The Wedding Banquet Page #2

Of course! I'm not a kid.

I know.

Sister Mao, your luggage is so heavy!

Why didn't you use cargo?

I did! Half the stuff here

is for you from your mother.

I'm sorry.

I'll buy you dinner tonight for that.

So heavy!

Where's your car?

First time in America?

No. I sang at the San Francisco Opera

for two years.

Opera, yes.

- Are you a fan?

- Yes. Pavarotti.

Nothing.

The service here is lousy.

So, you've met my parents?

Your mom.

Your dad was still in the hospital.

Hospital? When?

About two weeks ago. He had a stroke.

Didn't you know?

No, nobody told me.

I'm sorry. Me and my big mouth.

Your mom probably

didn't want you to worry.

No. Thanks for letting me know.

Your mom told me that when they took him

in the ambulance...

there was a huge traffic jam.

He was in pain, really suffering.

She thought he was going to die...

but he hung on...

for one last wish.

What wish?

To hold his grandchild.

He'll be fine, don't worry.

May I take your order?

Wei Wei, you got a new job?

What's it to you?

This is Miss Wu. Just arrived from Taipei.

She's an opera singer.

Wei Wei is a squatter. A tenant of mine.

I spoke to Simon on the phone.

Simon? How's he doing?

He likes the painting I gave you.

He told me you had some family business

to attend to today.

Is this it?

Does Simon know?

It's not what you think.

You told me you're gay and I believed you.

Why didn't you just tell me

I'm not your type?

Is there some kind of problem here?

Poor Simon. I pity him!

Hey, wait. Sh*t!

Why don't they quit after dinner?

Why did you join the singles club?

I didn't. Like you, my mom did it.

I have a white boyfriend,

and I don't have the guts to tell them.

Really?

- Where did you learn to sing?

- Dong Wu University.

You don't speak like a singer.

One doesn't speak like one sings.

Is that so?

- Are you really an opera fan?

- No.

Thought so. Pity.

What is it, three more flights?

You must forgive me. I'm so ashamed.

When Simon told me the story...

I felt like jumping off the Brooklyn Bridge.

No, it's for me to apologize.

You've been having so many troubles,

and all I do is pressure you for rent.

Here. I brought you an air conditioner.

But the electricity costs?

Out of work again.

I'm such a fool.

Always hoping you'll like me.

Anyway, Wai and I would like

to invite you out to dinner.

- It will be my farewell dinner.

- Your what?

Really. I can't last any longer.

No money, no job, no green card.

No stupid American will marry me.

What about Boris?

I thought he was gonna marry you.

He was. But he wanted $5,000.

What! What about Andre,

that guy you were seeing?

He wanted to marry me, too,

but it turns out he's Albanian...

and doesn't have a green card himself.

I'm such an idiot.

I said forget about it.

Don't you see?

This way Wei Wei can stay here and paint...

and you can finally

get your parents off your back.

Forget about it.

We can move her into the basement

until the immigration exam.

Take some photos, send them back

to your mom and dad, and perfect!

Forget it.

And as a married couple,

you'll be able to take a big tax break.

Got it?

We'll back up.

Wai Tung's clothes. Shirts, underwear.

He wears Jockey, but he sleeps in boxers.

And here, all the stuff

he gets from his parents.

Mega polyester,

but he saves the sh*t religiously.

The couch is his own little world.

Here, piles of unread magazines.

World Trade, Advocate, UW, and Fortune.

He's such a disgusting yuppie.

And, of course, the phone,

which he hogs like a total pig.

Extra pillows,

'cause he likes to drop off to sleep here.

Sometimes I have to carry him up to bed.

He showers in the morning

unless he goes to the gym...

which is if he's in a bad mood

or we've had a fight.

He doesn't smoke or drink,

unless we fought or he's in a mood bad.

No junk food either.

Unless you've been fighting

or he's in bad mood.

On his right side?

The birthmark is on his right side,

the mole is on his left side.

Do the questions really get this personal?

- Yes, they do, and if you don't pass...

- I'll pass.

Let's see, today's Friday.

You're wearing blue Jockey shorts.

Hello.

Ma? Hello, how are you?

How's Pa?

You got my letter?

Like I've told you,

I've been dating Wei Wei for two years.

She's from the mainland,

and we've decided to settle down together.

I didn't tell you because I was afraid

you wouldn't approve.

What! You're coming here? The 15th?

To arrange the wedding?

No. Of course I want you to do it.

It's only once in a lifetime...

but with Pa's health,

he shouldn't make such a long trip.

What if...

Don't say that.

Of course you'll see your grandchild.

I won't disappoint you.

I was just concerned.

Ma, talk to him.

Tell him not to be so sensitive.

Okay, I'll call tomorrow.

Bye.

Did you understand any of that?

Unfortunately, I think so.

This was your big idea.

How long are they coming for?

Just a short visit. Two weeks!

Good night.

God, I'm so nervous.

Relax. The in-laws want to meet

even an ugly bride.

How about an ugly son-in-law?

Here they come.

Wai Tung! I missed you so much!

- Are you tired?

- Slept all the way.

I'm not as lucky.

But I feel better now that I see you.

- Pa, you're so thin!

- You look good.

Where's Wei Wei?

Over there.

Pleased to meet you.

You're prettier in person. You cut your hair?

Short hair is nicer.

Thanks for caring for our son.

He takes care of me.

We're blocking traffic. Let's leave.

Allow me.

Where did you find such a beauty?

I placed an ad for an apartment

two years ago.

Twenty people answered.

Wei Wei was one of them.

Good. My investment paid off.

What do you think?

She'll make lots of babies.

How long are you here?

Over three years. Never been back.

And your family?

I have my mom, dad,

and a kid brother in school.

What do they do?

Her Pa works at a hospital

and her mom teaches art.

Good.

It's traditional that we bring

the Gift of Four Colors...

to formally propose to your parents.

My parents are happy.

They've seen pictures of Wai Tung...

and I talk about him all the time,

and they like him...

but it's impossible for them

to come here from the mainland.

Too bad.

Hi.

This is Simon, my roommate and landlord.

It is pleasure, Mr. And Mrs. Gao.

Welcome, my home.

You speak Chinese!

Thank you for caring for our son

and letting us stay here.

- Pa, he doesn't understand.

- No?

A little.

Tell him his home is beautiful.

Shall we help you up to your room?

That'd be great.

How come you rent from Simon

and don't live in your own building?

The building is a dump. You can't live there.

We are looking for a new home.

We'll move after the wedding.

- Nice place.

- Yeah, the air is fresh.

Now that you're getting married,

I've got something to tell you.

You know why I went into the Army?

Because you wanted to fight

with General Chiang against the Japanese.

No. I had to run away, so I joined the Army.

Your grandpa arranged a marriage.

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