The Wash Page #3

Man, you stupid.

( stomach growling )

- Damn!|- What's up with you?

It's a little gas|or something.

- I'll be all right.|- Sh*t! That's what you think.

Man, that sh*t from|that truck's killing me.

Where do you think they get|the meat to cook that bullshit?

So they gave a nigga|a people burrito?

Basically.

It's a trip.

You noticed the day goes by|real fast when we're working?

Don't seem like that to me.

Maybe you need to get busy|and do some work.

I do enough not to get fired.

Dog, you ain't gonna get fired.

He loves making threats.|He wants to scare you.

I don't know about that.

Did you know...|Mr. Washington fired Chris?

He fired Chris?

Chris Chris?

You don't see him around,|do you?

Whoa! No sh*t!

Damn!

Antoinette:
Is my ride|out there, Juan?

You don't pay me to be no look out.|That's my otherjob.

It's out there, baby,|the one with the gold D's.

Let's shake,|rattle and roll.

Please, I would never mess|with nobody that works here.

We can work together,|play together.

- It won't affect our performance.|- That ain't nothing to do with it.

I don't want no nigga|making less than me.

- Ain't that a b*tch!|- That's keeping it real real, ese.

- ( honking )|- That must be my ride.

Tell Mr. Wash I bounced.

Announcer:
He's single teamed,|he's double teamed...

Oh, man,|they've triple teamed Kobe!

( passing gas )

Oh, sh*t!

God damn it, Kobe,|pass the ball! Sh*t!

Announcer:
Shaq dives for it...

Calm down, Dee Loc.

What's wrong, nigga?|You got the bubblies?

- F*** you!|- ( passing gas )

I need to use your restroom.

Hold on, baby.|Let me get this nigga out of there.

Dee:
I told you about|f***in' with that roach coach.

- ( knocking on door )|- Sean, hurry up!

My baby gotta use|the bathroom.

Look out for your nephew|one time.

Sean:
All right.

I'm wrapping it up right now!

Can you, like,|say, hurry up?

Please? Please?

Dee:
You know what I'm saying?

( knocking on door )

Damn!

Dee:
Please,|please, please.

Dee:
Come on, you holding|my fave thing up.

Sh*t!

- ( knocking )|- Dee: Sean!

Nigga, she don't want|to come in here right now.

- Aww, sh*t!|- They turned the damn water off.

God damn!

I'm calling|the motherfuckin' landlord.

- They turned the water off.|- You gotta be motherfuckin'joking.

I'll call this landlord|and see what's happening.

Francis residence.|May I help you?

This is your tenant|from apartment 1 3.

Apartment 1 3.

- Dee Loc.|- What may I help you with?

We're having technical difficulties|with our water system.

- The sh*t ain't workin' no more.|- Yes.

You gave us a three day notice,|why the water ain't on?

Go and check and see|if it's working now.

Dee:
Hold on.

No, the sh*t ain't working.

- ( exhales deeply )|- Exactly.

Which means I can do|what I want to with my water.

Hey, nigga, you ain't got to be|acting like that.

I told you we gonna|pay the motherfuckin' rent.

Yes, I do. You're running up|my water bill and not paying rent.

- We gonna pay the rent.|- When?

In two days, nigga.

In two days,|you'll get your water back on.

Hello?

- Dee:
Hello?|- Forget about it.

- He's already hung up.|- B*tch!

Girl:
Baby, I got to pee.

- I don't care if it flushes or not.|- Dee: Oh yes, you do.

You can't go in there.|That sh*t's ugly.

I'm gonna bust a bag|holding it for so long.

I'm sick of this sh*t.|What are we gonna do about it?

We still got|a couple of days, right?

I got my half|of the rent right now.

Why don't you pay that sh*t|since you're ballin' so tough?

I look like|''Boo-boo the Fool''?

- You said we got a couple of days.|- Yeah.

We got a couple of days, then.|Grab your sh*t.

We're going to your spot.|Gonna get the sh*t cozy.

Look at them roaches, dog.

Oh, it's like that, huh?

( phone ringing )

( phone continues ringing )

Good morning, a**hole.

Wanted to start your day|by saying f*** you, a**hole!

( razzes )

This prank's going|too goddamn far!

( screaming )

Washington:
Huh-uh.

He's a good worker.

The boy's got potential.

What the--

What the hell?|I know damn well.

You know what|irritates me the most?

What?

Somebody standing over my shoulder|when I'm trying to work.

Sean! Sean!

I need to see you in my office.

- Hey, Loc?|- What are you saying?

Ain't that one of your ''thizzles''?

I gotta talk this b*tch up.

If she doesn't thizzle,|I'll be right bizzle.

Handle that|while I handle that.

What are you doin' coming here?|Trying to get me in trouble?

- I want some, baby.|- You had some last night.

That was then,|and this is now.

All right, get out.|I got somewhere we can roll to.

Sh*t!

You gonna get me in trouble,|looking all good like this.

Whoo!

Washington:
Yes, sir.|You know who that is?

You know what that is?

Look at that.

- What the--|- Stealing.

Washington:
That's right.

( sighs )

I'll run it again for you.

I'll run it again for you.

Uh-uh.

Stealing.

Stealing!

I got nothing against your boy,|but nobody's stealing from me!

Maybe these automatic brushes|ain't a bad idea after all.

They don't steal.

You thinking about getting|those brushes installed?

Oh yeah.

- Can you believe that?|- Would make things run smoother.

I'm gonna put|this one on you.

You decide whether|he stays or goes.

Second day on the job, and you're|making corporate decisions.

Go make me proud of you, son.

Oh, Loc must be gettin'|on the girl!

I know what I'd be doing.|I'd be...

Yeah, jacking off on your boss.

- What?!|- ( screaming )

Rape!!

Mamma!

- He gonna hurt me!|- Is that all you do is play?

Where's Dee Loc?

I haven't seen him, boss.

( laughing )

Look, man, I'm serious.|Mr. Washington's looking for him.

Oh sh*t!|Baby, we should split up.

- And we'll meet back here!|- I'll check around back.

Exclusive, think--

How you doin'?

- F*** you!|- Right!

- Right. Cool.|- Jimmy. Listen to me.

- What's happening?|- I want the special.

I want the tutti-frutti|rooty-tooty special.

- Tutti--|- I want the tires done.

I want the Armour All.|I want the wax. Got that?

- All right.|- I got something for you...

( screaming )

What the f***?!

You gotta get me out.|F***ing get me out of here.

I f***ed this guy's sister.|Please!

- I didn't mean to f*** her.|- No, I can't help.

- B*tch!|- Got that? Hey!

- What the-- get the f*** out of here.|- I ain't seen nothing.

You, you stuttering|rat bastard.

Soprano! Soprano!

I got you a f***in' Soprano,|you fruitcake!

Dee!

- Vickey:
Oh, sh*t, Dee Loc.|- ( Dee moaning )

- Dee:
Sh*t!|- ( Vickey moaning )

Vickey:
Yeah.

( Vickey moaning )

Yeah, baby.

Come on.

- Dee:
Right in there?|- Vickey: Yeah.

Oh, that's my spot.

Vickey:
Yeah, Dee Loc,|come on.

Yeah, baby.

Yeah.

Damn!

Dee, is that you?

Vickey:
Come on.

- Both:
Ooh, sh*t!|- Dee!

- I'm coming, nigga!|- Vickey: Oh, sh*t!

Dog, you trippin'.

Dee:
I'm coming, dog!

Dee:
Ooh, sh*t!

Dee!

Ah, sh*t!

Dee:
I'm comin', nigga.

( toilet flushing )

What, nigga?|You see what I got crackin'?

We need to talk.

About what?

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