The Wedding Pact

- It's hot as hell

it's a cold war

tainted words

I left so pure

do I walk away

or let you in,

let you in

if I could give you

advice

just give up

'cause you don't want me

to mess you up

but you won't believe

I'm not the one

now saying

that you're lovesick

I don't have the cure

it hurts so good

to pick your poison

when you're in pain,

I enjoy it

your hell is my paradise

paradise

when the sun goes down,

it's time to play

and you know

that I won't go away

your hell is my paradise

so pick your poison tonight

- And last,

I would just like to say

good luck in this new

chapter of our lives.

Excuse the cliche,

but they say that time flies

when you're having fun.

And I don't know

about you guys,

but I have had

the best time of my life here

at Madison college.

Now...

Point me to the keg.

- Look in the mirror,

mascara smeared

sipping belvedere

LA LA like a superstar

stunner shades,

oh, it's so cliche

she's no grenade

- What a douche.

- Bring it in here, girls.

- Why do I get the feeling

we'll be calling Bob

senator one day?

In 20 years, that guy's

gonna be the president.

- Everybody's having

a good time.

I'm already having a good time.

- Dude.

- Hey!

Don't start with me.

- Look, the first semester,

she was totally single,

and you were actually

the first person to meet her.

- Yeah, I know.

I know I blew it, okay?

I mean, usually I got

pretty good game.

But, you know,

I get around Elizabeth

and I get all loopy.

- Yeah, well...

Speaking of game,

how'd the breakup go with Rosie?

- What do you mean,

how'd it go?

She kicked me in the nuts.

- Ooh. Were you wearing?

- Oh, yeah.

- Yeah.

You had to know that was coming.

- Oh, yeah.

- Oh, here she comes.

- Hi, guys.

- Hey!

- Hi.

- Hey.

- What are you guys

talking about?

- Baseball and...

- Oh.

Guy stuff?

- Yeah.

- So macho.

- Yeah.

- Yeah, let me get...

who wants a beer?

- Yeah, I'll have...

- beer? Two beers, three beers?

- I'm okay.

Thank you.

So...

Tomorrow's graduation.

It's crazy, right?

- I know, right?

It's like four years

went by like that.

- Yeah.

You should fly to visit me

in San Diego.

- Mm...

Yeah, I don't know.

- You don't... you don't know

if you wanna come see me?

- No, no, it's not...

it's not what you think.

It's... You know.

What I told you.

- Oh, the claustrophobia

stuff.

- Yes, I...

- I kinda thought you were

kidding about that.

- No. I don't kid

about that.

I thought it was just elevators

and things like that.

- Yeah, it is, but then

it kicks in pretty good

The whole fear of plunging

to a fiery, screaming death

tends to amplify it a bit.

- Right.

- We can talk about

something else.

- Sure. But I do want you

to come visit me.

- Okay.

- Lizzie!

- Um, hold on one second.

I guess maybe one regret

that I have is that,

you know, with all the stupid

boyfriends and girlfriends

that we both had

that you and I never

gave it a shot.

Let's make a deal, Mitch.

In ten years, if we haven't

married other people,

we marry each other.

What do you say?

- Lizzie!

We're gonna leave

without you.

- Okay. Hold on.

What do you say?

- Sure!

- I love you so much,

Mitch.

- I love you too.

- Okay. I'll see you soon.

- Okay.

- Bye.

- Bye.

- Huh? So?

How'd it go?

- To be honest,

I think I just got engaged.

Now listen,

I know what you're all thinking.

Yeah, right, he's gonna

wait ten years to marry her.

I will admit,

I did think about it.

For about a month.

Now, as you can see,

when I go on the first date,

I got it down pretty good.

I mean,

look at the way

they laugh at my jokes.

You can't fake that.

Although with women,

you never really can tell.

But first date...

I'm king.

When we get a little deeper

in the relationship...

- Mitch, this is the best

birthday dinner ever.

You'd better be careful,

mister.

I might just use

the "I" word tonight.

- That's when things

go kablooey.

It's your birthday?

- Don't ever call me again.

- For the last time,

my name is Eleanor,

not Elizabeth, jerk!

- Well, ten years later,

I'm still single.

And I heard that Elizabeth

already got married,

so I guess it's just not

meant to be.

- Okay.

This is from me.

- Thank you, Karen.

- Happy Birthday, Mitch.

- Thank you.

Oh, my gosh.

Oh, come on.

Look at that.

- Nice watch.

What'd that run you?

- Easy!

Thank you, Karen.

You're welcome.

- Seriously, I, uh,

I feel truly blessed

to have friends like you.

Are these wonderful gifts

are just too much, so...

- You're welcome!

- Thank you.

Most of you.

- Is this a party, or what?

- Look at you!

You made it!

- Hey, dude, I took the last

ferry from montauk,

got here in no time.

- And yet, you never visit.

- Nice hat.

- Thank you very much.

This is my good friend

Dave breem

from college, everybody.

- This a birthday party

or a funeral?

Come on!

- Funeral.

- Hey, hey, hey, easy.

Now, who scored

this month's bonus

and is picking up

tonight's check, huh?

- To Mitch.

To Mitch.

- Thank you very much.

- Salud.

- Waitress!

Another round.

Cheap stuff?

- Good night, ladies!

- Hey, guys, it's last call.

Would you like anything else

before I close out your tab?

- No, I think

just the check, thanks.

- Uh, um...

I would like to buy

me and my buddy

two shots of whiskey.

Why don't you, uh...

Keep the change?

Huh?

- You always know

the right thing to do, man.

- That is because I'm the ying

to your Yang.

Oh!

- What?

Oh, my... dude.

- Happy Birthday.

- Come on!

- Mm-hmm.

- You kept this?

- Ten years, man.

How you holding up?

- Eh.

Man, if she only waited,

we would have been great

together.

- Yeah, I know.

- Eh. Stupid to think

a girl like her

can go ten years

and not find somebody.

I mean, it's not like

I didn't try.

I mean, I scoured

the Internet, you know?

Facebook, Twitter...

nothing.

This woman's off the grid.

Thank you.

- Well, what if I told you...

- oh, my God,

who ordered the cabo?

Seriously,

I said bottom shelf, guys!

You know what?

I bet you it was damn Carl.

- Dude, would you stop?

In two seconds,

you're not even

gonna care about that.

- Yeah, that I'd like.

- Then this you'll love.

You sitting down?

- Yeah, Dave.

I'm sitting down.

- Okay, okay.

She never got married.

- No way.

- Yes, way!

- No, no, no, 'cause I read

in the alumni mag...

are you messing with me?

- I'm not messing with you.

- Don't mess with me.

- I'm not messing with you.

In fact, I'm trying to help you.

I read the same thing too.

But I called the alumni office.

She never got married.

This is her last known

address in San Diego.

- San Diego.

Happy Birthday!

It's meant to be, man!

- This might be meant to be.

- This is really meant to be.

- This might be meant to be.

- I'll drink to that.

- Mmm!

- Oh, my God.

Ugh...

- Give me my change!

Dude, there's such better

Mexican in this town.

Why do you keep going

to this dump?

- 'Cause it's got...

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