The Witches of Oz Page #3

Oh, I'm glad you asked.

It used to be a barn.

And a tornado

destroyed it in 1899.

They rebuilt it.

And another twister came along

in 1992 and took that one out.

I was there for that one.

Big, scary twister.

Winds were so strong, it tore

the trees out by the roots.

It took a bird and shoved it

right through the chimney.

Unbelievable.

We get a lot of those out here.

Really? How many

do you get a year?

- Ohh-ho-ho.

- Have you folks seen

that new mall

just off the interstate?

Well, it should be

finished this year.

- Open in time for Christmas.

- Watch your step.

The floors are kind of

rotted out over here.

What?

Here, kitty, kitty.

- Follow my lead.

- Got it.

- And use drawings.

They like pictures. - Me, too.

Brian, this isn't a

real estate deal in Kansas.

- Just sit there and try to look serious.

- Got it.

I'm nervous.

Good. it'll keep you

on your toes.

Just don't let your hands

get too sweaty.

- Sweaty.

- Here.

- Thank you.

- Let me take a look at you.

- An...

- on, hey!

What? Sex it up a little.

It's a children's book.

Whatever.

- Come on.

- She knows best.

Are you

coming, Dorothy?

This way.

She really moves fast.

- Oh! hang on!

- Hey.

- Oh, wow. thanks.

- Did you finish them?

- Yeah.

- Even the new one with the Nome King?

- I did, but I forgot it.

- Oh, that's OK.

- Yeah.

- That's typical.

It's a bit early for cocktails,

don't you think, dear?

I'm still on LA time.

It's 9 am in LA.

So, how many films

do you envision?

Well, there are six books.

And I'm currently

working on the s...

The seventh manuscript

will be done shortly.

- About a week?

- Are there any rights issues?

Oh, no. The original stories

owned by Dorothy's grandfather

are public domain, so...

rights to sequels, new versions,

are 100 percent hers.

Blah, blah, blah.

I hate business talk.

Oh, me too.

So what does Dorothy wear?

Well, actually,

Dorothy...

I think she should wear

something flashy.

You know, like

a trademark? Sexy.

Yeah. Dorothy...

in the story,

she's-she's 11.

I'm seeing, like, black leather pants or...

A tank top and

a motorcycle jacket.

Eleven year olds, they're-

they're not sexy.

Yes, but I look really good

in tight leather things, so...

Right, but, Dorothy would

never wear a leather jacket.

She's a little girl.

Billie, I thought she was

playing one of the witches?

I'm sorry. Me, me a witch?

No, I don't think so.

You see, witches are really old.

And decrepit and disgusting.

I mean, with the pointed hats

and the brooms,

and the-

Ooh, no. No.

Actually, in the drawings, we didn't

draw her, like, with the hat.

- it's too clich.

- So, what do you think of the stories?

I think it's fabulous.

She wasn't asking you.

So, how does it end?

I haven't started that yet.

Honestly, I-

I don't know.

The ending is

very important.

Yes. Yes, yes, I know.

And it'll be done very soon.

it's that I have a bit of...

writer's block since I just

moved to the big city

- a few weeks ago.

- Hmm.

It's a great view, isn't it?

Yes. Yes, yes,

it's a beautiful view.

So, when Dorothy gets back

to Kansas,

where does she

hide the key?

I'm sorry. What?

Well, she steals the key

from the Wizard

and comes back

to Kansas, right?

Yes, but that's part

of the new manuscript

that I've been working on.

The thing is, I- I haven't

shown that to anyone.

How did you know?

Martini?

You can set that down anywhere.

OK.

Do you really think

it went well?

Yeah.

I mean, other than

the sexy 11 year old bit.

Right? What was

that all about?

- She wants to ruin our book.

- Yeah, no kidding. Whatever.

- We just need the deal.

- Is that what you want?

Yeah, sure, I don't care.

More paychecks

for everyone, right?

And I can buy the farm from my

Uncle Henry and then just...

move on to something

that's more me.

And that would be..?

I'm not sure.

But, Billie's got

some great ideas.

Mm, yes. Billie.

Oh, come on.

Why don't you like her?

Um... she's mean,

she's pushy,

she never remembers

my name.

That's because

she's a New Yorker.

That's how they are.

Oh. Cold,

shallow, heartless?

Oh, that's because

she's an agent.

Ah. I see.

Billie is...

...amazing.

I couldn't have done

any of this without her.

Sometimes I even wish

I was her.

Especially today.

I was so nervous.

My hands were sweating.

I think you're great

just the way you are.

Well, thank you.

- Now you gotta get outta here,

'cause I gotta get ready. - What?

I thought we were

getting a pizza?

Sorry. Tomorrow,

I promise.

Billie's taking me out

for drinks.

OK, then. Tomorrow.

You know, just...

so you know, this is the fifth

time you've canceled on me

in, like,

the last two weeks.

Fourth.

Saturday, remember?

Movies with Allen

became drinks with Billie.

- The gallery opening.

- You're right.

I'm so sorry. It won't

happen again, I promise.

You will, but that's OK.

Toto, I don't know how

you put up with her.

- Oh, shoot!

- I'm going, I'm going. I'm going.

Where's

the key, Dorothy?

I'm sorry. I-

I thought that was the plan.

Finally, we got her.

After all these years

of searching.

And you go

and wreck everything!

I'm sorry. I'm so sorry!

Oh, no matter.

Ooh, does this mean

I can change?

- Oh, by all means.

- Yes!

Wretched little freak!

Maybe I should go redhead today.

Or maybe a blond.

Oh, no, wait.

Say whatever you want.

She's close to telling us.

I can feel it.

I know.

- I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

- Could you be any louder?

I'm being quiet.

Just do it.

Remember.

No! Not too much!

Remember.

Remember, Dorothy.

- Remember.

- Re...

No, no, no!

Give me the book!

You must agree to never

fetch it back.

You have my word.

You can't do this!

I already have.

Let her go.

You can't let her do this.

Take it.

I must protect the city.

Where 's the key?!

Thats it.

So, last night

I figured out the ending.

The ending to this

entire thing.

- Do you want some coffee?

- Oh, yes, please.

So, in the last book,

the Wicked Witch surrounds

the City of Emeralds, right?

And she demands the Munchkin book

because it has the Changing Word.

Munchkins are little

critters, right?

Yeah.

They're the little guys.

Gnomes are little, too.

But the Munchkins have the book.

Refresh me

on the book again.

So, the book is

this colossal tome.

It's the weight of the world

right between your hands.

But the secret is,

it contains one word. Just one.

The Changing Word.

How many of those have you had?

- What?

- Yeah. Here.

In order to cast

a spell in Oz,

you need an enchanted

object, or a potion.

- Like the silver slippers?

- Exactly!

But the Changing Word

is powerful by itself.

You don't need a magic wand

or slippers.

Changing Word,

what does it do?

Ah, the munchkin, Bini Aru,

used it to create Oz.

It has the power to transform

anything with a single word.

It can turn a desert

into an ocean.

Or turn a city into dust.

It's the ultimate power.

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