The Way to the Stars Page #6

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- Yes.

- What's your news?

- Oh, nothing much.

Just the usual sort

of stooging, boring...

- Oh, hello, Tiny.

- Hello.

Well... we ought to get cracking.

Good evening.

No, you wait here and l'll go and get the car.

ls there any chance of seeing you soon ?

Afraid not, you know.

We've got a basinful of stuff to get through.

Yes. l see.

lt's perfectly all right.

l just wondered...

Look, l...

l know what you're thinking.

You're not right, you know.

Aren't l?

l wish that l could explain it.

You don't have to explain anything, Peter.

There's nothing to explain.

l'm terribly sorry.

lt's perfectly all right.

Goodbye, Peter.

How long do you think this blasted war

is going on for?

Oh, years and years and years, l should think.

Spring 1950's my personal bet.

Do you think any of us have the right

to get ourselves tangled up until it's over?

What do you mean, financially or emotionally?

Wives, children, things like that.

Why ask me, old man ?

Personally, l've never had the old urge.

Why don't you write to Auntie Thingumajig

in the Daily Whatsit?

l'm serious, you know.

l know you are.

And l know you're thinking about David.

But l'm telling you the truth. lt's not a subject

that l'm qualified to give an opinion on.

But you could tell me

how you'd feel if you were...

well, if you were in

the same sort of spot as l'm in.

l could, but it wouldn't do any good.

You see, l'm on the ground and, any time now,

you may be on ops again.

Anything l said couldn't have

any possible bearing on the matter.

Good luck, Colonel.

Thanks. We'll need it.

Well, guys, l guess this is it.

Quite some moment, isn't it?

Yeah but not for making a noise like a speech

l didn't even have a pep talk for the fellas.

They don't need it.

You're all the lousiest crew any poor pilot

was ever stuck with and l love you.

So, come on. Get up them stairs.

- Come on. Let's go, Joe.

l'm right behind you.

- Fred. Another pint, please.

- Very good, sir.

- Ah, good. Here's the food.

- Here it is.

- Right, sir.

- Ta.

- Well, here's to Forts.

- Here's to Lancs. Cheerio, Nob.

Some people get all the luck.

- Where are you now?

- Over at Tetworth Gunnery School, sir.

Can you imagine Nobby instructing?

- l'll bet he puts the wind up the pupils.

- The pupils put the wind up me, they're so good.

- Have you applied for Lancs?

- Hundreds of times.

Have another crack at it. l'll pull a few strings

and try and get you with me again.

Now, that sounds a bit of all right.

l've just heard a great story. This'll kill you.

There was an Englishman,

an lrishman and a Scotsman travelling in a train.

Please, could we have three beers?

- Yes, sir.

- Light ales.

- and when the man...

- Excuse me, will you?

came to collect the tickets, the Englishman

turned to the Scotsman and said...

- What are you chaps drinking?

- Hello. Thanks. We've just ordered.

- Come on. Have another.

- Well, Ok. Thanks.

l guess we've got the right

to get plastered tonight.

You have. From all accounts,

that was a grand job you did today.

We walked away from it.

That's the best that can be said for it.

Here. Sit down. Sit down. Sit down.

What are you having? The beer's good.

- This is beer, isn't it?

- Well, it's a little ladylike.

Ok. We'll have what you got there.

Four pints of dark, Thomas.

Chalk it up on the old slate.

l'm going to have my cigarette now, dear.

Oh. l must have left my lighter upstairs.

Run and get it for me, will you, dear?

Allow me.

Oh.

Thank you.

The pleasure is all mine.

What charming manners.

- Hello, fellas.

- Baby, there's your beaker.

Thanks a lot. Say, listen, Flight Lieutenant,

l guess l owe you a bit of an apology.

lf l gave you or anybody else the idea

that bombing targets was going to be easy,

l'll eat my words right here and now,

but l defy any other bombardier

to have done any better under those conditions.

Funny thing,

that group ahead of us hit that target smacko.

You know,"zonk, zonk, zonk"?

- How wide were your berths?

- How wide would you like?

- We may have killed a couple of enemy cows.

- Enemy-occupied cows.

Aw, lay off, fellas. l'll do better next time.

We live and learn.

l sure hope we learn. We only just lived.

Focke-Wulfes?

Yeah. They're good. Like you said they were.

Like some of us didn't believe.

Here it is.

Ooh, biggies!

Thanking you.

Well, good luck.

- Thanks.

- Here's to you.

l'm celebrating myself tonight.

l've been posted, Lancasters.

- Flying again ?

- You bet.

- Swell.

- You mean,"good show old boy".

Congratulations.

The ticket collector said,

"This man's expired."

So, the lrishman said,

"But his ticket hasn't."

Not bad, eh?

Come to think of it. l know a better one than that.

Goebbels...

Captain ? Captain ?

- Goebbels said to Hitler...

- Excuse me, would you?

This'll make you laugh, this one.

lt's a good one.

Goebbels said to Hitler...

Goebbels said to Gring...

No. Wait a minute.

Gring said to Goebbels...

No. That's not right. Wait a minute.

lt's very funny, this one.

- Care for a drink?

- We're already swimming in it.

- Wait a minute, Johnny. This is our night out.

- Joe says, yes.

That was a terrific show

you boys put up this morning.

Yes, l'm sure l'm right. lt is...

Yes. That's right.

lt's Gring said to Goebbels...

- Hello, Nobby. ls he still at it?

- Yes.

- Nobby Clarke, the worst air gunner in the RAF.

- How do you do?

- How are you?

- Sit down, Nobby.

You blokes put up a pretty good show

this afternoon.

My story. l can't remember the middle bit,

but the end was,

"Because the higher you go, the Fhrer."

Not bad, eh?

Ooh, by the way, l hear you chaps did a good

job of work this afternoon. Congratulations.

Don "t drink that walop

Fred! Large Highland Flings al round

Perhaps you "d al like to hear this story

It"s a good "un

Gobbing said to...

Well, would you believe you?

Have a beer, Miss Winterton.

Disgraceful.

What do they think this place is, a speakeasy?

Mr Palmer. Mr Palmer!

Oh, yes, Miss Winterton?

- Disgraceful, isn't it?

- Yes, isn't it?

Well, don't you think

you'd better do something about it?

Right.

Boys, boys!

No, now, listen.

Break it up, break it up. Break it up.

- l'll tell you why, Miss Winterton objects.

- Oh?

l think she feels like a little chamber music.

So, what about giving her

one of the old ones, eh? Shall we?

- Yes.

- Let's go.

- There you are, Miss Todd.

- Yes, Miss Winterton ?

Now, you know l never complain...

Go on up, dear.

You know l never complain,

but this time, really, l mean to say.

- The singing.

- Singing!

Yes, l'm terribly sorry,

but it is nearly closing time.

Closing time? They should all have been

thrown into the street an hour ago.

l agree,

but l don't think l'm quite strong enough to do it.

l assure you, Miss Winterton,

l don't approve of it.

- Toddy, my angel!

- Peter! Peter, really.

Good night, Miss Winterton.

- l'll be up in a minute. Toddy.

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