The World According to Garp Page #7

---

- Daddy's a guy.

But Daddy has Mommy.

If Daddy had Mommy,

but he was a basketball player...

...why couldn't he have kids?

But he's a Daddy, and she's a Mommy.

That means they do have kids, right?

You're so dumb. It's a joke.

You didn't say it was a joke.

- Where's your handkerchief?

- I don't have one.

Here. Take mine.

- How come we're eating out?

- Because it's fun!

Hear that, Walt? We're having fun.

What's Mom going to eat

when she comes home?

Shut up and eat!

This sure is fun, Dad!

Garp?

Duncan!

Walt!

Oh, God.

Hello?

Hello, Helen.

iWhere are you?

- What the hell do you care where we are?

You call him, Helen.

And you tell that wimp...

i... it's all over.

- Of course I will.

You call him, and you say:

"Good-bye." On the phone.

No last fucks for the road. On the phone!

Come home.

I feel horrible without all of you here.

Walt had a cold this morning.

He should be home.

Home! What home?

We're going to go to a movie.

I just can't see you right now.

Will you cut that sh*t out?

We'll be home later,

if we come home at all.

The word '"home'"keeps coming up,

but it doesn't sound the same anymore.

Get in the goddamn back. Get in there!

- Oh, Michael, damn it, will you listen?

iYou can't, Helen. You just can't.

iNot like this.

- I said, it's over.

I've got to see you one more time.

I'm coming over. I'll be right there.

You can't! Michael!

- I don't feel like a movie.

- Me neither.

Too bad, let's go.

- Guess what?

- What?

I think we're still having fun.

- I've got to see you, Helen!

- You must go. You can't come in.

Then get in the car with me.

- No, Michael, please!

- I brought some champagne.

- Just for a minute.

- We're not going anywhere!

I know.

I just want to sit and talk with you.

Give me the keys.

Give me your car keys and I'll get in

the car for a minute, but then you must go.

I'll be right back.

Let's go.

- The movie's not finished yet.

- It's finished when I say it's finished.

It's real macho time!

- Stop quoting Roberta.

- I'm quoting Granny.

- He is, he's quoting Granny.

- I don't care. Come on.

Go f*** yourself!

There. I've had two glasses of champagne.

You have to leave now!

I can't. I just can't.

I told you, the minute anyone found out

about this, it was over.

But you're all I've got.

I broke up with Marge.

You broke up with Marge too late.

Be a man, Michael.

You started it. Now be a man and leave!

It's like being underwater.

Yeah, and you know who lives underwater.

The terrible, the ugly, undertoad!

If we could have just one more time...

- Michael!

- We wouldn't have to leave the car.

Oh, my God. Is that what you want?

I always wanted you to.

Oh, God!

Please?

If I do it, will you leave then?

- Do you promise?

- Yes.

- Promise?

- I promise.

Make it fly, Dad. We want to fly.

It's like a dream.

You got a nice tan.

That's all I got.

I came as soon as I could after your letter.

The cruise was a disaster, anyway.

I'm glad you're here.

How are they?

We need you here.

There's a lot of healing yet to be done.

Are you okay?

It was fine.

No, it wasn't. It was a bore.

I missed you all,

and I couldn't wait to get back.

Come on in. I'll take you up to your room.

The doctor says he'll be fine...

...once they take the stitches out

of his tongue and unwire his jaw.

At least he's better off than...

- What was his name?

- Michael Milton.

Yes, Milton.

I mean, I had mine removed surgically

under general anesthesia.

But to have it bitten off...

It's a nightmare.

It's lust.

What the hell's the matter with you?

You think you're the only one around here

with a broken heart?

Is that what you think?

Well, you're not.

Look around you!

This house is full of them!

And mine is one!

Laurel!

Now, hold on to it.

- Got it?

- Yeah, I got it. You can let go now.

The more the wind blows,

the more you can let out.

Hey, you! Dildo!

Is this the nuthouse

where you're keeping my Laurel?

- Stay right here.

- Okay.

Laurel is here...

...but we're not exactly "keeping her."

- Bullshit, you big dyke!

- I am not a dyke. Is Laurel expecting you?

- F*** you, you douche bag.

- That's all you men understand, is violence.

I know what sort of creeps

hang around here.

It's a big lesbian scene!

What are you?

The man of the house,

or the court eunuch?

Laurel! You in there, you b*tch?

Hello.

I know who you are.

- My Laurel's not your type, sweetie.

- Perhaps she's not your type, either.

Listen, goddamn it! If you don't get

Laurel's ass out here, I'm going to...

Randy!

- Are you all right?

- Baby, you found me.

I don't think I can drive the f***ing car.

That's all right, I can drive.

You just never let me.

I guess Randy needs me.

- Easy!

- Sorry, baby.

Crazy dyke blindsided me.

I'll tell you honestly, son.

I think you've been behaving very badly.

I've been watching you,

and I've been talking to Helen.

What happened happened.

Your blaming her

isn't going to change that.

She's hurt, and you're hurt.

And you just keep pouring salt

on the wounds.

That's no way

for the son of a nurse to behave.

Heal yourself, damn it!

And help her heal herself,

before it's too late for both of you.

Come in.

Did you see the doctor?

Did he take out the stitches?

Can you speak?

I miss you.

I miss you, too.

I really miss you.

Me, too.

I miss Walt!

Me, too.

I want another child, Garp.

- You do?

- Yes. Don't you?

Of course!

As soon as possible!

I'm so, so sorry!

No, I'm sorry.

- No, I'm so...

- Oh, no. I'm sorry.

You can order a nice glass eye

for any occasion.

Is that really true?

Yes. For Valentine's Day,

you can have one with a heart.

A flag for the Fourth of July.

- A turkey for Thanksgiving?

- Lf you insist.

I know what I want.

For Christmas, I want a glass eye

like one of those crystal balls they have...

...with snow inside of them.

I tip my head back like this,

and then like this...

...and then there's snow falling in my eye.

That sounds wonderful.

Listen.

Is Daddy writing again?

Oh, Duncan!

I see a man with one leg.

I wish you'd reconsider.

I want it published.

People used her. They took her life away.

- You're using her, too.

- I'm just helping her state her case.

Maybe, but you also want to get

at the Ellen Jamesians.

You want to hurt them.

No, I don't. I just want them to stop

what they're doing. Ellen wants that, too.

- Have you talked with her about it?

- No, I couldn't find her.

I don't know where she is.

You have a fine reputation as a writer

of serious fiction. This is serious stuff.

But it is not fiction.

It's a long, merciless attack.

You're a publisher, John, not a critic.

You just publish it.

I see a man with one arm!

As a friend, I'm warning you:

you'll be sorry you ever wrote this.

I'll take that chance. Just publish it!

He's got a dog with him.

At least change the title.

I want it Ellen.

t Ellen, and that's

'Bye, Uncle John.

Goodbye, Duncan.

Garp? Garp!

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes