The Windmill Massacre

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[liquid splashes]

[liquid splashes]

[lighter flicks]

[deep breaths]

[fire roars]

[distant abrupt scream]

That one's beautiful, Anna.

It's for you.

Thank you.

- Thank you.

- Thank you.

You know in English,

we call this a windmill.

Can you guys say windmill?

Windmill.

Windmill.

Yeah.

[sighs]

[door opens]

- How about you put this--

- Julie, can I have a word?

Yeah.

[distant classical music]

Should I call you Julie?

Or Jennifer?

Mr. de Vries,

I can... I can explain.

Yes, I'm sure you can

just as soon

as the police get here.

No, you don't, I'm keeping

this 'til the police arrive.

Hey, where do you

think you're going?

[yells]

[male teenager] Dad, Dad,

is that the Ann Frank house?

- What?

- Oh, back there, you missed it.

Sorry.

[sighs]

Isn't this great?

Fabulous city,

just the two of us.

Should we do a

selfie to send to Mom?

Yeah, good idea.

[boat tour announcer

indistinct]

Still can't believe she let

you take me out of school.

Well, travel broadens

the mind, she knows that.

Now, come on, give us a smile.

- Come on, smile.

[chuckles]

- [phone rings]

Oh, hold on, wait a minute,

I need to take this.

Dougless West speaking.

Yeah? No, that's the...

I've already told you

that's the deal,

you take it or you leave it.

Add a bit more shadow.

But it looks very nice, Ineke.

- How are things going, Ellen?

- I'm a bit stuck.

Just focus a bit more

on the vanishing point.

It is perfect...

Very nice.

The easiest way to get

started with drawing

a rose is to...

[sniffles]

Dr. Cooper...

Dr. Cooper?

[inhales sharply]

[groans]

[sniffles]

[water trickles]

We have arrived.

Grandma.

[dog barks in distance]

Woo me, baby.

[sighs]

You want to be a photographer,

first you need a proper

portfolio before you can get

any real jobs.

- You know that right?

- Serge...

Serge, please.

We are both come

down in the world.

- Serge how about this one?

- No, too much hair.

I just need a bit of

help getting started.

I would be so grateful.

[arguing in background]

[equipment crashes]

Okay, listen, I can't

promise you a thing

but I need photos for another

crappy tourist calendar.

- And this one?

- Oh, no. Way too ugly.

- About windmills.

- Windmills?

Yeah, so if you can get

me some really nice shots,

we'll take it from there,

what do you say?

Where do I find

these windmills?

Oh...

[upbeat party music]

[indistinct chatter]

It was a nice night,

let's lead the way.

This party's over man, come on.

Yeah, this is the one.

As your commanding

officer, I order you...

Oh, yeah...

- Hook my friend up.

- No, come on.

No, no, no, no, no,

no come on, come on.

All right, Jackie boy!

There you go.

[all yelling indistinct]

[woman yelling in background]

Come on, take it easy.

[giggles]

[sighs]

You're strong.

[distant yells]

[helicopter engine whirs]

[man] Charlie, Charlie,

1-0 Alpha, code blue.

[gun c*cks]

[laughter erupts]

Oh, come on, mate.

Jackie, what's the matter, mate,

ain't she your type?

[giggling]

[man]

Let's go, crack on.

[sirens wail]

[police chatter on radio]

- [screams echoing]

- B*tch.

- [gasps]

- [man] Hey, hey.

[grunts]

[chuckles]

[coughs]

[train engine rumbles]

Danny...

Sweetness...

[sighs]

[pill rattles]

Ladies and gentlemen,

this the police.

Identification, please!

[boy]

Hey, Dad, here's the bus.

[man] Hello.

Mate, is this

Happy Holland Tours?

Yes, this is

Happy Holland Tours.

- Tickets?

- [mumbles indistinct]

[man] No, just me and my son.

[man]

I might just, uh...

[sirens wail in distance]

Yes, thank you,

find yourself a seat.

Ah, got a ticket?

It's in my bag.

Doesn't matter, always room

for one more sinner, huh?

[chuckles]

No, joke, joke, come in, huh?

- Come in, mind your step.

- Thanks.

- [boy] Relax dad.

- You have to take it everyday.

I'll take it when we

get back to the hotel.

- Mom says--

- Okay, okay.

But set your phone

so I don't forget.

Sure, Dad, no problem.

[sighs]

I'll stay here 'til it

blows over, keep me posted.

- Okay, mate, I will.

- All right, cheers.

Sure.

Okay, well, welcome to

Happy Holland Tours,

my name is Abe

and I'm your driver

and tour guide for today

as we leave this

God forsaken city

and explore the real Holland.

I hope you enjoy your trip.

[woman]

This could be fun, right?

[engine rumbles]

[Abe]

Ladies and gentlemen,

without windmills,

there would be no Holland.

For centuries, they gave us

flour, paper, wood,

and of course the polders

which you can see

on your left and on your right.

It is thanks to the

water pump, and windmills

that the polders stay

dry and the lands safe.

Many men has died horribly,

burned alive when

their wooden windmill

was struck by lightning.

More than half of Holland

lies under sea level.

There is a saying,

"God created the world,

but the Dutch created Holland."

Okay, ladies and gentlemen,

this is our first stop.

Everybody out please.

Watch your step, Curt.

[snoring]

We'll let him be,

sleep will sober him up, hm?

[mumbles]

[sighs]

[phone clicks]

[sighs]

[Abe]

Three kinds of windmills,

the polar windmills

that pull the water

out of the lands,

and saw windmills,

and the ones that turn

a raw product into a

tradable material,

like flour.

This windmill is

a flower windmill.

[voice whispers]

Jamie...

- It grinds,

rain leads to flour.

- Jamie.

[whispering indistinct]

[Abe]

To try to do this...

[sighs]

[Abe]

Owners of the land, but this

changed when the French came.

Oh, sh*t.

[sighs]

[birds squawking]

[Abe]

Beautiful Happy Holland.

[man]

Oh, it's beautiful, beautiful.

This will make

a good photo, yeah?

Excuse me?

Um, could you just take

a quick photo for us,

it's just a...

She's obviously got

something better to do.

- [chuckles]

- [woman] Here, give it to me.

Oh, thank you, love, thank you.

Say fromage.

[phone rings]

Oh, sorry,

I'll be needing to take that.

Peter.

Yeah, talk to me.

Everybody, 10 minutes, okay?

You have 10 minutes

and then we go back to the bus.

[man] No, no, no,

don't give me that,

serious why isn't

this deal sealed yet?

Look, I already told her,

- there is no room for

negotiations.

- [sighs]

No, you don't go back to her,

let her come to us.

[message beeps]

[woman]

Hello, Vanessa West here.

- [phone beeps]

- I don't understand. Why is she

not answering her phone?

I told you, she's off

on some yoga retreat,

they probably

don't allow contact

with the outside world,

you know what they're like.

Don't worry about it, son,

I'm sure she'll get in touch

just as soon as she can.

Have you heard anything?

So everything's okay?

[sighs]

Yeah, yeah, mate, no worries.

Yeah, yeah, I'll be there.

All right, man, bye.

Yours?

Thanks.

[Abe] Mademoiselle,

we really have to go.

[woman] One second,

just one more picture.

You an artist?

[sighs]

Heavens, no.

I'm on a creative sabbatical.

And you?

What brings you to Europe?

Oh, uh...

I'm an Aussie.

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