The Wash Page #4

Synopsis: With the rent due and his car booted, Sean (Dr. Dre) has to come up with some ends...and fast. When his best buddy and roommate Dee Loc (Snoop Dogg), suggests that Sean get a job busting suds down at the local car wash, the first order of business is impressing Mr. Washington (George Wallace) the gun-toting, dominoes-playing owner of The Wash. Unaware that the two are roomies, Mr. Washington hires Sean as Dee Loc's supervisor. Comic tensions flare between the two, especially when Dee Loc suspects Sean of trying to slow his roll with the side hustles he's got going on in the car wash parking lot...and with the ladies in the locker room. But there are bigger things to worry about at The Wash. One is the menacing phone calls from a disgruntled employee, and the other is figuring out how to get money to pay off the kidnappers who've snatched Mr. Washington! If Sean, Dee Loc, and the rest of the gang don't settle their differences and get Mr. Washington back, the good times at The Wash will
Genre: Comedy
Director(s): DJ Pooh
Production: Lions Gate Films
 
IMDB:
4.7
Metacritic:
18
Rotten Tomatoes:
8%
R
Year:
2001
93 min
$9,756,000
Website
921 Views


Oh, don't tell me.|You got your half of the rent?

Why you try to clown me?|I ain't got a check.

And put that sh*t out|before Mr. Washington comes.

- He's already pissed off at you.|- What is he pissed offfor?

- It's worse than you think.|- Worse than I think?

Stall me out with that mystery sh*t|and tell me what's poppin'.

Okay, look...

boss man got you on tape|stealing supplies.

- And he sent me to fire your ass.|- Fire me?

Who the f*** is you?|The car wash detective?

Get the f*** out of my face,|''Crowjack.''

Whatever. Like I said,|boss man got you on tape stealing.

And he left it up to|me whether or not you stay.

So what's your decision, boss?

I guess you can stay...

for now.

Ain't that a b*tch?

You finished?|What's the problem, Loc?

Can you believe this motherfuckin'|Sean threatened to fire me?

- Who the f*** he think he is?!|- That's your homie, boss.

- I mean, your boss, homie.|- Kick back with that bullshit.

I'm in no mood to play.

Loc, if I were you,|I'd ''bam''!

I'd ''bim''!|Sleep.

Shut the f*** up.|I'm gonna take a smoke break.

Hey, Jimmy!

- What's up?|- Check this out. Look at this nigga.

Can't believe this motherf***er|let his job go to his head.

And I'm the one|who put him on.

Mr. Washington is thinking|about getting those new brushes.

Oh yeah?

That electric sh*t.

- Khakis all kicked up his ass!|- They probably a thong.

You talking about them brushes|like they cool.

But if he gets the brushes,|I'm fired,

'cause that's what I do.

It is what it is.

Can't believe this nigga.|B*tches, man.

- Let's go smoke some.|- Hey, might as well start.

Motherf***er Sean thinks|he got a real job, huh?

( cell phone rings )

I don't blame him|for being pissed, though.

That n*gger also blow bullshit.

- That's what I'm talkin' about.|- ( coughing )

- This sh*t is poppin' now.|- ( coughing )

- I'm taking the rest of the day off.|- What about your boy Sean?

F*** that nigga. He can't|even pay his half of the rent.

Oh, broke ass nigga!

You the fool.|I'm high as f***.

( rap music playing )

You know when yes means yes

You can stand by your word|'cause your word is your balls

Lose one,|you're losing them all

All hell or alcohol

'Cause it's my turn now...

Whoa, whoa,|what the f*** you doin'?

Is that Windex?|You putting Windex on my tires?

- That's just a little something.|- Does that look that a window?

- No, that ain't a window.|- Can you see though this?

- You insulting my intelligence?|- Yeah.

- You don't put Windex on tires.|- I'm a professional.

- Get your manager right now.|- Whoa, what's the problem?

- Are you the manager?|- Yeah.

- Are you the manager?|- I am.

Mighty Mouse put some Windex|on my f***ing tires.

You're putting Windex|on tires again?

- I thought he was a professional.|- That's what I do.

Let me handle this.|Give me a minute.

- Yeah, go ahead, man.|- I'm a professional. You lucky.

Let's straighten out everything.|I'm sorry about that.

Let's straighten this out.

- All right.|- There you go.

- A free car wash?|- Yeah, anytime you need.

I don't want no f***ing|free car wash.

I need my money back.

You'd need to give|me three or four of these.

