The Wild Hunt

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They only know how to take.

But we will teach them sacrifice!

By Thor!

And we'll drink the blood.

The beast will rise!

And we will destroy the conquerors!

Magnusson!

Magnusson!

King Argyle...

Murtagh captured Princess Evlynia.

They will bleed her to the beast.

It's a trap.

We'll be slaughtered

if we try anything.

She is lost.

Lost? She is our Valkyrie.

Her doom will spell our doom!

She's not worth risking

my lands and my armies.

So we retreat.

You are a coward

worshipping a coward God!

You are unfit to be king.

Perhaps, even unfit to be alive.

Northmen scum!

I am the new king!

Wait!

Come on.

Whoa, whoa! The fight's

f***ing over, OK?

I hit you, like, 10 times.

What are you talking about?

You hit me once! - Game over!

You're f***ing dead, OK?

I've got a magical

cloak of protection.

It's like armour! - You're dead!

My magical sword killed you. Ref!

Just give me back the

f***ing crown, OK?

Murtagh has way too many points

for us to do anything

stupid like charging, right?

We'll fight him next weekend

when we rally more guilds, OK?

Let's be honest.

Your precious little princess,

she let herself get kidnapped.

You're just a coward!

He's a coward, just a coward!

OK, guys, come on!

Stay in character.

It was a draw. Duel again.

Oh, I'm not duelling again!

I won! - Let's go!

Like, 50 people saw me.

Look, ask--ask that guy!

I won.

Ow!

Victorious!

All right!

Four kegs, Argyle's fort,

beer's on me!

Come on!

Shut up! Dead people don't talk.

Stay down for one more

minute till you're resurrected.

You can just rebuild your

clan with real warriors.

Men of courage! Like you.

Bjorn...

I want to be your Viking.

Let's be kings!

You're leaving again?

Yeah, just for a few days.

I think I found a job.

Really?

Mm-hmm!

That's great.

How is it related to my

brother's stupid game?

He only took me up there,

like, a couple of times,

just for fun.

How long are you going for?

I don't know. I...

I kind of have...

It's making me a little crazy here.

Look, can we talk

about this later

when I'm back from work?

No.

Yeah.

I just need to...

get some air.

And you will call me?

Mm-hmm.

Here's my ride.

Viking maiden's in there next.

"Viking maiden's in there next."

Bye.

Who's the guy?

A friend.

Make him stop.

What are you doing? Make him stop!

Thor almighty, god of thunder,

it is Ragnark,

the end of our world.

I have not turned my back on you.

Give me the strength

to win this battle.

I implore you!

Give me a sign!

Show me the way!

Yes.

I hear you.

Mjllnir, hammer of thunder!

I hear you, Mjllnir!

Mjllnir!

I await you!

Thor!

I bathe in your storm!

I, Bjorn Magnusson,

your chosen one!

Lyn?

Erik, I need to

reave your hard body,

you bad, bad boy.

Too bad you're not hung

like that black dragon

brother of yours.

Rest your libidinous heart,

brother. It is I.

And the maiden will be

back in your arms soon.

Where is Lyn now, Bjorn?

Bjorn?

And I had a vision.

I need Mjllnir.

Bjorn?

Do you have it?

What?

Mjllnir, hammer of Thor!

Forged in ancient--

Erik?

Erik?

Murtagh!

I will crush your skull!

Ah!

Make him stop!

What are you doing? Make him stop!

Stop him, please!

Dad, go to sleep!

Bjorn?

Nay, sir, it is I!

Bernie.

And I come on a quest

for your son, Bjorn,

who seeks his hammer,

Mjllnir, slayer of giants.

Oh! It's real!

The bill was real, too.

Hey!

Your brother wants me

to pick up his hammer.

All right.

Knock yourself out.

Oh!

Mjllnir! Ah!

Hammer of the gods,

forged in Valhalla!

I am not worthy.

Come on!

I remember you used to enjoy

watching us play D&D

all night until--

Yeah, until I realized that

the big kids were all losers.

Well, at least

we're the fun losers.

Um, Evelyn, when she's up there,

where does she sleep?

Uh, I don't know.

You know, now that Murtagh's

captured her, you know,

these savages they all

sleep in one big tent.

I know some girls,

they role-play medieval prostitutes

and they have sex with men

who pay them in fake coins.

Listen, it's only gonna get worse.

As we say in accounting:

ravage, plunder, prima nocta!

You know, I knew a guy

who once had 2 at once.

Take what you want!

English, Dad.

English.

Thus come the Celts

with full power upon us.

Therefore, you three go

forth with swift dispatch

to line and new repair our

northern and eastern flanks.

Meanwhile, I will work

to gain the allegiance

of the elves.

Did you guys get it, huh?

It's pretty good, right?

Sh*t, yeah!

Mjllnir...

hammer of Thor.

Behold! The hammer of thunder!

Mjllnir!

Mjllnir!

The serpent that circles the Earth

writhes in fury.

With every breath,

he stains the soil and

the sky with his poison.

The fire giants are

marching against us,

carrying swords that blaze

like the sun itself.

They scorch the Earth as they pass.

But I, Bjorn Magnusson,

will lead you heroes

into Ragnark...

the final battle.

I don't wanna be

a knight anymore.

OK. Do you wanna play an elf?

We still need more elves.

Nope, elves are gay.

I'm just more the stoic,

fighter type.

You know, swords...

Hello.

You can't park here.

This is for emergencies only.

You're blocking the entrance.

But you can go to Lot 4.

Yeah, no, I'm not staying.

I came to see someone.

OK, but you're not in decorum.

Decorum?

Who are you looking for?

Uh, Lyn. I'm looking for Lyn.

No, there's nobody

here named Lyn.

No, we'd have seen her register.

Unless, you mean her

most immaculate Valkyrie

of the Viking folk...

Princess Evlynia of the Icewind.

Wait! Whoa! Costume!

Decorum!

Decorum, decorum!

You know, some guys

plan a year in advance

for this event.

They don't want someone

bursting their bubble

with modern stuff.

Yeah, man,

don't mess with decorum.

What's your name?

Erik Magnusson.

Magnusson?

Like Bjorn Magnusson the Berserker?

Like Bjorn Magnusson,

scourge of the high seas?

Yeah, I didn't come here

to see him, all right?

I came here to talk

to my girlfriend.

Wait a minute.

Is Princess Evlynia your

girlfriend? Oh, dude!

And you're her boyfriend?

Does she know you're coming?

I really have to wear this sh*t?

No.

You can leave if you want to.

Swords, good.

All right, this is soft.

Ready to go.

Spear is ready to be thrown.

This is dangerous.

Tip is missing. This is dangerous.

Somebody could get hurt.

Much tears, much pain,

far from hospital.

Rule number one.

Understood?

F*** off!

So are we next for

throw ball, cabrn?

He lost the elfin alliance.

So unless Thor

personally comes down

and kicks ass tomorrow,

the Celts will win.

Sir Bernie! Leave the coward king!

Come back to us!

Seor Bernie!

Join us!

Seor Bernardo!

Leave the coward king! Join us!

Join us, Seor Bernardo!

Join us!

Come on, Seor Bernardo!

Seor Bernie!

By Thor...

a sign.

Yah!

This is a glorious day!

The Magnusson clan united!

Meet my little Viking brother.

Bjorn, I'm not here to

bother you, all right?

I know you're busy.

Come, let us drink. Erik, huh?

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