The Way the End Begins Page #5

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presented to him,

and he has to carry

his goods on his back.

A pilgrim is poor,

and must suffer.

It strikes me as extreme to say

the only way to be a true pilgrim is to

imitate what we like to think

a true pilgrim is.

Should a pilgrim dress himself

as a beggar even if he isn't?

Do we honour the poor by imitating them?

I don't think that pilgrims

ignored the creature comforts

of the road any more than we should now.

Yeah, and what about pilgrims

on bikes,

or pilgrims that do the Camino

on horseback?

Now, tradition would dismiss bikers,

at least.

Biking or riding requires

less suffering and less work.

The difficulty of the walk is inherent

in walking.

But I don't think we have to

artificially add more hardship

than is already there.

That, in my opinion, is being

a false pilgrim, not a true one.

If you were a man,

I would challenge you

to pistols at dawn.

What do you think, Boomer?

Finally! An American without an opinion.

Take a picture.

- Morning, sunshine.

- Oh!

Hey.

Where are the guys?

Out gathering some provisions

from the local farms.

- Like true pilgrims?

- Yeah.

So you weren't even

gonna say goodbye, Boomer?

Yeah, well...

What are you doing out here, Tom?

Besides taking a really long walk.

Why do you care?

Joost told me you're a doctor?

- Yeah.

- What do you practise?

I'm an ophthalmologist.

- An eye doctor.

- Yeah.

Oh! So,

you help people see the world

a little better, huh?

Yeah, that's one way to put it.

- I got it.

- No, no.

I...

Sorry.

Three cheers for the true pilgrims!

Hot bread and coffee for everyone!

Oranges, apples, see?

We're living off the land.

This is the way it's supposed to be.

- Hey, Tom.

- Hey.

How about one?

- Sleep well?

- Yeah.

- No, gracias.

- Do we have knives?

We don't need knives. Just rip it apart.

Orange, Tom? Hey? Orange?

No, thank you.

We'll have this coffee on the go.

You okay, Tom?

Yeah, I'm fine.

Tom.

I'm sure the last thing in the world

you want to do

is have a conversation with me.

You'd be right about that.

Tom, your son...

Joost told me.

I'm so sorry. I had no idea.

Joost told you, huh? That figures.

I don't know what to say, but...

The way you touched me,

grabbed my arm, just...

I mean, in my other life,

my life before the Camino,

I was married.

I was married and I was pregnant.

My first, my only.

But my husband was not

a kind man,

so I terminated.

I got rid of my baby girl, Tom.

I didn't want the son of a b*tch

to have two of us to beat up on.

Sometimes I hear her voice.

My baby.

I know it sounds crazy because she never

got to take her first breath,

but I imagine what she would have

sounded like.

And sometimes I hear her, Tom.

Sometimes I swear I can hear her.

I'm sorry about your baby.

I'm sorry about yours.

My son was almost 40.

Yeah, but he'll always be your baby.

Well.

Pilgrims, we have arrived.

I'm gonna get us a bottle. Or three.

Oh, here. You'll need

an extra hand for that.

Look, Tom, I want to apologise again.

I'm really sorry...

Can we talk about

something else? Please?

But I hit you with everything I had

and you took it.

My mother taught me

that only a coward hits a woman.

How'd she do that?

She whipped the hell out of me

every time I hit my little sister

till I finally got the message.

My ex could have learned something

from your mother.

Smoke 'em if you got 'em, eh?

I'm gonna smoke across

this whole damn country, Boomer.

So you said.

There's a whole world out there

to beat you up plenty.

You don't need to go looking

for people to pile on.

Glad you became an eye doc

instead of a head shrinker.

First consultation is free.

Let there be wine!

Let the drinking commence!

... whereas Paolo Coelho examined

the spiritual on the Camino,

was inspired to write his first book

afterwards.

So, I said to them,

"The last thing in the world

you need to publish,

"and the last thing

I am willing to write,

"is another bloody guidebook

on the Camino."

I mean, how does one follow

the Codex Calixtinus anyway?

The what?

Codex Calixtinus.

Liber Sancti Jacobi.

Devotees of the Way regard it

as the first tourist guide.

That's right. It is the source

attributed to the writings of

Pope Calixtus II in the 12th century.

It is a work of wonder

divided into five folios.

Book 1, "Anthologia liturgica".

Book 2, "De miraculis sancti Jacobi".

Book 3 translates

the writings of St James.

Book 4, the lesser known,

banned by the church in Rome,

detailed Charlemagne's vision

of St James instructing him

to destroy the Moors.

But it is Book 5, Folio 5,

which most concerns us.

Historians believe it is the first book

ever written on the pilgrimage.

So, the dilemma for me

is to come up with something

that feels contemporary yet pays homage,

or hommage,

to the ancient traditions of the Way

and what it means to be a true pilgrim

in the modern age.

Christ, you're a bore!

I beg your pardon?

An arrogant bore.

Well, there you have it.

Proof once again that Americans

can't hold their liquor.

Says the man

with the Aston Villa patch on his bag.

Oh, dear. I think this pack's

getting ready to eat one of its own.

That's just it, Jack from Ireland.

You're not one of us.

You think you're better than us

because you're writing a book.

- "True pilgrim." "True pilgrim."

- All right, all right, okay...

Like you would know? What did you use

to pay for this wine here, huh?

How many credit cards do you have

in your wallet, Jack from Ireland?

How many true pilgrims

used their credit cards

to get out of a true jam along

the Camino back in the Middle Ages?

You jackass from Ireland.

You are a true fraud.

That's what I think you are.

Fraud!

Over here, everybody!

This man is a fraud!

Police! Hey!

Over here, gentlemen!

Arrest this man for being a fraud!

Tom, we're just talking, man.

Yeah, we're only talking.

You're good at that, Dutchman.

Let me ask you something.

Is there anything

in that Dutch guidebook

about having some common courtesy?

Keeping your mouth shut about

other people's private matters?

What the hell are you talking about?

You know what the hell I'm talking

about, Joost from Amsterdam.

Or maybe you've smoked so much hash

and popped so many pills

you can't remember anything

you say or do any more.

Hey, what do you think

of the Boomer now, eh, Sarah?

Whoever the hell you are.

So, friends,

the question is,

what does it take for someone to become

a true pilgrim on the Camino?

Is that right, Jack?

How about death?

How about dying on the Camino?

Would that rate?

Would that make someone a true pilgrim?

Would that qualify for your damn book?

Hey, Tom, that's my pack.

That's mine. Tom...

Tom, come on, man.

- Get off of me!

- Tom, that's my pack. It's my pack.

For Christ's sake! Get away from me!

Get your hands off me!

Get away from me!

You know I don't speak Spanish!

I'm an American!

I speak American!

God bless America!

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