Cause the rest of your day's|gonna be f***ed!!

You f***ed with|the wrong motherf***er, a**hole!

I'm gonna f***ing kill you.

I'm gonna f***ing kill you!!

I got the motherfucking AK

And I'm gonna spray every|motherf***er from around your way

I got the motherfuckin' Glock

And I'm comin' on|your motherfuckin' block!

How some fool|get my private line?

Probably wonder|how I got this number, huh?

( razzes )

Recording:
Good morning,|Mr. Washington.

How's your day going?|Good.

The rest of your day's|gonna be f***ed!!

( screaming )

My nigga.|So you got the job, huh?

You know it.|That's good looking out, my nigg.

- Charge it.|- And guess what?

- What's happening?|- I'm your boss.

Ain't that a b*tch!

You're a fool for that.

So you can pay your half|of the rent now.

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