The Witches Page #3

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The doors, are they locked and bolted?

Locked and bolted,

Your Grandness.

Good. Help me.

Witches of England...

...you're a disgrace!

Miserable witches...

...you are good-for-nothing worms!

Everywhere I look...

...I see the repulsive sight...

...of hundreds...

...thousands...

...of revolting little children.

I ask you:

Why?

One child a week

is no good to me.

We will do better.

We will do much better.

Better is no good, either!

I demand maximum results.

So...

...here are my orders.

My orders are...

...that every child...

...in England...

...shall be rubbed out.

Destroyed!

Every single child eliminated!

Do I make myself clear?

We can't possibly wipe out all of them.

Who spoke?

Who dares to argue with me?

It was you?

I didn't mean to argue.

You dare to argue with me?

No, honestly. It just was a...

A stupid witch who answers back...

...must burn until

her bones are black!

No.

A foolish witch...

...without a brain...

...must sizzle into fiery flame!

A witch...

...who dares to say I'm wrong...

...will not be with us...

...very long!

What the devil?

I hope nobody else

is going to make me cross today.

Now, this is my plan.

Each of you...

...will go back to your homes...

...and resign from your jobs.

Give notice.

Retire.

You will then buy,

with the money I give you...

...sweet shops.

Candy stores.

The best and most respectable

sweet shops in England.

Upstairs I have a trunkload

of this English money...

...so you'll be able to offer three...

...maybe four times

what these shops are worth.

Go.

On a certain day...

...when all our plans are prepared...

...you'll announce

a great gala opening...

...with free sweets, candies,

and chocolates for every child.

Poison sweets.

We'll wipe them out

like weasels.

- Who spoke?

- She did!

It's brilliant.

Poison?

And you don't mind getting caught?

Exposed?

Vilified?

I just thought...

Spineless bumpkin!

You blithering bogvumper!

No wonder England is swarming with...

Everything you sell that day...

...will have been treated...

...with my very latest...

...and very greatest magic formula.

Witches work only with magic!

Wait. Come here.

Formula 86.

My greatest triumph.

A work of...

...genius.

Formula 86!

In this bottle...

...500 doses...

...with a delay mechanism...

...that prevents it from working

until two hours...

...after it has been taken.

What does it do...

...genius one?

One dose...

...and the time works

to the second.

But more than five doses...

...breaks the delay barrier...

...and the formula works instantly.

The child...

...starts to shrink.

The child...

...starts to...

...grow fur.

Starts...

...growing a tail.

All this happens

in precisely 25 seconds!

Shrinking more.

The child...

...is no longer a child.

The child...

...is a mouse!

Silence.

Shut up.

Silence. Enough.

This afternoon...

...at precisely 4:15...

...I put one dose of my formula...

...on a bar of chocolate.

I gave it to a repulsive...

...smelly boy...

...who was in the lobby.

"Was that good?"

I asked him.

"Got any more?"...

...said the nauseating child.

"Six more bars like that one,"

I told him.

In two minutes' time...

...this appalling,

foul-smelling creature...

...is coming to collect his reward.

In five minutes' time...

...you'll see my magic formula

in action.

We're going to see.

Quickly! Wigs!

Gloves!

The appalling child will be here...

...and you'll see my miracle.

Come on. Hurry up!

That's good.

Hurry up, everybody.

Come on!

Quickly!

You're not on holiday!

I'm being as quick as I can.

Hurry up!

Ready.

Hello, little boy.

Come on in then.

Come on.

Wait just there.

What's your name then?

Bruno.

Madam!

That lady promised me

six whole bars...

...of cream-whip hazelnut milk chocolate.

I've come to collect.

Ladies...

...may I introduce Bruno?

Come up, Bruno.

I have the chocolate here.

I said 6:
15.

And that is 15 seconds from now.

You are in for a treat.

We all are!

What's going on?

Just a few moments.

Five...

I can't see any chocolates.

...three, two, one, zero!

We have ignition!

Everybody, look!

It's fantastic!

It's begun!

I can't stand it!

It's so wonderful!

It's fantastic!

Where'd he go?

Keys!

Enough! Silence!

Before the banquet tonight,

come to my room in groups of 10.

Room number 208.

I'll give you each a bottle

containing 500 doses.

Also plenty of money.

Do not forget your nose plugs

for the dinner.

The dining room will be full

of filthy children.

Without your nose plugs,

the stink will be unbearable.

Now we'll have drinks on the terrace

with that ridiculous manager.

Any questions?

What if one of the chocolates

were accidentally eaten by a grownup?

That's just too bad for the grownup.

The meeting is over.

Until next year.

Wait!

I smell...

...dog's droppings.

She's right.

The smell!

She's right!

Search out this small lump of dung!

Find it!

It must be exterminated immediately!

There he is!

He's wiggling through.

He's getting away.

Come here, boy.

Bring him to me!

There he is!

I saw him come this way.

Where could he be?

Bye-bye.

No! My baby! Stop!

A baby in a pram.

Lovely!

Oh, no.

Get the boy!

He's getting away!

Grandma, wake up!

Please, Grandma!

My grandma!

An old adversary,

I have discovered.

Very old.

If you hurt my grandma...

Silence!

We've got him, madam.

Don't bite.

Open up.

Five hundred doses.

Come along.

Get up.

Look.

This stinking little carbuncle

has had 500 doses.

We are having instantaneous action.

'Bye.

Kill him.

Kill him!

Leave that little stinkpot!

It's not worth bothering about.

Come. Some whiskey and

champagne to celebrate.

Bruno? I don't believe it,

I can talk.

Bruno?

Who's that?

Bruno, it's me. Luke.

I'm down here.

Where?

I can't see you.

Down here.

You can talk, too.

This is weird.

- This icing is terrific.

- Are you okay?

They didn't give me

the six bars of chocolate.

You couldn't eat six bars of candy

now that you're a mouse.

Don't be stupid.

I'm not a...

Just because you're a...

That doesn't mean that I'm a...

Good Lord.

I'm not too keen on being a mouse.

We gotta find a way out of here.

How long before we change back,

do you think?

I don't think we will.

Of course we will.

We've gotta get upstairs and wake

my grandma. I'm real worried about her.

Maybe it was the witch,

or her diabetes.

I only know

she didn't wake up when I...

She's got some peanuts, too.

Dry-roasted?

All right.

Come on.

William and Mary!

Hi. It's me, Luke.

Are you two all right?

Crikey. Did they eat

the chocolate as well?

They were my pet mice.

But I guess they can't talk like we can.

Catch you two later.

Come on, Bruno.

This way.

They're gone.

It's all clear.

Come on.

Wait for me.

Running on a full stomach

isn't good for you.

Better than being caught.

- Keep up, Bruno.

- Sports give me indigestion.

Get back.

Okay, when I say "go", go!

Go!

- Run!

- Wait.

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