- What the f*** is this?|- I got it for you.

If you're gonna be a dick about it,|take your ass up the street!

F*** you,|old trout-mouthed ass nigga.

What you doing? Shouldn't you|be down there getting wet?

Having a cigarette break.

Cuz, I'm about to ride on this nigga.|I'll holler back at you.

Sean:
Hey, Dee!

- Need to holler at ya.|- Hey, y'all,

I gotta go|to a dentist appointment.

Dee!

Dee!

( honking )

Do come again.

Excuse me.|Do you know who cleaned my car?

What? It wasn't me.|I ain't took sh*t.

Did I say you took anything?

- You must have did it.|- Check this out, homegirl.

If I'm gonna take something,|it's gonna be real.

Ain't gonna be|no few punk ass dollars.

First of all, I didn't|even tell you what was taken.

And I wouldn't give|a damn if it was a dime.

- It's still mine.|- Don't be coming at me like that.

- You don't know me.|- Okay, so you bad now?

- Yeah.|- Okay.

You're right, I don't know you.|And you don't know me.

Look, here.|Here, here.

Nothing but|a few punk-ass dollars.

Put that back|in your pocket.

- I'm straight.|- What?

I'm trying|to give you back your money.

Know what I'm saying?

Hey!

Announcer:
The Hawks get|the opening tip to start the game.

It's knocked away.|Stolen.

There's the entry pass|to the paint.

Sh*t!

Finally some peace and quiet.

Damn!

Gotta get that goddamn boot|off my car.

Sh*t!

Sh*t!

Announcer:
Westside Radio in your|earhole. Julio G. right here.

Across from me, DJ Jam.|It's the 7:00 mix.

Jam, drop the beat for me,|homeboy!

- ( music playing )|- That is my song, girl!

Diane:
Right there!|I have to turn that up.

( music playing louder )

Oh, man,|this motherf***er!

Can you turn it down some?

Dee!

Would you turn it down some?

Look, I've been at work all day!|And I'm tired.

I'm trying to relax.|Won't you turn it down some?

Nigga,|if you're trying to relax,

take your b*tch ass|to the Snooty Fox.

This the spot, motherf***er.

- And get the f*** out of my face.|- Who the f*** you talking to?

Holy sh*t, I can't believe|this nigga...

Nigga, what you wanna do?!

You know what? You need to quit it|with that tough guy act.

This ain't no act,|I'm serious with this.

- You trippin', homeboy.|- Nigga,

just give me my f***ing half|of the rent.

Anyway, we don't need him|to have a good time.

Vickey:
Come on baby.|Sit down.

- ( door slamming )|- Dee: Nigga, I'm Dee Loc.

I pay the cost|to be the boss.

- Punk motherf***er!|- Vickey: That's right, baby.

( rap music )

When motherfuckers|be all in your ear and sh*t

Know what I'm saying?

Or that naggin' b*tch

Just likes to hear herself talk

Going on your highway

That's some f***ed-up sh*t

But it happens

Know what I'm saying...?

How many of you got it?

How many motherfuckers|can say they're psychotic?

How many motherfuckers can say|their brain dry-rotted from pot?

You got it like I got it|or not?

Man:
Car's ready!

Dee:
Juan,|see you in a minute, cuz.

There are some stank ho's|in these videos!

They're all right to me.|They look cool.

You know what?|It's almost time for me to go.

All right.|Thanks for the ride.

I was about to say|the same thing.

( laughing )

You crazy boy,|get out of here.

- I'm gonna holler at you tomorrow.|- Okay.

- Okay?|- All right.

Mark?

You got a few dollars I can borrow|to get something from the mall?

You ask like you're asking|for something off the ice cream truck.

But you're my boo.|I do anything for my boo.

See what we got in here.|Whap-- whap-- whap--

all day, all you need.|Here you go, how does that look?

- I can make it work.|- Make it work, make it work.

...78, 79--|Sir, do you mind leaving?

- You talking to me?|- No, I'm talking to you.

- I'm with my baby.|- I don't give a f***!

Bounce your ass|out of here in that rubber suit!

- All right.|- With your punk ass!

The police's probably|gonna arrest you...

Rate this script:4.0 / 3 votes

DJ Pooh

Mark Jordan (born June 29, 1966 in Los Angeles, California), better known by his stage name DJ Pooh is an American record producer, voice actor, rapper, screenwriter, actor and film director. more…

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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    "The Wash" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 22 Dec. 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/the_wash_23100>.

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