The Wedding Diary Page #2

the salted fish

Hey hey, Keat is back

Auntie, you're getting prettier by the day

And you're still as handsome

And this is a real beauty. She is?

She's my girlfriend. Eh, my fiancee

Wow, you're good!

Hi Auntie, I am Sze Xin

Sze Xin can cook really well. Her skills are better

than yours

Really? The only son in this family

is getting married

We will invite all our Penang relatives for this celebration

Hubby, where were you? There's gonna be a wedding in this family soon

Oh, how many months is it now?

So, the rice is cooked and it's a done deal now

Shhh!

I meant to say, the rice is cooked and ready to be served

Come come, let's have dinner

Would you like some sour plums?

I have some in the house

Hurry up. Watch your step. Slowly now

These days, the youngster from Penang strive to move to KL

and those in KL want to go to Singapore

Do you think they will return from Singapore?

That's how it is. It's easier to strike it rich in big cities

Would you rather they be like us?

Sunning salted fish all day?

Strike it rich?

I would hope for this daughter-in-law to be

married back to Penang

and not my son to Singapore

After the meeting of parents from both sides, war commences

On one side, the Singaporeans, and on the other, the Malaysians

On one side, the Cantonese, and on the other, the Hokkiens

why does the pre-wedding discussion look like

mob negotiations?

On one side, the uber-rich, and on the other, the peasants

No matter how the fight goes, I'd end up bearing the brunt of it all

This is my dad, Ah Sai

Ah Sai? ("faeces" in Hokkien")

It's Ah Sai!

My daddy, Colin Chong

As in "Pathetic" Chong?

It's Colin Chong!

I don't know English

You don't know English? Let's speak Mandarin then

Alright, back to the wedding

No thanks to your son

Hmmph, the son of Ah Sai

is quite something

First, the banquet. Two hundred tables

At the most luxurious hotel in Singapore

Are you kidding me? Your daughter is marrying

into our family now

We are from Penang so the banquet will be held there.

30 tables the maximum

There's no reason for Colin Chong's precious daughter to wed in Penang

Shall we leave the wedding dicussions to the ladies?

You men go get yourselves some drinks

Okay, let's get some drinks

Why is he so obedient?

Weddings are of great significance to us Cantonese

Although we are from an average family

Weddings are, to us Hokkiens, no less significant

I would like to know what the betrothal gifts are?

Well, that would depend on how much dowry you are offering

Ah..Ah Sai

What do you do for a past time?

Well, I'd usually sun the fish once I'm back from fishing

And spent the rest of the time chatting with

my neighbours and family

You don't earn much, do you? Any plans for

business expansion?

Do you have to expand everything?

It's pretty simple. First, you buy a bigger fishing boat

Then, you hire workers to do the fishing

Once your company is on the right track, I can even help you to list it

When that happens, you can start enjoying a leisurely life

How long will it take for that to happen?

At least 10 years

Why do I have to wait another 10 years

to enjoy the life I am enjoying now?

Fifty

Ten

Forty

Eighteen sounds more auspicious

The maids we have in the family would already

take up 20 tables

What, two hundred maids?

Are you running a maid agency?

Ming Ming

Okay. Deal.

Oh my. How did they conjure up a hundred tables?

Do we have a thousands guests?

How much would it cost to let the bride's family have 20 tables?

Sigh. Getting married is not much different from

getting robbed, is it?

Dad, can we not invite those whom

we're not close to?

We don't call them relatives for nothing

A table costs S$1,000. That's almost RM3,000

Another $500 for 2 nights' accomodation, and

that's not including transportation

Whoa! Almost $900 just to attend a wedding dinner

Dad, we're helping them save by not inviting them

I won't let them pay a cent. I'll take care of everything

Do you think you're loaded?

If you're really considerate, you would have held the dinner in Penang

I just want to keep things simple

100 tables and you call it simple?

Uncle, my dad was the one who asked for that

100 tables

You're not holding the dinner in Penang, and now

you won't even invite them?

How would I answer to them?

It's my wedding so why would you need to

answer to anyone?

They are not just "anyone". They are my relatives

You ought to be more thoughtful and

not so indifferent

Hey, will you stop arguing?

Get into the car

Ignore him. What a bad temper

Here, take this, for your wedding expenses

Is this from Dad?

No. Auntie has some savings too, you know?

Don't worry about me, I can still cope.

Aren't you coming yet? Hurry up!

Yes, yes...

Auntie's leaving. Bye

Bye

You stink like an old cow

Like father, like son. You two have the same temper

Hey baby, I can talk to my dad about the hundred tables.

Baby, I said I'll find my own way out

I won't let our dads look down on us

Mmm

Pride, oh pride. The root of all my problems

At times like these, "good friends" of the bride are bound to appear

Who excel in the art of squandering your money

Women, they are really strange

They are happy to splurge thousands

on a little carbon rock called the wedding diamond

This is bigger

My baby, she's just trying to help me save, but

the size of this rock

is supposed to show the world how much

I love her

So how can it be small?

The bigger the diamond, the greater the love?

Of course

And in future, one additional rock for each time she has a baby

Congratulations, in-laws

Today is the day the groom's family sends over

the betrothal gifts

Followed by lots of rituals according to our custom

Congratulations to the groom

Today is the day the bride's family sends over the dowry

I'd like to do the nail art. And the gel nails

Give them the best please

Thanks

You darned Pat. Having a great time squandering

my money eh?

Of course, today's our dear friend's hen party

I really don't get you. What is so good about

him?

He's simple, genuine and honest

He's still a...

Oh, just look at your lecherous face

Don't you tell me he's still a virgin

Hush hush

Hey, is he impotent?

He's very manly

How does one tell if it's a man's first time?

You'll just have to take his word for it

You're so low

Hey, my Baby is really different. He will never

ever lie to me

Don't say I haven't warned you

Just look out for yourself

I'm dressed like that, all for a prayer ceremony

Hey "Junk". Hurry up

Coming, coming. And uncle, my name's Jeremy!

Whatever

Here you go. Your glutinous rice balls

Swallow two at once, without chewing.

It's inauspicious for the marriage if it breaks

What? Two at once?

How to, when they're so big?

Come, let me

Remember not to bite into it

Don't chew, don't chew. Come, again

Don't chew, don't chew, ok?

Don't chew, don't chew

I'm choking

Good thing it's not broken

No, no, again

Rate this script:3.0 / 2 votes