The World According to Garp Page #5

---

Yes, it is. That's why she's here.

My name's Roberta.

I'm Garp.

- You're Jenny's son!

- Yes, I am.

I just finished reading your novel.

I think it's wonderful.

I adored it.

- What happened?

- It's all right.

Garp just frightened Alice for a bit,

but she's fine.

I'm sorry. All I did was just touch her.

It's all right, darling.

It's all right, everyone!

Just go back

to what you were doing before.

Everything is fine!

Barbara, it's all right.

Mom, I'm sorry. I didn't know.

He's my son.

What's her problem?

- She's an Ellen Jamesian.

- What does that mean?

You don't know what an Ellen Jamesian is?

No. What?

She's taken a vow of frowns or something?

She has no tongue.

- What do you mean, she has no tongue?

- I mean she has no tongue.

It was cut off.

Oh, Christ. I'm sorry.

It was cut off on purpose.

Because of what happened

to a little girl named Ellen James.

Two men raped her

when she was 11 years old.

They cut off her tongue

so she wouldn't tell...

...who they were or what they looked like.

Some of these women formed a society

in her honor.

You mean, this Ellen James Society

doesn't speak, as if they had no tongues?

No, I mean they don't have any tongues.

The women in the Society

have their tongues cut off.

To protest what happened to Ellen James.

You mean, they actually

have their own tongues cut off?

- Yes. The society...

- Mom, I don't want to hear about this sh*t!

You're a little short on sympathy.

I've got a lot of sympathy

for a girl who gets raped.

But God, this is self-mutilation!

Suppose the next time there's a rape, I cut

off my prick and wear it around my neck.

I got a good idea, too.

Why not cut off your tits?

That way your armor will fit!

- It's all right.

- Jesus Christ!

No sense making things any worse

than they are.

- This whole house is full of...

- I know.

Everyone here has something missing

or some wound that won't heal.

And your mother tries to nurse them

back to health.

She's a wonderful person.

- Are you visiting somebody here?

- No, why?

You just seem like

the only normal person around the place.

Oh, I don't know.

Pardon me.

I hate to use a corny line like this,

but haven't I seen you before?

- You like football?

- I used to watch it quite a bit.

You might have seen me.

I was a tight end

with the Philadelphia Eagles.

Number 90? Robert Muldoon?

- I had a great pair of hands.

- Yes, you did.

- Goodbye, Helen.

- 'Bye, Roberta.

Duncan, a kiss for Grandma?

- Can you say "'Bye, Grandma"?

- 'Bye, Grandma.

- When are you due?

- How did you know?

I'm a nurse. I know.

When's what due?

Helen's expecting.

No, she's not.

Yeah, she is.

- Oh, boy.

- Helen!

How wonderful!

- Have a lovely trip back.

- We will.

- I'll send you the book when I finish.

- I'll call you when we get home.

- Drive carefully.

- Goodbye, darling.

Goodbye, sweetheart.

- I did it again.

- You sure did.

If it's a girl...

- 'Bye, Duncan!

- Bye-bye, sweetheart.

Pretty nice Halloween party?

Death scared me.

- That wasn't death. It was just a costume.

- It scared me.

- Nobody's scared of bears.

- And bears are scared of nobody.

Except death.

What's gradual school?

Gradual school?

Yeah. Mom says she teaches kids

that go to gradual school.

Gradual school is where

you gradually find out...

...that you don't want to go

to school anymore.

Who's Mommy talking to?

I don't know.

Who do you think she's talking to?

Damn you, Duncan!

- Leave him alone!

- I got you, I got you, I got you!

What going on out here?

- Walt's scared of death, Mom.

- No, he's not.

- I am so.

- Inside, Duncan.

- Roberta called.

- To wish us a Happy Halloween?

That's right.

- We should invite her over next weekend.

- I just did.

I don't want your names on these.

I just want to know why you've selected

this particular literature course.

Anonymity promotes honesty.

That's it. I will see you Tuesday.

Michael Milton.

The thing that's really hard is that

I'd love to have kids.

Of course I can't.

And they won't let me adopt.

Jenny's doing all she can.

We're taking the case to court.

- I love kids.

- Me, too.

I didn't know I loved them so much

until I became a woman.

Had I known, I would've had some

while I was still a man.

Duncan and Walt are crazy about you.

Well, you know how I feel about them.

What's the matter?

It's just one of those

raging hormonal attacks.

Son of a b*tch!

Hey, you stop!

There was a stop sign there! Right?

You're supposed to stop.

You're supposed to come to a full stop.

There could've been kids playing there.

A pregnant woman. An old man.

Right?

We are civilized people,

and civilized people obey the rules!

You Neolithic dipshit!

Get off me! What are you doing?

What was that all about?

- He's been terrorizing the area for years.

- You don't think that was overreacting?

F***!

That son of a b*tch ran

that same stop sign.

You have one hell of a way

of making converts to civilization.

The only thing you've inherited

from your mother...

...is your natural ability to piss people off.

That was a dreadful film.

I love dreadful films.

Whoever made this dreadful film

is a friend of mine.

I wish I had friends who wrote

dreadful novels, novellas, and short stories.

Practically a whole window to yourself.

- How about that?

- I like it.

Hi, teacher.

Hi.

Who was that?

Just one of my gradual students.

I wish you wouldn't do this.

- The kids love it. It's like flying.

- It's dangerous and silly.

Ta-ranta-ranta-ra!

- I'll send the sitter out.

- Roger and out.

Hi.

Hi.

- You know, I've just been reading this.

- Really? How do you like it?

I love it. It's awfully sad.

- I've read everything you've written.

- Really?

What does the T.S. stand for?

Terribly Sad.

It used to be Terribly Sexy, but I changed.

- I don't think so.

- Really?

No.

- How old are you?

- 18.

Is there any word in the English language

as sexy as that?

How old are you?

Dirty 30?

Are you really 18?

I promise.

I wish I had known you

when you were 15.

I wish I'd known you when you were five!

I wish we grew up together as kids.

That way, I could see you flat-chested

and watch you as your breasts grew.

You'll get to see my breasts sag,

my teeth fall out...

...and my hair turn gray.

It's not as exciting but...

Our youth is gone, isn't it?

How about that?

I'm 30.

Dirty 30.

Why dirty?

I don't know.

- Maybe we should move.

- Why?

I mean,

there's nuclear power plants nearby.

Crazy drivers everywhere.

Strangers.

What strangers?

We haven't had any strangers, but I mean...

...strangers can come between us.

Did you seduce that babysitter?

Oh, for Jesus Christ! That really gets me!

- Sorry.

- I should hope so.

- Let's make love.

- I don't think so.

- Don't you think I want to?

- No, I don't think I want to.

- I do. I really do.

- I don't. I really don't.

I want to finish reading this story.

You're reading another writer in my bed.

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes