The Wizard of Lies Page #8

---

Fairfield's cage.

In the meantime,

I've got a few ideas.

- Fairfield?

- Yeah.

All right.

- Uh-huh. Nice, nice.

- Not in a bathing suit.

Me neither.

- Hey.

- Hey, kid.

I heard you're

the one who hustled

those penny stocks in that shitty

office you had downtown.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, that's me.

Can you believe I've known

this man for 50 years?

Carl, listen,

I wanna tell you something.

Not now.

There are some real opportunities

in the market right now

and I wanna make you

aware of them.

- Not now, Bernie.

- I know, I know.

- Not now. - I know.

I wouldn't tell you about them

unless they were really,

really important, okay?

I don't want you mad

at me you missed out.

All right.

How much do you

want me to put in?

- On top of the 300 million

I already have with you? - Yes.

The market in shambles?

It's plummeting, but now is

the time to take advantage.

- I'm so exposed... - That's exactly

why I'm proposing this to you.

...I'm afraid I'll be arrested

for public indecency.

Oh, I'm not doing it

with everybody.

- It's just a few people.

- All right, all right. Enough.

- Okay, and you are family.

- I'll tell you.

Listen,

I'll think about it.

- Okay.

- Okay?

But don't take too long.

In all seriousness,

don't take too long.

Please don't take too long.

- Carl...

- I said it. I will think about it.

- Period.

- I live you, I respect that.

Thank you very much.

F***ing rich people.

Parasites.

You're in a mood.

I gotta take this.

Well, I just

got off the phone

with that cocksucker

at Kingate.

He's pulling out 260 million.

Do these f***ing people

not understand

how a f***ing

split-strike works?

- Do they not understand?

- Hold on, I got Fairfield calling me back.

Hold on.

Yeah?

Hey, Rick Jarvis.

We met at the club a few

months back with Solomon.

Well, look, while I got

your attention,

I just exited this private equity

venture with a five X return.

I'm looking to put that money

to work right away this quarter.

Well, unfortunately,

that's not possible.

I haven't told you

how much.

- Well, it really doesn't matter.

- $100 million.

I'm sorry, but the fund

is fully subscribed

for the quarter.

- Even in this market?

- My clients know not to worry.

I know how to avoid

the pitfalls.

Okay, I want in

this quarter, all right?

Whatever restrictions

you wanna put on it,

you know, I'll park this money

with you for a long time.

It's not about the money.

It's about pushing clients aside.

I can't do that.

I have to sacrifice someone,

a loyal client to me,

in order to accommodate you.

Unless it's really,

really worth it...

I am talking

about giving you

$100 million.

That's, uh,

not gonna do it.

So what's it

gonna take?

I have to do

what's ethical.

- I can't let you jump the line.

- I'll go 150 if you let me.

- Love to help you,

but I can't. - 175.

Fully subscribed.

- 200.

- I wish I could.

I'm just thinking

if I... no.

225?

250.

$300 million.

How far do we gotta go?

Just tell me.

If you go above four,

we might have something.

400.

I can do that.

We got a deal.

I gotta take

this phone call.

Yeah?

I don't know who the f***

I was just talking with,

but if this guy checks out, we just

picked up a good piece of change.

Well, the sh*t is definitely

hitting the f***ing fan.

I got Fairfield-Greenwich

on the line.

- You want me to patch you in?

- Go ahead.

Hey, Bernie.

We catching you at a bad time?

You tell me. I got a back spasm

that's f***ing killing me.

- Bernie. Bernie.

- What's going on?

- Can I just get one minute?

- Not...

Just one minute

to introduce you.

- I can't talk.

- Just one minute!

- Yeah?

- Look, Bern,

you're basically the only fund

that hasn't gotten hammered.

You're the one place

clients can turn to for liquidity

without taking

huge losses.

It's the winner's curse.

What... what, am I

supposed to be flattered

that you just cashed out

a billion and a half dollars?

You gotta put a stop

to these redemptions

because if you don't, just know

there's plenty of money out there

that would love

to take your place.

- Is that a threat?

- You can take it any way you like.

Look at you all dressed up

and no place to die.

- Hello, Jeffry. - Come on, Bernie,

there's no need for stress.

I haven't made

many withdrawals.

Although, that's probably something

we should discuss, hmm?

I did wanna tell you that there

are some real opportunities

in the market right now

if you're interested, Jeffry.

- Hmm.

- What do you think?

- We should be talking...

- Mrs. Madoff!

- Mr. Picower.

- Your husband doesn't look well.

You should

attend to him, hmm?

You okay?

What's wrong

with him, Picower?

He's one strange,

sicko f***.

Oh, by the way,

my sister,

she's worried

about the economy

and she was thinking

about investing

the rest of her

savings with you.

- Would that be okay?

- Yeah, sure.

Walter, I'm not a f***ing money

market fund, do you understand?

If you don't stop

these withdrawals

and replace the money

before the end of the month,

then I'm gonna

cut you off!

I'm gonna close the whole

f***ing Fairfield account!

Yes!

Do you hear me?!

Oh, sh*t.

What the...?

- I hated that. No, I didn't!

- You loved it.

- You came out of there, you said...

don't lie. - Oh, I did not!

- You're such a liar.

- You're a liar.

Sweetheart, is that

a little bit too rare?

This is good.

- Everything all right?

- Yeah.

Did you wheel your luggage

into the bedroom?

- Why? - Did you wheel your

luggage into the bedroom?

Well, I certainly didn't bring

it in through the window.

But you smudged the

wall by the door.

You scuffed it

with your roller bag.

Well, string me up

and feed me to the dogs.

I'm sorry I scuffed

a wall, Bernie.

Emily, was just asking

about Wall Street, Dad.

Yeah, how is

Wall Street, Papa?

She's working

on her MBA.

Dad, future head

of Madoff Securities.

That's right.

Watch out, guys.

I asked how's

Wall Street, Papa?

Wall Street is good.

Dad says things

are bad at Wall Street.

Well, Dad told you that,

but things are fine.

Why are they bad?

What did I just say?

I asked a question.

Why is it bad?

I told you

they're not bad.

Why don't you

just eat?

Well, if it's not bad,

why do they call it a meltdown?

- Why don't you tell me?

- How am I supposed to know?

- That's why I'm asking you.

- Do you read "Barron's," huh?

Do you read the

"Wall Street Journal"?

- Why don't you tell me?

- I just asked a question.

You are my granddaughter

and you're an eight-year-old

and you shouldn't be

asking me questions like that.

- I don't feel like talking

about Wall Street. - Hey, Dad.

- I don't feel like... be talking

about Wall Street. - Dad.

- I'm here having dinner with

my family. - That's enough.

Bernie, what's wrong with you?

She's just curious.

Because she doesn't know

what the hell she's talking about.

She's eight years old.

I gotta get grilled by this kid.

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes