The Wolf of Wall Street Page #7

ROBBIE:

He’ll be wearing a helmet. Plus

they’ve got, like, superhumanstrength anyway.

DONNIE:

I did hear you're not supposed tomake direct eye contact. If youlook at them too long in theireyes they get freaked out - theirwires cross.

JORDAN:

I think there’s a limit to how far

we can go... I mean we can throwshit at him and -

DONNIE:

They have a lot of feelings.

JORDAN:

There’s a specific thing thatthey’ll do - You can throw him ata dart board but if you want himto show his cock or

ROBBIE:

Yes, that’s what this guy does.

RUGRAT:

That’s his gift.

ROBBIE:

Can we also bowl with him?

RUGRAT:

His brother is actually thebowler.

76

77

*

*

*

*

*

*

*

*

*

*

*

*

*

*

*

*

*

*

*

*

*

*

*

*

*

*

*

The Wolf of Wall Street Buff Revised Pages 3/5/13 34.

ROBBIE *

They strap a skateboard to him and *

throw him down an alley. *

RUGRAT *

They’re ornery, too, the littlepricks. You gotta be careful.

JORDAN:

Get some tranq darts.

DONNIE:

A little straitjacket. *

JORDAN *

What’s the liability on something *

like this?

RUGRAT *

That's a whole different thing. I *

can get on the phone with some *

people. I can talk to the *

insurance company and tell them *

exactly what we're going to do. *

But I think we go back to the same *

plan - loophole - if we don't *

really consider them people I *

think we are in the clear. *

DONNIE *

I think we should keep one in the *

office because I think they’re *

good luck. *

JORDAN *

Treat it like the f***in' thing it *

is. He's coming in. We're paying *

him for something. Treat him with *

respect. And you just shake his *

hand like you don't even think *

anything's wrong. *

DONNIE *

You just look like something else *

is going on. *

RUGRAT *

You don’t look at his eyes. *

DONNIE *

Say “thank you for being here”. *

ROBBIE *

You don’t turn your back on him. *

It’s a sign of disrespect. *

The Wolf of Wall Street Buff Revised Pages 3/5/13 35.

DONNIE *

If you want a cracker or something *

-I’m gonna have some treats in my *

pocket. I want to be in a strip *

club with you guys. Literally pull *

out a brief case and have a little *

f***in' guy pop out of there. You *

know how much f***in' p*ssy you *

get? *

JORDAN *

The point is get it out. *

DONNIE *

Get the jokes out now. Get the *

f***in’ jokes out now. *

JORDAN *

You’re gonna f*** it up. Purge all *

this sh*t right now. *

DONNIE *

That’s what I’m saying -*

JORDAN *

When he comes in the room, I want *

him to feel like a human being -*

DONNIE *

Business. Business. It’s f***in’ *

business, bro. *

JORDAN *

I want him to feel just like a *

normal human being. Cause you know *

-like one of us. One of us. *

DONNIE *

Like he’s an actual human being. *

One of us. *

JORDAN *

Gobble, gobble we accept you, one *

of us! One of us! *

ALL *

One of us. *

Janet pokes her head in. *

JANET:

Your dad’s coming. With the

American Express bill.

JORDAN:

Can you stop him?

The Wolf of Wall Street Buff Revised Pages 3/5/13 36.

JANET:

F*** you, you stop him.

The guys straighten up and head to desk, settle in. Max *

blows in past her, waving a 3-inch-thick bill:

MAX:

$430,000 dollars in one month!!

Four-hundred-and-thirty-thousand

dollars in one month!!

JORDAN:

Hello, Father. *

(Max’s expression

doesn’t budge)

They’re business expenses. Just *

relax. *

The guys titter at “business expenses.”

MAX:

If you bastards don't wipe thosesmug f***ing looks off your faces,

I swear to God I'm gonna wipe ‘emoff for you!

(back to Jordan)

Are you insane?

ROBBIE *

Actually, Max, my portion of thebill is hardly anything, so I’m onthe same page as you -

MAX:

Shut the f*** up, Feinberg, youonly have a portion because of myson, you worthless twerp!

DONNIE:

(chuckles)

Twerp.

MAX:

You zip it, too, Azoff, thoseboiling teeth of yours are hurtingmy f***ing eyes!

(turning to Jordan)

My own son! From my very loins!

What do you think this is? *

JORDAN:

Will you calm down -

MAX:

You don't think there's any end insight, do you? It's all one giantparty to you schmendricks!

(holds up AMEX bill)

$26,000 for one dinner!!

The Wolf of Wall Street Buff Revised Pages

MAX (CONT'D)

The Wolf of Wall Street Buff Revised Pages

MAX (CONT'D)

3/5/13 37.

JORDAN:

Donnie ordered sides.

DONNIE:

Yeah, that was... Sorry.

MAX:

(glowering)

What is EJ Entertainment?

EJ Entertainment?!

What is

JORDAN:

(restraining a grin)

You tell me, Dad.

MAX:

It’s a goddamn prostitution ringis what it is!!

Jordan feigns shock, turns to Donnie: did you know it was

a prostitution ring?!

DONNIE:

Doesn’t the IRS allow for T&A?

MAX:

It’s T&E and stop f***ing with me!

What kind of hookers take credit

cards, anyway?!

Jordan takes the bill, starts flipping through it.

JORDAN (V.O.)

In Stratton parlance, there werethree kinds of hookers. There

were blue chips, the top of theline. Model material. They werepriced between $300 and $500 andmade you wear a condom unless yougave them a hefty tip, which Ialways did.

77A A “BLUE CHIP” HOOKER FLOATS THROUGH, SURROUNDED BY

STRATTON BROKERS.

77A*

*

JORDAN (V.O.)

Then came NASDAQs, who were

pretty, but not great, usuallyin the two to three hundred

dollar range.

The Wolf of Wall Street Buff Revised Pages 3/5/13 38.

77B

A “NASDAQ” HOOKER DANCES THROUGH BULLPEN. STRATTON *77BBROKERS WATCH. *

JORDAN (V.O.)

Finally there were pink sheets,

skanks, the bottom of the barrel.

77C

A “PINK SHEET” HOOKER, COVERED IN TATTOOS, IS ON ALL *77CFOURS AS SEA OTTER RIDES HER LIKE A PONY. *

JORDAN (V.O.)

They usually cost a hundred orless, and if you didn't wear acondom, you'd get a penicillinshot the next day and pray yourdick didn't fall off.

77D

THE ABOVE-MENTIONED “PINK SHEET” HOOKER SITS ON A STOOL, *77DAS SEA OTTER FUCKS HER. *

JORDAN (V.O.)

Not that we didn’t f*** them, too.

Believe me, we did.

Behind him, the other guys wait their turns.

*

77E

BACK TO SCENE 77E

Max continues to steam so Jordan ushers Robbie, Rugratand Donnie out the door.

JORDAN:

Give us a minute, will you, guys?

He closes the door, then stretches a bit, exaggeratedly,

letting out a little moan.

MAX:

What’s the matter?

JORDAN:

Nothing, just... My back’s beenkilling me. Pain shooting down myleg. Not to worry, it’ll pass.

MAX:

What do the doctors say?

JORDAN:

Doctors, what do they know? I’m onlike twenty different medications.

(re:
the Amex bill)

Look, I know it's hard for you tomake sense of these expenses, butthere's a method here, okay? *

The Wolf of Wall Street Buff Revised Pages 3/5/13 39.

Max waits to hear it; Jordan gestures to the bullpen

MAX:

And you have to lead by example,

is that it?

(Jordan nods)

I’m tellin’ ya, kid, one of thesedays... one of these days thechickens are gonna come home to

roost.

Rate this script:3.9 / 15 votes